My dad is a really retarded nutjob!

way to be a respectful son.

Sounds like the fruit doesn't fall far from the tree.

It's hard to respect someone who doesn't respect you.

But you don't have to call him names...

Just try to remember that it's really hard to be a parent. My father was a real perfectionist- so smart, so competent at everything, successful in his career, etc...and he was that way before I ever met him. I used to look at his highschool yearbooks - he was the valedictorian of his highschool, lettered in three sports, voted most likely to succeed, the MC of his senior talent show....you get the picture.

Well, he was okay with me - because I learned quick and I was good in school. But my little brother was different - literally. He'd had his oxygen restricted at birth and was what was called back then, "a slow learner". And I would watch my dad just lose it whenever he had to deal with the fact that my brother just couldn't live up to his standards. And I thought, "Why is he so mean to him?"

Then I had my own kids and my son was quick to learn everything - no problem. But my daughter didn't learn her times tables until she was like eleven or twelve years old (most kids learn them at seven or eight). No matter what I did - she just could not get it. And I would hear myself saying the same things my dad would say to my brother (he was never abusive - just stuff like - "You're not trying...you need to stop fooling around and think...).
And I realized that I must be feeling the same thing he felt - and it wasn't that I was angry - I was SCARED! It made me feel so scared for her that she couldn't get this simple skill - what would it mean for the rest of her life? And that was the first time I realized how SCARED my dad must have felt when faced with raising a child like my brother. He had no understanding or practice with how to do it. And it was something he couldn't control - and it scared the **** out of him.

So, I know it hurts to feel like a disappointment - and to burn your hand and feel like no one cares...but don't let yourself be as thoughtless or scared toward your dad as he is toward you...if you love him...just try to keep showing it and learn how to take care of yourself.
THAT"LL show him!

At your age (I'm guessing here), you only have a problem if you like your parents.

Damned lucky for you that you didn't fall inside.

Just think if a couple of city workers had emerged from that manhole just as your blade passed over it. They would have been decapitated.

We walk on dangerous roads.

both of your parents are obviously too stupid to live in society.

they need to be institutionalized immediately.

and after you institutionalize your parents have then sterilized and then commit suicide but first kill your siblings if you have any.

This circle of pain and dysfunction must, for the sake of humanity, be broken.

Or go hit the pipe until you feel better.

I'm kidding of course. I'm sure your entire family is just like the Cleavers.

Primovito--

Your post was seismological, opening and revealing all sorts of generational fissures.

A2K members are just one of your peer groups. Your membership here has been earned by a love of vigorous intellectual discussion. Most of the A2K members are older than you are--and the variety in generational points of view adds a richness to discussions.

Bottom line is we're more inclined by age to identify with your father rather than you. I have no idea whether you were cutting the grass as an enthusiastic volunteer or as an obedient grass-mowing conscript or as a resentful, enslaved young man who had better things to do with springtime.

Also, bottom line. The lawnmower is alive and well. I have no idea how unsightly the "giant, scar-sized hole" in the manhole cover may be or how much it will cost to replace.

Your father seems to have a track record of instructing through loud, over-stated, deliberately hurtful comments. Your post shows that you have picked up this habit.

There is a folk cliche, "He's a chip off the old block". You must choose for yourself which of your father's characteristics you'll employ and which you'll echew for the rest of your life.

Most A2K members come from cultures in which bad-mouthing your immediate family in public is gauche. This is particularly true when the objectionable family member is the person who provides you with food, clothing, shelter and spending money.

In a discussion with your age group it would probably be completely acceptable to use the language you used to criticize your father's approach to raising kids.

Had you wanted to discuss how you felt when an authoritarian parent damned you left, right and center over a minor incident, we'd have listened. Had you wanted suggestions on how to deal with an irrational father, you might have started a lively discussion.

Instead you unwittingly committed generational and cultural taboos.

Unfortunately, you probably feel Most Misunderstood right now.

Live and learn. Hold your dominion.

actually I would be more inclined to side with the kid because of my experiences growing up... I understand his anger. Lashing out is all you have when you feel powerless and especially when you feel mistreated and unheard.

My other post was just me farting around.

BPB--

I'm not against Primivito--just aware that he may not realize how he has offended.

Besides, some cycles are worthy of breaking.

I couldn't agree more...My mother was deserted by her family... I was deserted by mine... I decided to break that circle of desertion with an act of will... that's what it takes...

BPB--

You can't pick your parents--but you can pick and choose what characteristics of your parents you incorporate in your own personality.

You have been sensibly selective.