Friends....Friendly Acquaintances

I've had friends once or twice, but currently I have none.

Do erstwhile friends count?

they did once...

I've got more friends than friendly acquaintances.

I'm not likely to waste time I could spend with friends on acquaintances. I value my friends. My best friend from high school is still my best friend. We don't live in the same city anymore, but I'd trust her with anything, and we can pick up a conversation after 5 minutes or 5 months apart. She's married to one of my other good friends - he's another person I trust and who I can talk to without having to explain anything. For me, that's one of the measuring points - do I have to explain myself or the background of a situation or the history of my feelings or can we just talk. With friends, there is trust and talk, and no need for explanations.

I have a comfortable circle of good friends. Friendly acquaintances - to me, they just seem like people who are angling to be friends - and I don't need or want any more.

great answer ebeth... I have a childhood friend in Virgina who suits that description... we rarely see each other but when we do it's like picking up a conversation again in mid sentence...

Hi Bear.

Do you consider that "childhood friend" to still be a friend (using your own definition of friend v friendly acquaintance)?

I have more of the former than the latter because if I like someone and they like me- and we have fun spending time together-I treasure that- and I always have.
I'm still friends with people I knew in elementary school, highschool, and college, people I babysat for when I was thirteen, professors who taught me, students I've taught, the guy who was my childrens' pediatrician when they were babies, etc.
And by friends I mean that we still communicate with and visit each other -I know what they are doing in their lives and they know what I'm doing in mine - we still KNOW each other- what the other is and likes to do and loves and WHY they like and love those things- and we each know that if at all possible- the other would do whatever they could to help if it was needed help in any way.

I don't have alot of friendly acquaintances. I'm kind of all or nothing in that respect. I'm polite and nice to strangers- and actually always open to friendship with anyone unless they're just plain mean or petty- but if I don't like you enough to be your friend- acquaintanceship just doesn't seem like a productive or worthwhile use of my time (although I would try to help someone if they asked me - and that goes for complete strangers as well as acquaintances).

yes... we are friends... we expect nothing of each other except our friendship.... are aware of each other's bad points and don't care...

definitely friends then. good definition

I consider myself lucky. There are a few constants in my life, though we're scattered, now. I could tell them anything, and yet I don't…or at least not always…or maybe at least not everything…but I could, and they me, and I can't say that for everyone.

And I've a number of good people near and dear, who I hope to still know in twenty years…perhaps then I'll consider them, and they me, constant… though if I were to introduce them now, I would identify them as my friends, which they are of course, but I think I know what you mean…

Over the years I've seen many terrific people come and go...not because they weren't "friends" material, just...because, well, just because...

Mostly, I'm happy to have known them...c'est la vie.

I can relate to this definition. I have way fewer friends than friendy acquaintances. I have one really good friend who never judges but isn't afraid to tell me what she really thinks.

I have some "old" friends, meaning we go back more than 20 years.
We keep in contract through emails and phone calls, but once a year we meet in Europe. Everyone flys in from different directions and for a
weekend we all stay at the same hotel, and talk, drink, and talk, talk talk..... They also come and visit us here in California.

Also my American friends, I've had for a long long time. Come to think of,
I don't really have "new" friends - it seems I don't have the time or effort to make new friends. I also found that the older I get, the
less compatibility I have with others.

I think men have 2 good friends.
1A friend who, though time separates the partners, always is able to rekindle the friendship as though time hadnt interefered

2 A "doin stuff buddy" who, like oneself, shares all the dumb hobbies and likes doing them together with one.

All others are either, acquaintences that come and go, collegues who come and go, and associates who come and go.

I have to think about neighbors. WHen mere geography determines our associations, Id call them varying degrees of acquaintence

I have had several genuine friends, who will remain so through thick and thin. I count myself lucky.

Through the years, my work has put me in contact with tons of people, so I have many, many friendly acquaintances. More than I can count.

True friends, though....well, that's a whole different subject. I have a few, and we've been friends for many years. Most do not live in the same city I do (or state, for that matter.) The time I get to spend with them is rare and highly treasured.

It takes a lot of time to develop a true friendship. As my life has become busier, I haven't spent the time it takes to develop a lot of friendships. Frankly, I haven't had enough time to do that. It's a sad story, but a typical one, I think. Most of my good friends date back to my college, single & before-kids years, when I had plenty of time to cultivate those friendships.

In my experience, women tend to have more "true friends" than men do. A lot of men only have "doin' things" buddies (if that) because they so rarely share their emotions or deep thoughts. (Yeah, I know, it's a cultural thing.) Often their wives or girlfriends are the only people in their lives that qualify as real friends.

I was encouraged when I read edgar's post, though. I'd love to hear that sort of thing from other A2K men. C'mon guys, 'fess up.

I think certain work environments are more conducive to cultivating friendships than others. I'm glad I'm a teacher, because every year there are twenty (at least) new stories that walk through the door- and you have the time to really get to know those people, to work with them collaboratively to achieve something, that means alot to them (particularly in adult literacy and numeracy education) and sometimes that forms a bond or connection that neither one of you want want to see end just because that particular year is over.
I guess that's how I'd ascertain who's a friend and who's an acquaintance in any situation-if we maintain a connection that goes beyond what would be there coincidentally - I'd call that a friend. If neither one of us goes out of our way to see the other person again, after we've stopped being thrown together through necessity - I'd call that an acquaintance.

*Also true of teaching- in terms of colleagues - you often feel you're in the trenches together, you know and care about the same people, and that forms a very strong bond as well.

My friends are the poor and the oppressed.

Does it surprise you?