Fist fights as foreplay?

Well, in the UK a bride was fined for similar

Makeup sex.

Any man who beats a woman is a coward -- unless she's stronger and tougher than him. In that case he's brave.

If the question is
Is it possible?
then my answer would be YES!
More disturbing things seem to be possible!

If the question is
Can I imagine doing it?
then my answer is not No, but HELL NO!

I'm a pillow fight girl myself.....


However, if you wanted me to get all technical about angry fist fight "foreplay" I could.


But, yes, it is possible.

Ok, ok, bunny, I surrender!

Francis - like these Apache Dancers?

Now THAT's foreplay!

They are history, I've nothing to do with them.

I use my fists in much softer ways....

I think pretty much anything is possible as foreplay (or duringplay) and as long as it's truly consensual I don't think I mind. If there are significant injuries I might mind enough to be shaken out of my "consenting adults can do what they want in the privacy of their bedroom" default stance.

that was a joke francis.

In fact, I'd always wondered where the term apache dance came from.

according to where I clipped this picture...when this style of dancing was first persented, someone said it reminded them of a bunch of wild indians.

On the few times I've seen this style of dance on TV, I thought it looked very exciting.

I just had a flashback to a police procedural of some kind (on "Mystery!", maybe, I have a vague idea that it was British but I'm not sure) where the case hinged on the fact that a certain husband was evidently beating his wife. When that fact (and the fact that they lied about it) was about to get them in trouble, they abashedly showed up at the police station and admitted that they do it to each other and it makes 'em both hot. Shot the case to pieces, and the policeperson was appalled.

Well, the site you took the picture from is a good read:

"The fury of a riotous incident between two men and a women rose to the ferocity of savage Apache Indians in battle"

They did it fairly well in Mr and Mrs Smith.



Hot sex. Oh yeah.

Yes.

Violent rapists don't simply want to humiliate the woman--they want to increase their own pleasure.

According to a confidence I received from a contemporary back in the '70's, at least one white, middle-class, "respectable" man used to slap his wife around and then initiate sex. He couldn't help it. "She made him so horney."

Violence and sex can be very close bedfellows.

I think the initial post referred to both parties engaged in a fistfight as foreplay, not a man beating up on a woman or vice versa, correct?

I can see men, gay men, getting into that kind of thing. Only because the playing field is more level with two guys going at it rather than a girl and a guy.

Hmmmm.....

Okay here's the story. In order to keep it shortish it might be a bit choppy...

I have a friend/neighbor who several years ago suffered a traumatic brain injury. She has "recovered" but she doesn't have the usual social barriers that most of us have. I once saw her react swiftly and violently against someone with little provocation. In fact, this is how I really came to know her. I had seen her around the neighborhood before and we had spoken a few times when one day in the park I saw her tackle a woman.

When it happened I was on the other side of the park and didn't know it was her until the police came and dragged her to the other side of the park and left her crying under a tree while they attended to the other woman. That was when I recognized her and went over to make sure she was okay.

In the year since then Ms. Barrierless and I have become friends and I have heard about her volitile relationship -- the mutual, occassional hitting that goes on and the always terrific, frequent sex she and her husband enjoy. I know that she dishes it out as well as takes it, perhaps doing more than her share of the dishing.

To her this is just a matter of fact of her relationship. She never complains about abuse and I have never seen her bruised or banged up. (I don't know her husband nearly as well so I don't know that side of the story.) I have just always assumed that this fist fighting was their form of foreplay and never really commented on it to her.

Then yesterday....

I was talking to another neighbor/friend, "Laura", and she said "Isn't "Ruth" a friend of yours?" and I said that she was. She told me that her teenage son ran home the other day saying that Ruth was being beaten up in the front yard. Son reported that "Ben", Ruth's husband was punching her in the face. Laura grabbed a phone and ran outside with the idea to stop the fight/call the police/do something. By the time she got there the couple was sitting on the porch talking. Laura was completely freaked out. Her son is TOTALLY freaked out.

Sooo.....

There really isn't an imbalance of power physical-wise, between Ben and Ruth but there is an imbalance of power other-wise: she has a brain injury, she is not yet a US citizen (no, they didn't marry to make her a citizen but seem to really be in love).

I just don't know if I should say something - or just go on assuming that they both enjoy the fist fights and mind my own business.

I just don't know.

Oooh.

Fist-fighting on their front lawn is out of "privacy of their own bedroom" territory for exactly that reason -- it traumatized a kid who happened to see.

What to DO about it, though... (or whether to do anything...)

I'm here just for a minute, will think on it and respond more later.

I'm back... (thing didn't take as much time as I expected it to).

Will Laura be doing anything?

I think her and her son's freaked-out-ness lends the most authority to deal with it with Ruth directly, unless you have been asked to help out with that and you want to.

If that's the case, I guess I'd approach it something like, "So what happened the other day?" See what she has to say. If her reply is all about foreplay/ sex maybe say something like, "Ya know, Laura said her son was really freaked out. There are a lot of kids in this neighborhood, and they can't really be expected to understand this kind of thing. Don't you think it would be a good idea to keep that inside? Even if you're fine with it, it's just too scary for the kids to see it."

If her reply ISN'T all about foreplay/ sex -- if there was some sort of abuse situation going on after all -- that's another kettle of fish, of course.