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Please help me write a silly verse!

 
 
Reply Tue 4 Dec, 2007 06:12 pm
Hi guys, would you clever folks help me with a little project?

Our final assignment for this art class was to make a design based on the seven deadly sins. I chose envy, and did an image of a bran muffin glaring jealously at a big pretty cake. It's a wood engraving, so it has a sort of old bookplate look to it anyway, plus with the topic being the seven deadly sins, the whole thing has this sort of silly take on an old fashioned topic feel to it.

We have to write a little blurb explaining our piece (it can also be a quote, or a poem or whatever, that's why it doesn't matter if I write it or not). Well, my idea was to do an little jokey verse, that would tie into that feeling, and I've been trying to write some little couplet or four-line thing, but I'm awful at clever-word-stuff (see?). Would anyone be willing to take a stab at this? Something along the lines of, you know, "O, Muffin, beware of Envy, lest thee blah blah blah"?

I'm at school posting this real quick, but when I get home I'll post a photo of the engraving, in case anyone's interested. Thanks so much to anyone who replies!
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sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Tue 4 Dec, 2007 07:13 pm
I want to see the engraving!

Just here for a minute and not sure if I'll be able to come up with anything later, but I'll give it a shot.
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jespah
 
  1  
Reply Tue 4 Dec, 2007 07:19 pm
How silly ya want it?
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Rockhead
 
  1  
Reply Tue 4 Dec, 2007 07:26 pm
All Bow, The Queen of Silly Verse is now in the House.... Cool

Hi Jes. Cool
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cyphercat
 
  1  
Reply Tue 4 Dec, 2007 07:38 pm
Jespah! Just who I was hoping to see Smile

It can be absolutely ridiculous, there's no limit on how silly it can be. This is a classroom full of people who love puns and goofiness and anything silly. (Hence my seven deadly baked goods picture...) Let me post the image so you can see the envious bran muffin for inspiration.
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Slappy Doo Hoo
 
  1  
Reply Tue 4 Dec, 2007 07:46 pm
"Hey cake, I'm going to violate you with a broken broomstick."
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Rockhead
 
  1  
Reply Tue 4 Dec, 2007 07:48 pm
Slap, It's not a prison cake... Rolling Eyes
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cyphercat
 
  1  
Reply Tue 4 Dec, 2007 07:55 pm
Well, darn it... I just realized that I didn't bring home a finished print today, so all I have is a working proof.

It's close to what the final version looks like, but it's not fully inked so it's kinda blotchy, and there are some other things that aren't as good as on the finished one. But you can still get the idea, so I'll post it anyway.

http://img391.imageshack.us/img391/5275/envyproofcopyfw5.th.jpg

Sorry it's teeny, but it's clickable. (Then when you click it it's too huge and you can see all the mistakes!)

Slappy, that's...um......really close to what I'm looking for! Good job! Shocked
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cyphercat
 
  1  
Reply Tue 4 Dec, 2007 07:57 pm
Ugh! I just clicked on it again-- I hate seeing it all huge like that! It's only 3" by 4" in real life, so it doesn't look right being so large.


Anyway, I'm still trying to write something, too...it's not going well! This is why I never participate in all the limerick and story-writing type of threads Laughing

Harken thee now to the fate of Bran Muffin,
Who Envied the frosting of Cake,
blah blah, blah blah blah....yeah, that's all I got.

I keep trying to have poor Muffin get dropped or something, to pay for his sinful ways, and then end with "So Beware of the deadly sin Envy, Lest thee too end in Crumbs on the Floor!" *sigh* I should prolly be working on my paper that's due instead of this, heeheehee...
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Green Witch
 
  1  
Reply Tue 4 Dec, 2007 09:04 pm
The envy of the muffin takes not into account the guilt of those who eat the cake and not the muffin, for tomorrow the muffin will be the hero.


(i'm not very good with limericks/poems either, so I thought more along an Aesop's fable or a moral to a story)
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cyphercat
 
  1  
Reply Tue 4 Dec, 2007 09:39 pm
Ha! I like that a lot... it can certainly be unrhymed, I just want it to have that moralizing feel.
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Butrflynet
 
  1  
Reply Tue 4 Dec, 2007 09:42 pm
Little Muffin glared at the big Devil's Food blob and muttered:

Quote:
"Those squiggles of sweetness really frost my bran!"
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ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Tue 4 Dec, 2007 09:47 pm
Oh, that's so nice and woodcutty...





pardon me while I dwell in the realm of envy and work up a froth..
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ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Tue 4 Dec, 2007 09:57 pm
Ooh, my first poem was horrible. Perhaps I'll do better.
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ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Tue 4 Dec, 2007 10:09 pm
Little Branmuffin sat by a puffin, mulling on peeks at the day.

In waddled a Cake, a cake you could make, if only you'd icing for play.

The cake sat down, plump on the plate, and waited for candles to fit on her head.

The candles on fire, Bran gleamed with desire, thinking, those calories will all flatten her bed...
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Stray Cat
 
  1  
Reply Tue 4 Dec, 2007 10:09 pm
I just did this in about ten minutes, so I don't expect you to actually use it! Smile But maybe it will give you some ideas:

The Muffin

The muffin was feeling a treat
all pretty in white paper pleats
She was placed on a table of wood
And she felt so sweet and so good

Then she noticed that very close by
was a sight that made her quite shy
A big yellow cake with pink icing
With flowers and swirls, looked enticing

She's so much better than me!
The muffin cried en-vious-ly
Who'd want this little ol' snack
When they could have something likeĀ….that!

The muffin had made the mistake
Of comparing herself to the cake
Perfect in her own little way
Till envy had ruined her day.

Razz
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Tai Chi
 
  1  
Reply Tue 4 Dec, 2007 10:13 pm
O pity the fate of that muffin named Bran,
Who so envied the cake, she hid under a pan.
By beauty o'ershadowed, her goodness unseen,
Since no one enjoys a muffin that's "green".

(Company tonight, I've had a little wine...forgive the spelling/grammar mistakes. That was fun!)
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ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Tue 4 Dec, 2007 10:13 pm
um, those calories will burn down her bed...





Oh, never mind..
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Tai Chi
 
  1  
Reply Tue 4 Dec, 2007 10:14 pm
Love the "white paper pleats" Stray Cat.
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Stray Cat
 
  1  
Reply Tue 4 Dec, 2007 10:15 pm
Thanks, Tai Chi!

And osso, I loved this:

Quote:
those calories will burn down her bed
:wink:
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