Wife wants to experiment with other woman!

You seem fairly calm about it. How long have you been married?

I'm not a professional, I'm just some other guy. But it would seem to me that even though people are married they can't help being individuals. I would be tempted to respect her privacy and let it run it's course.

Although the possibilities for complications and disaster are endless. I would watch from a distance. You are her safeguard but at the same time I don't think suppressing her is the answer either.

On the other hand maybe she planed for you to find the E-mail after all women are nuts.

You came to the right place. This is a very good site.

Yeah i guess i am relatively calm about it, ok, maybe just a little numb, we've got 2 kids under 5, married for 6 years, and together for 12.

Just never thought I'd find myself in this situation, to be honest i'm inclined to respect her privacy but take notes.

I'm human too after all, but I know where to draw the line on this kinda stuff, i'm hoping she does too.

Brad145

" 2 kids under 5, married for 6 years, and together for 12. "

Ohh man! I feel for you brother. This may be something you might HAVE TOO talk to her about. Both her and your trust will be tested.


There are some pretty smart straight forward women that have been here for years that almost always have good sound advice. I wish they would show up because I have an interest in a similar situation

Re: Wife wants to experiment with other woman!
1) You discovered this through accidental means (not spying), so you don't have to hide the fact that you know.

2) Communication is important. No good will come from keeping this information to yourself. You need to take her aside, and explain how you discovered it by accident, and let her know your feelings...that you are confused, and want to talk about it..

I can not say that I support cheating in any way.

No matter if you want to put a fancy label on it like "experimenting"


it is still cheating.

And to bow to it, accept it and take notes, means you are ok with an open relationship (?) .
If that is so, then put that rule on the table and enjoy your open relationship. No reason why she should get all the fun and you dont.

Experimenting , is not something you do in a closed relationship.

Take out the fact that, a large number of people find the thought of two women sexy enough that they dont see it as anything 'wrong'
and lets change the scenario to a man , wanting to cheat on his wife with another man.
He calls this experimenting also

I dont think that situation would receive calm, happy responses.
in fact , people would more then likely pull the " you are gay" card and slant the conversation to him leaving her. ( just an assumption! )

Or

lets just say it is a man wanting to cheat on his wife.
People would then talk about how it is destroying the marriage, breaking the home, and betraying a wife's trust.

So why does that not apply here?

She is betraying you if she does it.

If she is just "writing emails" in hopes that you see them........
well......

thats kinda odd but, if you dont speak up, you will never know the difference.

but I absolutely understand your point of " she may cover her tracks more"
And if she is that determined, she will.

If she is that determined to cheat, there is a problem. And it may not stop at one 'experiment'


How opposed would you be to having someone else in your bedroom?

Are you comfortable enough that you would want to / or feel better if it happened in your home? With you maybe?
Or does it feel right to you to just let it go?

Man, these things get complicated quick.

well..

ok fine. Ill make it beer simple


cheating - no way
borrowing - no way
renting - no way


good porn - yes way

Better?

I would let her do it.

Am I crazy.

And no, I don't think it is the same as me sleeping with a man or a woman.

(pass me a beer)

Thanks for all the replies, I'm thinking I'm gonna let it ride for a few days and just see if it's an idle curiosity before i say anything (unless she gets a bite, then I'll have to act)

noooo

your not crazy, I think I get you.
But, it seems that it is OK for a woman to cheat, but in situations and other threads where the MAN is the cheater, no one is ok with that.

Sort of a double standard ya know?


why would you let her anyway?

Cool bananas,

Ask your wife if you can nail her new friend.

I don't think monogomy is totally true to our nature but I understand it's funtion. I can't be a woman for her. I am against suppresing natural desires as long as they don't harm anybody. Althoug it might be playing with fire like those movies "Eyes wide shut" or that movie with Woody Haroldson and Demi More

Through web history I can see what sites she went to and managed to access a personals account of hers. (1337 5k1LLz!) 3 messages sent to day, and 2 received, no numbers exchanged or dates arranged though.

I gotta get this out in the open tonight, one way or another.

Wish me luck, I'll let you know how it goes.

Brad

Luck!

Good idea.

Good news, she came to me and was honest with everything before i got around to confronting her. I played dumb, but made it pretty clear that i thought the fantasy was cool, but acting on it in real life = not a good idea.

So I'll be able to sleep at night knowing that i 'really can' trust my wife, and shes not wise to my being aware of her activities so she won't see a need to cover her tracks any more than she already was.

Life's good!

Thanks for everything, I might just hang around and troll the board a bit

Brad

Glad everything worked out.

Please do stick around, check out other areas of this forum.

(We love new blood!)