@Region Philbis,
If you fall, you will C sharp pain.
@Region Philbis,
I'm always grateful for the Earth's rotation.
It really makes my day.
@DrewDad,
Why does Sally keep falling off the swing?
She hasn't got any hands.
Knock knock
Who's there?
Not Sally.
Little Larry attended a horse auction with his father.
He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running
his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest.
After a few minutes, Larry asked, 'Dad, why are you doing that?'
His father replied, 'Because when I'm buying horses, I have to
make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy.'
Larry, looking worried, said, 'Dad!! .I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom...'
***
I didn't go back and check.
@edgarblythe,
I still love Marty Feldman's face..
in memory,
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marty_Feldman
Pfizer & Pepsi to Merge
This will no doubt put Coca Cola out of business in the near future…!
The Pfizer Corporation announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form and this new product will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer.
It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of cocktails, highballs and just a good old-fashioned stiff drink. Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.
Thought for the day...There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2025, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs, huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
@ossobucotemp,
I may be wrong but I think that's Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka.
@lmur,
Aaak, you're right. Ok, then, I love his face too.
Sorry for miscue.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gene_Wilder
smacks own head...
Lady walks into a pharmacy one day:
Pharmacist: Can I help you find something?
Lady: Yes, I'd like some Nair hair remover please.
He gets it for her and says:
If you're going to use this on your legs, don't wear pants for a few days.
Lady: It's not for my legs
Pharmacist: oh, OK... If you use it on your face, don't wear makeup for a few days.
Lady: It's not for my face
Well... if you don't mind me asking, what is it for then?
It's for my Schnauzer.
Oh... well... in that case, don't ride a bicycle for a week!
@roger,
This woman looks at herself in the mirror after her beautician finishes. Shaking her head sadly, she says, "I've been coming here thirty years, and I have to tell you - you're slipping."
