Hate is such a strong word.

Not necessarily, Marty.

If you hate something, like Brussel sprouts, you first have to taste it
(experience) otherwise you have no knowledge of it.

How can you hate a person without having knowledge of this person,
or experienced similar behavior already?

Hate is a too strong emotion anyway, for me at least. I can honestly
dislike someone or something, but I tend to ignore then as it becomes
unimportant for me to bother.

Hate is such an alive emotion, that occupys more time and energy than
the person or thing deserves.

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Brussel sprouts, that reminds me of a cute thing my daughter did when she was about 5. I made peas at dinner and she expressed that she hated peas. I said" How can you say that, you've never tried them." She said" they'll make me gag", so I said" Take a no thank you bite", so she did and immediately gagged.
I never made her eat peas again.

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I have tried anchovies and avocadoes and I can honestly say that I hate both Shocked

You're right Marty, hate is a very strong work, which I don't use often at all and when I do use the word, it's usually to describe how much I hate to do certain things and things of that nature.

It's very very rare that I'll say I hate someone, though.

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Hate is a by product of fear, marty. As for things that we eat, I can understand the reference to certain things, but usually, it's an over statement.

I enjoy anchovies in a Caesar salad and on pizza.

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I can understand an objection to expressing hate for people but I don't really get what's wrong with the word. Sozlet's school discourages its use, which I think is dumb. Just in general, not only when directed at people. I noticed she was using the word more at home ("I just *hate* it when I stub my toe!!") and then giving me little looks, like, is that OK? That's when it came out that even such incidental uses were discouraged at school. I don't see the point of that.

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I agree Soz. That's way over the top, in my opinion.

I could see if they were talking about hating people, but that's about it.

Saying "I hate traffic" is so much easier than say "I don't like traffic" and it doesn't make any difference in my eyes.

The schools can really push it sometimes!

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I guess I was referring more to hating people or a nationality of people. As in the I hate Italians thread.

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I don't think it's official policy -- it was just her kindergarten teacher, who was new, and who was very sweet and wonderful overall. She had some word hang-ups, though -- that and making up a weird word for "butt" so she didn't have to say "butt" (or "bottom," either). I also think sozlet may have over-interpreted -- that is, a classmate may have been reprimanded for using "hate" in a more objectionable way and she generalized from there.

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God, i hate it when that happens.

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I don't know why but I just can't hate. At most, I dislike...

I never use the word.

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martybarker wrote:

I guess I was referring more to hating people or a nationality of people. As in the I hate Italians thread.

I figured you were mainly refering to people and it's a very very rare occation where you'd hear me say I hate someone. That is powerful!

I do hate it when people piss me off, though Laughing

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My 7 year old niece was swinging her 13 year old brother in a hammock the other day. She was giggling as he feigned fear saying "stop, I can't take no more. Just kids being kids. Dad comes out of the house and gently admonished the 7 year old for not obeying the stop command. "That's not a word we play with." Then he admonished the 13 year old for using it in jest in the first place. Meanwhile; my surprise turned to awe (Both kids are likely developing subconscious catch points at the word stop. Damn good idea if you ask me). Maybe the teach was trying to do something similar with the word hate.

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In my opinion, there are things to be said to children that are quite all right when coming from the parents, but not when it comes from teachers.

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I have a couple disagreements with the themes in this discussion.

First of all-- I don't think that banning the word hate is a good idea at all.

Words mean different things in different contexts. People understand this from a very early age.

I don't see anything wrong with using the word "hate" (or any other word) in a joking context where both people involved understand the meaning. I don't see anything wrong with saying "I hate liver" (which is certainly true), "I hate Microsoft" (which I say regularly at work and everyone understands) or "I hate Republicans" (which expresses a political thought and an level of frustration even though I have friends who self-identify as Republican).

Second of all-- Hate is a part of life and is as least as important as love. As a society we have the need to punish criminals harshly... and to fight wars where we kill enemies. There are certainly people who we feel deserve bad things happening to them.

Hate is a motivating factor-- and like any other emotion that motivates us, it is neither bad nor good in itself.

Teaching kids they shouldn't use the word "hate" is teaching them to limit self expression and refrain from communicating their emotions.

Teaching kids that they should never hate is unrealistic at best.

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I really liked Dennis Miller's use of the word hate when he was complaining about how commercialized suicide bombing has become (with cameras and what not); "What happened to the good ole days when terrorists killed themselves just for the love of the hate?"

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ebrown_p wrote:

I have a couple disagreements with the themes in this discussion.

First of all-- I don't think that banning the word hate is a good idea at all.

Words mean different things in different contexts. People understand this from a very early age.

I don't see anything wrong with using the word "hate" (or any other word) in a joking context where both people involved understand the meaning. I don't see anything wrong with saying "I hate liver" (which is certainly true), "I hate Microsoft" (which I say regularly at work and everyone understands) or "I hate Republicans" (which expresses a political thought and an level of frustration even though I have friends who self-identify as Republican).

Second of all-- Hate is a part of life and is as least as important as love. As a society we have the need to punish criminals harshly... and to fight wars where we kill enemies. There are certainly people who we feel deserve bad things happening to them.

Hate is a motivating factor-- and like any other emotion that motivates us, it is neither bad nor good in itself.

Teaching kids they shouldn't use the word "hate" is teaching them to limit self expression and refrain from communicating their emotions.

Teaching kids that they should never hate is unrealistic at best.

I couldn't agree more, ebrown! You just expressed it much better than I would have.

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ebrown wrote: Teaching kids they shouldn't use the word "hate" is teaching them to limit self expression and refrain from communicating their emotions.

This is what bothers me the most about it. If a child is taught to keep their emotions to themselves, I believe they'll become bitter people with all this pent up rage, where eventually all these held in emotions will surface. Shocked

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Aw, that's a nice story, Bill. 'Specially since I know the dad in question. :-)

To clarify, I think the teacher goofed IF there was some sort of ban on using the word "hate," but it's not clear to me that anything like that actually happened. (Sozlet is a Good Girl and is sometimes overzealous in that quest, it could have started with the teacher just frowning a bit when another kid used the word, I dunno). But even if the teacher did in fact goof I think it was a minor goof and I hesitate to bring this into "schools are so bad" territory. She was an excellent teacher overall and sozlet loves school and can't wait to go back. Whatever messages sozlet got about using the word "hate" were effectively counteracted by the discussion we had when I asked what was up with her hesitation. (In a nutshell -- it can be very hurtful so be careful with it, but there's nothing wrong with the word itself.)

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I agree Soz. It's not that big a deal. Just bugs me!

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Hate is such a strong word.

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