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Wed 18 Jun, 2003 02:34 pm
At one time all adoptions were "sealed". The adopting parents did not know--and were discouraged from meeting--the birth mother. The birth mother had no contact with her child.
These days, more and more adoptions are "open". The birth mother remains part of her child's life, although the degree of involvement depends on the people involved.
This article provides some particulars:
http://www.mcall.com/features/all-openadoptionjun16.story
Do you think Open Adoption is a good idea--or just a trendy and possibly destructive fad?
This can be a two-edged sword. A friend of mine gave up her baby for adoption, but it was an open adoption. The adopting parents live about 200 miles from my friend, and they see each other on a semi-regular basis. From what I know they're all better off.
On the other hand, a different friend had a baby out of wedlock 27 years ago. About six months ago, the young lady found my friend, after doing some research through the internet, etc. My friend had expressed in the past that she hoped the girl would never "show up on her doorstep." My friend did go visit her biological daughter and enjoyed it, but doesn't act like she wants to pursue it. However, the daughter sent my friend flowers for Mother's Day and writes to her fairly regularly. My friend is in a quandary - not wanting to be rude or thought of as not caring, but not really wanting to stay in touch either.
I think if all parties agree, the adoption should be open. But I do think the biological parents' medical information should be provided for the adopting family.
soozoo- I absolutely agree that open adoption can be a two edged sword. But I do think that if all parties are agreeable, it IS an option.
If the adoptive parents are not willing to pursue a relationship, there ought to be some information in the child's file (medical information, family illnesses, that the child can access when he/she becomes an adult. Also, if the birth mother wants contact by the adult child, it could be in the file, so that the adoptee would not have to jump through hoops in order to find the mother.
There are so many different contingencies, and there needs to be protocols for handling each of them. To me there would be nothing more tragic than an adopted child finding the birth mother, only to find out that the mother has no interest in the child!
More and more lately, I'm running into the notion that an adopted child has an inalienable RIGHT to know the birth family.
Frequently "medical history" is cited.
Can anyone come up with an inherited medical condition that could be prevented by knowledge of a mother's or father's health? Everyone has the same basic advice for preventing cancer and heart disease.
Years ago, women put their babies up for adoption severing any connection with the child.
Yes, I child has a "right" to go searching for birth parents--and birth parents have the "right" not to develop a relationship with that adult child.
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