Has Oprah Gone Too Far? Traumatized Kids & TV

I think that, before we say anything about those shows like Oprah - whose existence depends on titillation, we should ask about the news "journalism" that shoves a microphone in the face of traumatized victims, sometimes minutes after the trauma.

Oh, I agree with you on that, Snood. I think that there are a lot of ghouls in journalism.

With this particular issue, it is about kids who have been traumatized, badly. I really don't know what was in the parents' heads when they came on TV, and in the case of the older boy, allowed him to be seen by the entire country.

In an age where peples's dirty underwear and vilest habits are daily fare, I can see why they think Oprah's show was all right. Personally, I would have demanded complete privacy for my son and family.

That's what bothers me. Why the hell would the parents even WANT to be on that show? I know that they wanted to thank the officers who found the kids. I also know that the parents of the younger boy wanted to thank the neighbor who spotted the van. But now? Wouldn't there have been a more private way of honoring those people, without splashing the story all over the country?

Where are these parents' priorities???

I saw that show. It was heartbreaking. I felt guilty even watching but still I watched.

I asked myself the same questions of "why" and came to the conclusion that the family was probably being hounded by the media and felt that if they made an appearance (in a controlled environment) that maybe some of the furor would die down and they could have some peace.

Both families seem to be getting good advice. I can't imagine that they would appear on Oprah recklessly.

I really wish they had talked to the FBI guy more -- especially about how to drill the message into your kids about how they need to tell you things and about how to stay safe.

I thought it was pretty tacky. Wonder how much money was involved?

I don't think that any amount of money could compensate those kids, especially the older boy. Now that you mentioned money though, it seems to me that both kids would need intensive therapy with a top professional. The older boy would probably have to be "on the couch" for years. And that costs.

It is possible that if they were paid, that the money would be used to rehabilitate the boys. I sincerely hope so.

I think that's the way it goes. And that's the rationale mostly used in situations like this. These sad people sell their souls to the media for much-needed cash to pay for hospital bills, lawyers fees, etc.

I don't know where the families would get a top notch professional, living in some little town in Missouri. I think that the older boy especially, needs to go to one of the "big guns", some expert on kidnapped and sexually abused children, and not some local shrink.

Just looking at that boy made me shudder. I would be very surprised if he were not suffering from some level of post traumatic stress disorder.

I didn't see the show in question

Quite possibly one of the Big Gun Professinals advising the family of the 15-year-old urged them to allow their son to make his own choices as a way of counteracting the years of helplessness.

Quite possibly the 15-year-old visualized being a TV Star rather than a subject for questioning.

I'm not a Big Gun Professional, but I had some training from a local Rape Crisis Council on preventing trauma in abused and exploited women and children.

Some professionals feel that as much trauma can inflicted by the friends and the family of the victim as by the original abuser.

Suppose a kid in a Rest Room has been grabbed in the crotch by a Weenie Wagger in full performance and the fun and games are interrupted by a passer by

Now, if the kid's family goes around anouncing, "You're ruined. You're ruined. Why didn't you run? Why did he pick you?" the kid is going to experience lots of secondary trauma.

If the kid's family says, "Weren't we all lucky that the Passer By passed by? My goodness, that Weenie Wagger is a creepy man. Weren't you smart not to hit him--he's so much bigger than you are. We're so upset that he'd try to upset you--we just love you so much."

Granted a five minute encounter in a public rest room is not the same as four years of abduction, but the basic underlying principles are the same.

As for the whole tangle between public and private life: those boundaries are in acceleration transition and the subject deserves its own thread.

Besides concern for the children in this case, I have some concerns re media exposure... and eventual prosecution, re picking jury, etc.