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Wed 7 Mar, 2007 08:54 pm
On my way home earlier I had to stop for gasoline and while inside the station I noticed some single slices of pizza for sale underneath one of those heating hoods.
They also had chicken strips and potato wedges. They looked edible and the aroma was appropriate for the items so, on impulse, I decided to purchase my supper right then and there. I had planned on stopping at a restaurant and I figured the time saved by dining at the gas station would give me more time back home to throw things at the cat.
I purchased a slice of the pizza (it appeared to be sausage) and a container of the chicken strips.
As I was driving down the road I bit into the pizza. I might as well had taken off my tennis shoe and sprinkled a little seasoning on it. Jesus Christ, that was some bad crap.
I tossed it out the window in hopes that a passing raccoon, later in the evening, would find the feast and dine in a manner befitting the animal kingdom.
Then I bet into the chicken strip. Oh....my....god!
Is there such a thing as liquid chicken? Once I penetrated the tough exterior crust I felt something and pulling the strip quickly from my mouth I noticed it was oozing a gelatinous milky-white substance. It was as if the chicken had liquefied.
Can that happen? I spit it out and started gagging. The little bit that had started working its way down my throat was firmly entrenched and the taste was so horrific that I thought I was going to start throwing up on the side of the road. By this time I had pulled over and was standing on the side of the road, trying to cough that chicken residue from my throat.
Cars whizzed by and a few people, recognizing me, gave me the finger.
I couldn't get the taste out of my mouth so I grabbed a gallon of windshield-washer fluid from the back of my truck and took a swallow.
You know, that stuff ain't half bad. Has an acidic taste, but in a nice way, like some garden vegetables I have eaten in the past.
So, I finished the bottle of washer fluid, (it was only half full to start with) wiped my mouth on the sleeve of my jacket, jumped back in the truck, and sped away, the taste of the gas station chicken now eliminated by the washer fluid.
That, my friends, is the last time I shall dine at a gas station.
Now, let us hear of your gas station dining experiences.
we used to stop at this place on the way back to NC from Roanoke Va right outside of Martinsville and get Dodger Dogs. They were these huge hot dogs and I'd slather mine in Ketchup Mustard relish and onions and get a huge family size bag of potato chips and a quart of chocolate milk. I was ALWAYS shit faced drunk by the time I got to this stage and I NEVER failed to puke from it a few hours later but holy shit I loved those Dodger Dogs.
I think being drunk is the key to gas station dining.
I should have stopped at the liquor store first.
gustavratzenhofer wrote:I think being drunk is the key to gas station dining.
I should have stopped at the liquor store first.
always happy to impart my wisdom... acquired through years of immature, health destroying and downright dangerous behavior. As I have mentioned before Iam always here for you Gus.
You are my mentor, Bear. That has already been established.
I was never tempted to eat their sorry excuse for edible food,
and never will.
Hardly ever, but I did buy a Krispy Kreme doughnut at a gas station when I missed getting off at any offramp in Phoenix a year or so ago and faced another bunch of miles to Tucson with dim hope of lunch/plus time constraint. Eh! I lived.
CalamityJane wrote:I was never tempted to eat their sorry excuse for edible food,
and never will.
If the gas station were to install some chandeliers and pipe in orchestral music, would you then entertain the possibility, Jane?
No, gustav!
You know, when I drove cross country from NY to CA I always stopped
and ate where the truck drivers went, and I sometimes was steak and
fries for breakfast - but hey it was very good.
ossobuco wrote:Hardly ever, but I did buy a Krispy Kreme doughnut at a gas station when I missed getting off at any offramp in Phoenix a year or so ago and faced another bunch of miles to Tucson with dim hope of lunch/plus time constraint. Eh! I lived.
I remember when Krispy Kreme was all the rage in this area, not having been around for many years and now being re-introduced, and people were actually lining up for blocks to buy the damned things.
At that point I had never had one and I wasn't about to join the line of morons waiting to eat a donut, so I waited until the craze had died down somewhat, and, one day, a friend of mine happened along with a box of the things and offered me one.
I ate it and was remarkably unimpressed. They taste like cookie dough or some such thing and I have not eaten one since.
....grrr, you were to fast. I wanted to edit my post.
it should read ..."it sometimes was steak......"
CalamityJane wrote:No, gustav!
You know, when I drove cross country from NY to CA I always stopped
and ate where the truck drivers went, and I sometimes was steak and
fries for breakfast - but hey it was very good.
Did you ever hook up with any of those truckers? You know what I mean -- crawl into one of those "sleepers" and entertain the troops?
C'mon, fess up. I won't tell anyone.
I once bought peanut butter on cheese crackers from a vending machine at a gas station in Iowa and lived to tell you about it. That would be over 30 years ago -- nothing since.
CalamityJane wrote:....grrr, you were to fast. I wanted to edit my post.
it should read ..."it sometimes was steak......"
Too late. You shall forevermore be know as "Steak".
hahhahahahahahahha
Tai Chi wrote:I once bought peanut butter on cheese crackers from a vending machine at a gas station in Iowa and lived to tell you about it. That would be over 30 years ago -- nothing since.
Doesn't anyone here, beside me and the Bear, like to live on the edge?
gustavratzenhofer wrote:CalamityJane wrote:No, gustav!
You know, when I drove cross country from NY to CA I always stopped
and ate where the truck drivers went, and I sometimes was steak and
fries for breakfast - but hey it was very good.
Did you ever hook up with any of those truckers? You know what I mean -- crawl into one of those "sleepers" and entertain the troops?
C'mon, fess up. I won't tell anyone.
No, I was on a different mission.
That's too bad. I was looking forward to the details.
I don't know what's worse: eating food from a gas station, or taking a dump in a gas station bathroom.
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