Let's get acquainted My name is Tomas!

I wish i were high.

My name is not Tomas.

Welcome to the Monkey House.

Get lost, buddy.

You too, Tomas.

Pay them no mind, Tomas. Welcome to A2K from the resident Slovak.

Tomas, welcome to A2k. I'm guessing, but are you Hispanic?

I think he's one of those dirty communists.

Gus . . . you old charm school drop-out . . . eat sh*t and die, 'K?

Yes, I will have some of that ****. Death is forthcoming?

No. That's Gertrude.

Welcome Thomas :-D

Don't mind them. They're just being their usual silly selves

Imagine that.

Oi! Thomas! Line up over here, get busy! This is no place for the lazy bums I tell you - first things first! Name, address, location! Are you or have you ever been American? Does your name mean what I think it means? Have you got a drivers license? Where were you on the night of August 12? Any year? Are you concealing weapons or drugs? Do you like Newt Gingrich? What is your opinion on fried calamari? Are you up to the job of shoveling **** 12 hours a day? Do you realise we pay minimum wage, at most? Have you drunk the Koolaid? At-tenshun! Order in the court! Dont bogart that joint. What do you think coming in here looking like that! And.. march! One two one two. Can you balance a pencil on your nose? Do you know the difference between Slovakia, Slovenia and Slavonia? Do you know what a Tuvan is? And.. turn! How many sit-ups can you do? Do you listen to any of that rockmusic? Hut!

Ew. I'll never eat fried calamari again, after reading the "Guts" story on the gross thread.

Welcome Tomas, and as I'm feeling very generous at the moment, I'll take this opportunity to pass on this handy tip. Believe me, it works wonders.

If you like to make love to music, make sure you play a live album, as that way you'll be sure to receive loud applause every three minutes.