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Sat 29 Sep, 2007 02:51 pm
Late last night on my way home from a little bar-hopping, I found a chair that someone had thrown out on the sidewalk. It was about a half block from my apartment. I stopped to check it out, and it looked okay. A little worn, but it looked clean, and not too ugly. It was a good-sized purple-cushioned living room kind of chair. While I was looking at it, some guy who was walking by smiled and said, "That's a nice piece." I hoped he was talking about the chair. Maybe he's right, I thought...this is a nice piece. It was settled. I was going to have that chair.
I picked it up. I found that the chair was sturdily-constructed, and pretty damn heavy. I put it back down and looked at it. It was actually a pretty good distance down the street to my building. And once I got there, I'd have to go up three flights of stairs. This was going to be tougher than I thought. Plus, it was put out with the garbage, for pete's sake. What kind of person takes furniture from other people's garbage? Fortunately I'd been drinking, and that gave me the strength to steamroll right over any practicality, common sense or good judgment I might possess.
So I picked up that big purple sonofabitch and carried it all the way down the block to my apartment. I swore under my breath as I struggled clumsily down the street with the chair awkwardly grasped in my arms, but I never doubted myself. I was going to have that sonofabitch.
I then humped that sucker up three flights of stairs to my apartment. I was swearing under my breath as I went up the stairs..."come on...come on, you big purple sonofabitch..." It was really pretty bulky and awkward to carry. I remember accidentally banging it into the walls a couple-few-several times...this is maybe at about 2:00 in the morning...I accidentally banged it into my super's door on the second floor while I was trying to get a better grip--I'm telling you, that big purple sonofabitch was pretty damn awkward.
Finally I made it up to my apartment. I managed to maneuver the big purple sonofabitch through my door and then just left it there in the kitchen. I was tired but happy. I had me a new chair. The big purple sonofabitch was mine.
Earlier this afternoon, I woke up and looked at the big purple sonofabitch. Surprisingly, it was fairly clean and not too faded...it was a nice piece! So I just gave it a preliminary clean-up job and moved it into position. It looks okay. I sat in it. It's comfortable. I think I like it.
Now I think I'm gonna curl up in my new old chair, throw open the windows, listen to the classic rock station low in the background and read a book.
Welcome home, big purple sonofabitch. Let's read.
Great story!
I'm looking for a comfy reading chair and wish I could find a free one. When I look at chairs I just can't decide what it is that would make a comfy reading chair. Free would make the decision much easier.
Found furniture, like a puppy from the pound, are best when THEY choose YOU. Congratulations on the new chair, Kicky. (And I'll echo, edgar -- whatcha reading?)
Re: Welcome Home, Big Purple Sonofabitch
kickycan wrote:What kind of person takes furniture from other people's garbage?
Save from an Ikea cupboard or two and a gloriously over-the-top, expensive wine-red velvety couch with little golden-coloured lions feet that I bought once with a then-girlfriend, my Dutch apartment was almost entirely furnished with stuff that friends had stalled at my place; that I'd kept of my mothers' inventory; or that I found on the street. Some good stuff I found.
Much happiness with your big comfy purple adoptee
Doesn't everyone take home stray furniture? It's like a town sport here in Cambridge.
Glad to see I'm not the only one!
I'm reading a horror novel called Dead Man's Song. Nothing special, but it's got some decent scares in it. I'm getting in the Halloween spirit a little early.
It's a sport in Madison too. I think it's a sport in most college towns, as the students recycle and recycle. (Can't take all their furniture back home for the summer, or combine households, or...)
It's great when you find a good one!
My latest off-the-street find is a solid but peely wooden bench. I have it outside on the deck, where it's getting peelier, and have vague plans to strip it (at least the most egregious peely stuff) and repaint it. Meanwhile, it's the only seating out there, and remains solid.
I love hard rubbish collection day.
Once a year the town council have a hard rubbish collection. People put out stuff that is too big for the rubbish bin like fridges (has to have the door latch off) or furniture aor pices of wood or steel.
I cruise he streets of our town and pick up really good stuff.
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/205/506784690_8271d7369d.jpg?v=0
Aren't ya'll afraid of bedbugs or lice? Rats?
We've taken in and put out a lot of things in Madison.
Almost everything you put out gets taken away, even if you think it's busted to hell and was crap to begin with. Funny thing was, when we moved last summer, we put out a couple of rugs we'd taken as hand-me-downs from the missus's mother, and they just sat there until trash day -- funny because these were $1500 rugs that hadn't even been pissed on. Ugly as hell, though, if you ask me, which is why I put 'em out. I wouldn't take a hundred of them for the love seat I lugged four blocks home and has lived on our porch at our last three homes.
dadpad wrote:I love hard rubbish collection day.
Once a year the town council have a hard rubbish collection. People put out stuff that is too big for the rubbish bin like fridges (has to have the door latch off) or furniture aor pices of wood or steel.
Here in Budapest it's a big deal. Every neighbourhood has a "big trash" day, once a month, or perhaps once every two or three months - regular enough, anyway. Dates are different for every district, it's a rotating thing.
When the big trash comes out, so does business. People milling about going through everything. But not quite in the comradely, easy-going way that students and Turkish families rummage through the things on the street on big trash days in Holland. It's a more serious thing. I've seen a Roma families with a van, loading up. Saw a young man balancing things on a small trailer, for behind the car or to push back home by hand to a more outlying district. Seen old men pushing these carrier handcarts down the street, rag-and-bone men of the kind that went extinct in Holland about when I was born. The cars swerving around them, in an echo of images of Delhi or Abidjan traffic.
The stuff itself is low-quality compared with what you find on the street in Holland. I've never seen anything I'd remotely think of taking home, and I'm not overly critical. But it's business: informal fights are waged over them, rumours of threats and stand-offs between different groups staking their claims.
Ah, you found a stray chair, Kicky. (That's what I call 'em.)
Just make sure it doesn't have fleas.
Still like it Kicky?
Still comfortable?
I've been putting stuff out lately in the downstairs carpark here, where the bins are...it's gonna be weird when I happen to see my stuff in someone's apartment.
It's mainly been artwork and cushions and stuff that doesn't really fit in here.
Still like it. Still comfortable. Actually, yesterday, while I was reading I unintentionally took my first nap on Big Purple Sonofabitch. I was reading, and then the next thing I knew it was two hours later, my book was on my lap and my cheek was covered in drool. Excellent nap. She's a good chair, she is. I think I'll keep her.
I think the chair is taking possession of your soul.
Like in "Christine"
Soon you'll be tricking it out with antimacassars and going on quests in the middle of the night because it's telling you it needs a matching ottoman.
God forbid anyone else ever sit in it.
Has it told you her name yet?
From the title I was thinking maybe you had gotten something else.
(I really need to clean up my mind.)
You should put wheels on it and a leash, and walk it (roll it) daily.
<lights candles, puts on soft music. Sets down glass of red wine, and drops languidly into the arms of new burgundy-cushioned sweetheart. Begins to tenderly stroke the smooth arm of the chair.>
Aaah, Big Purple Sonofabitch...I adore you...what's that, Big Purple Sonofabitch? ...Oh, you're just saying that...<laughs coyly>...yes, yes, my sweet...who? Chai? Oh, I feel the same...don't worry, I won't let that happen...yes, of course I will...soon, soon...and then it will be the three of us here, together finally...forever...
<closes eyes and continues to stroke Big Purple Sonofabitch's arm, smiling contentedly...>
I just love a good boy-meets-chair story.
Next: "The Big Purple Rash"
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