I just need a little support, sympathy

Sounds as though you've had a very tough time of it. I'm sorry that life has been so hard for you.

Are you receiving help/therapy now, drews? Or perhaps you have in the past?

I was just wondering: where would you like your life to go from here? Any particular goals that you particularly cherish? Big or small, it doesn't matter. You never know, you might be able to move on from here to something much more positive. I hope so.

Keep talking.

I have received therapy in the past, and might in the future.

As for goals: I guess i'll just earn a degree outside of class (like, online?).

One thing I'd like to hear from posters is what your post-college years were like.

Did you find the therapy helped you? Are you still in therapy now?

I was wondering about the possibility of a degree: any particular field/s of study/work that really interest you? I'm sorry, I don't know all that much about what is achievable online, but I know others here do.
You live in the US?

The therapy didn't do much- basically, besides saying he 'understands your pain' and listening to you tell your sob story and giving you meds (all of which my past therapists did), what else can a therapist do? Honestly, it seems as if my pain just had/has to die over time- that seems to be the solution.

As for what degree I want: physics?

Physics!
Wow! Tell an absolute ignoramus more! :wink:


So you've given up on therapy? A shame, as things sound pretty difficult for you, still. I thought good therapists could offer considerably more than "tea & sympathy". Though I'm hardly an expert in this area. From the little you've said on this thread, it sounds as though you're still in quite a bit of pain getting over what happened to you.
Could I ask:how old are you?

drews ~ first of all some ((hugs))

Now, some truth, as I know it. It sounds like you're among the walking wounded of this earth. You are not alone, and as you travel through life you'll find that everyone has a story. Some will be better than yours, some will be worse. Most people have isolated and buried their pain, which is why you can't see it readily, but it's there and you are not alone in it.

Finishing university will not be the key to love and understanding, but it can give you scope for your abilities, which leads to satisfaction and self-worth, and - best of all - will give your mind the discipline needed to tackle problems. It is not an end goal but a starting point, and it's well worth the effort. I know because I've been there.

One thing that strikes me from your post is the danger of anger. It is a trap. It can feel liberating and empowering when you're in a full-blown rage, but like any uncontrolled intoxicant it feeds on you and will ultimately destroy you. I know because I've been there.

If you can let go of the anger (and maybe you already have done so) you'll be so much better off. And then you can join in a community -- of friends, or university, or colleagues, whatever. I sense that isolation is not the best thing for you. I know because I've been there, too.

(When I say "I know because I've been there", I mean in principle. The details are different, because I haven't lived your life nor you mine, but the principles are the same.)

I think, based on the limited information of your post and the limitations of on-line communication, that it might be better for you to attend a 3-dimensional real-life university, if it's possible. If not, do something to get out among people. For example, one of the things that helped me immensely was to volunteer at a local food bank. The rewards of doing something good and constructive, of joining others doing the same thing, are huge - to you.

Be kind to yourself.

Drews--

Welcome to A2K.

Very briefly: You must choose to let go of your cherished pain and replace it with something else.

Before you scroll right on down to more sympathetic approaches, consider whether or not your pain leaves any room for other emotions or activities in your life.

Being in misery (which you know all about) could be more comfortable than getting out in the world and risking hurt while investigating a more satisfactory life.

Therapists can't help you get over pain--you have to choose to move beyond pain.

Good luck.