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Sat 21 Oct, 2006 12:51 pm
I went for Japanese food for lunch on the way back from my vet in Boston (Ginza is my favorite local japanese restaurant). I ordered to go and sat to wait. The man at the bar/entrance/register asked if I wanted a drink (he saw me looking at the sake taps). I said yes to a sake. But, just a little. He poured me one very mild cold sake on the house. He asked if I drank sake much and we started talking about the brew. He poured me another sake for contrast. Interesting.
But, at the bar a couple seats down from me was another Japanese man. He was gorgeous. He was drawing a floor plan (looked like for a restaurant) and had appliance manuals at hand. We both sort of eyed eachother when the other wasn't looking.
I can't flirt. It just doesn't come naturally. What could I have said to get him talking?
I don't flirt well either. Clunk, trip, splat, oof!
But, you could have asked if he is a designer or architect...
Yeah... "can I ask what you're drawing there...? Is that a floorplan for a restaurant, or...?"
I thought about bringing him into the sake conversation, somehow. Or asking about the drawing. But, and here's why I don't flirt, I felt asking him about the drawing would be prying.
That's why I have all those question marks and ellipses -- telegraph the "I don't mean to pry, but I'm interested" part. Gives him an easy out if he wants to be left alone.
Wants to be left alone*:
Uh, yeah, a restaurant. <quick polite smile, goes back to what he's doing>
Interested:
Hey, good eye! Yeah, it's a restaurant. <talks about it for a while, at some point starts pointing to various features in a way that only makes sense for you to go up and get a closer look>
*Or shy. That's the problem.
hmmm.... I could maybe do that.... maybe.
Well, start with hello. You'd be amazed at how that can begin a conversation!
Then ask him what he's doing. Everyone loves to talk about themselves. Act fascinated. Act like he's the most rivetting thing in the room.
You don't need to bat your baby blues and drop your handkerchief to flirt.
In fact, women who too obviously flirt kind of skeeve me out because it seems just phony.
Just one man's opinion...
Oh yeah! Hello! Why didn't I think of that? Hmmm, perhaps because I'm a scairdy-cat.
> sits down quietly, takes out note pad and pen <
1. "Hello"
2. "Is that a ____?"
3. ?
Quote:I thought about bringing him into the sake conversation, somehow.
How about, "Want some sake?" Umm....I stink at this stuff too....
Hello (with a smile) invariably works.
Re: Give Me a Flirting Tutorial
littlek wrote:I can't flirt. It just doesn't come naturally. What could I have said to get him talking?
He was working on a floor plan?
Geeze--that was so simple:
I'm drawn to architects.
I'm sure you have plans, but you could change them for me, couldn't you?
Oooh . . . designers just floor me.
Lines like that are a dime a dozen . . .
snort!!
I'm back on agreeing with Tico.. whose post I can't see right this second.
Stop thinking of it as flirting and start thinking of it as getting to know someone. Most people are happy to talk about their careers or interests. Most people will be flattered that you even asked. Just be polite and ask general questions. Questions that ask permission like: "May I ask what you are drawing? Followed by a positive statment: "It looks interesting." -are neither threatening or overly bold. You will know by his response and body language if he is open to more conversation or if he would prefer to be left alone.
You should have taken the beer bottle and started seductively licking the top, while staring at the gentleman in question. I've had women do that to me in bars and, believe me, it is a real conversation starter.
I guess I'm afraid I wouldn't have anything to say.
littlek wrote:I guess I'm afraid I wouldn't have anything to say.
Maybe your sig line says more about you than you realize.
Hello I'd like to flirt with you but I'm afraid I wouldnt know what to say.
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