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Wait a minute, who's the dummy?

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First the news item:

Quote:

Unsavvy: In 2003, Bryn Mawr College student Janet Lee had apparently not watched enough movies or television to understand that drug smugglers often use condoms (swallowed by human "mules") to get cocaine and heroin into the country. Lee attempted to board an airliner with several flour-filled condoms that she said her classmates and she employed to squeeze as stress relievers and said she was astonished to be arrested at the Philadelphia airport and jailed for three weeks until the lab could verify that the substance was flour. In January 2007, the city of Philadelphia agreed to pay her $180,000 to settle her lawsuit for her wrongful detention. [WJZ-TV (Detroit)-AP, 1-3-07]

What a dope, right?

A fox should be so stupid. She gets $180,000 for spending three weeks in jail. Okay, so she had to wait 3 and half years for the dough, so what?

Joe(This gives me an idea. Let's see ...where's the flour?)Nation

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Wow! If I could spend six weeks in jail all of my problems would be solved!

Plus, I'd probably have time to finish this crazy book I'm reading.

And sit still for a bit.

And diet.

I'm in, Joe!

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Re: Wait a minute, who's the dummy?

Joe Nation wrote:

Joe(This gives me an idea. Let's see ...where's the flour?)Nation

Laughing

Hmmmmm ...? <thinking, thinking in Oz>

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fill a condom with water and watch it be called liquid LSD

You could say you wanted to use it as a hot water bottle.. Laughing

Laughing

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boomerang wrote:

Wow! If I could spend six weeks in jail all of my problems would be solved!

Plus, I'd probably have time to finish this crazy book I'm reading.

And sit still for a bit.

And diet.

I'm in, Joe!

You ever been to a prison?

The food is carbs, gristle, sugar and fat, the society is as likely to rip your head off as look at you, and they'd not allow the book in in case it concealed contraband.

You'd have to borrow a Mills and Boon from the prison library.

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I spent a few hours in the Tulsa, Oklahoma jail once upon a time and it was enough to make me walk the straight and narrow for the rest of my life.

I did meet some very memorable people there, though. I remember them nearly 30 years later.

Still, for $400,000 I do six weeks.

But what's a Mills and Boon?

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boomerang wrote:

But what's a Mills and Boon?

Think Harlequin Romance, Boomerang.

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dlowan wrote:

You ever been to a prison?

The food is carbs, gristle, sugar and fat, the society is as likely to rip your head off as look at you, and they'd not allow the book in in case it concealed contraband.

You'd have to borrow a Mills and Boon from the prison library.

You've been in prison, dlowan? Do share your stories.

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Mr. B has spent a day or two in jail* and I just asked him if he would spend six weeks there for $400,000 and he said....

"Are you kidding me?"

"Absofuckingloutely."

*I love this story: I was living in Galveston and he was living in Chicago and a hurricane was blowing in on the gulf. He got in his car and started driving to Texas to help me and my family and he was arrested for looking "scruffy" in east St. Louis. They took his car apart -- took the seats out and the door panels off, really dismantled the car, looking for drugs. Then they let him go and he drove down to Galveston, boarded up my house and my families house and went to Austin with us for a weekend of bowling and wine drinking.

I married him a few years later, of course.

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Where were the drugs hidden?

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I was showing my later to be husband a great street with wonderful sycamore trees on our way from my mother's house, which I'd been fixing up to rent out and my scroungy studio in Venice. My then car was an Earl Sheib (19.95!!!) painted VW bus. Nothin' in the back but dog hair. But yeah, we were stopped for total twosome Tackiness...

I later designed a garden on that street, 'nother story.

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Reflecting, it worked out that we were pale.

My hub was from south LA, right near where a couple of riots/unrests took place...

Anyway, I'm still hoping to avoid jail.

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gustavratzenhofer wrote:

Where were the drugs hidden?

In his condom filled intestines.

Duh.

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Duh indeed.

An old drug smuggler such a myself had no reason to ask such a question.

The answer was obvious.

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gustavratzenhofer wrote:

dlowan wrote:
You ever been to a prison?

The food is carbs, gristle, sugar and fat, the society is as likely to rip your head off as look at you, and they'd not allow the book in in case it concealed contraband.

You'd have to borrow a Mills and Boon from the prison library.

You've been in prison, dlowan? Do share your stories.

I have many, many stories.....most of them probably not fit for a nice site like this.

But sadly, Gus, I have not so much been IN prison, as INTO prisons, as part of two of my previous jobs.

Sorry, as I know this will be a source of disappointment to you.

:wink:

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I suspected as much. Thanks for enlightening me however.

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I've been to jail, hated it, and would happily return at $60,000 per week. Even accounting for OT, that still comes to just shy of $250 an hour, 24/7. Works for me. Let's rock Joe!

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Bill, you are a man of little principle.

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I think we should all plan to be in the same jail together then we can form our own gang. Gus can be the hardass, I'll be the brain and, based only on his recent avatar, Occombill will be our candyboy.

Joe(I promise not to sell him for cigarettes*)Nation

Okay, not less than two cartons of cigarettes

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Joe, that's completely unrealistic.

OCCOM(You can't get cigarettes in jail anymore)BILL

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