Shiit happens

€ Taoism: Shit happens.
€ Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens."
€ Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
€ Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not.
€ Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of shit happening?
€ Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
€ Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
€ Islam #2: If shit happens, kill the person responsible.
€ Islam #3: If shit happens, blame Israel.
€ Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
€ Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
€ Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen.
€ Episcopalian: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you
serve the right wine with it.
€ Methodist: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve
grape juice with it.
€ Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as
good as shit that happens to another.
€ Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit
that happens to another.
€ Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it.
€ Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you
are born again. (Amen!)
€ Fundamentalism #2: If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
€ Fundamentalism #3: Shit must be born again.
€ Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
€ Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work.
€ Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on Saturday.
€ Creationism: God made all shit.
€ Secular Humanism: Shit evolves.
€ Christian Science: When shit happens, don't call a doctor - pray!
€ Christian Science #2: Shit happening is all in your mind.
€ Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit.
€ Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit.
€ Utopianism: This shit does not stink.
€ Darwinism: This shit was once food.
€ Capitalism: That's MY shit.
€ Communism: It's everybody's shit.
€ Feminism: Men are shit.
€ Chauvinism: We may be shit, but you can't live without us...
€ Commercialism: Let's package this shit.
€ Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
€ Idolism: Let's bronze this shit.
€ Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen; shit IS.
€ Existentialism #2: What is shit, anyway?
€ Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
€ Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening!
€ Mormonism: God sent us this shit.
€ Mormonism #2: This shit is going to happen again.
€ Wiccan: An it harm none, let shit happen.
€ Scientology: If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
€ Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< Shit happens.
€ Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our shit?
€ Jehovah's Witnesses #3: Shit has been prophesied and is imminent;
only the righteous shall survive its happening.
€ Moonies: Only really happy shit happens.
€ Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama.
€ Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!
€ Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half on the time.
€ Church of SubGenius: BoB shits.
€ Practical: Deal with shit one day at a time.
€ Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
€ Agnostic #2: Did someone shit?
€ Agnostic #3: What is this shit?
€ Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
€ Atheism: What shit?
€ Atheism #2: I can't believe this shit!
€ Nihilism: No shit.