32
   

Can you fall in love with someone you've never met?

 
 
Reply Sat 23 Sep, 2006 06:53 pm
I don't know if what I'm feeling inside is a true reflection of the emotions I have for this person; but I really do feel like I'm in the deepest darkest threshold of love with this guy I've never met. That sounds suspiciously odd, but I mean it in a completely innocent way...

So, I talk to this guy loads and he talks to me and everything (Over Instant Messenger) and I just love everything about him. He's really kind and sweet and funny, but he lives in the USA and I'm all the way over the pond, otherwise I would've arranged a meeting and probably got abducted or stabbed or something.... Nyah *shrugs*...

Anyway; I think about him anytime I have time to actually think about things other than work...(College sucks for thinking time)... and it makes me feel all bubbly and excited inside; that's when I start thinking 'Oh, I really need to get on the internet, see if he's on...because I really need to talk to him!!!' Need?... Would like to.... *shakes head*

Anyway, I'm not sure what to do...what to think...I've been trying to get over these feelings for months now, but they're still there...
  • Topic Stats
  • Top Replies
  • Link to this Topic
Type: Discussion • Score: 32 • Views: 71,282 • Replies: 106

 
littlek
 
  3  
Reply Sat 23 Sep, 2006 07:00 pm
I fell in love online, met the guy, had fun and then we went our separate ways (very seperate, I live in the staes and he lives in Oz). I dated one other guy from online who was great also. It could happen, but I think I was pretty lucky. The biggest concern is that you make sure you are very carefull with your self - all of yourself (including your heart).
0 Replies
 
dadpad
 
  0  
Reply Sat 23 Sep, 2006 07:14 pm
I know a woman who left her husband and 3 small(ish) children for someone she "met" on the internet. She was in OZ he in NZ. she went to NZ met the guy and stayed. I dont know whether it worked out for her but the husband was devastated.

I thought she was a schemeing power hungry bithch anyway and he was better off without her so...........

I guess if you feel comfortable about meeting and you wont hurt other people do it. Meeting in public places and with other friends is a good idea at first, untill you get a real sense of the guy.
flushd
 
  1  
Reply Sat 23 Sep, 2006 07:20 pm
Same deal as littlek. Met one guy off the internet who had me ga-ga. We had a great time - met halfway inbetween both of us as a vacation. That was it.
We still keep in contact occasionally as friends. He turned out to be a great guy. No regrets.

My advice from that time is to continue to date men in your area: or at least don't close off your eyes to the possibility. Don't let it take over your life.

You're showing signs of being ready to fall in love and find someone special. It may be this guy, it might not. Stay alert.

In my case, shortly after I came back I started dating a guy I had been liking for a long time that lived right near me. The trip, the adventure, the internet guy: gave me huge confidence to just go for it!

Day by day, that's all. No expectations. Take care.
0 Replies
 
Below viewing threshold (view)
Chai
 
  3  
Reply Sat 23 Sep, 2006 08:06 pm
hear that littlek and flushd?

you are losers.

so are you honeyrose.




Boy NoNe, I finally met someone with less tact than me. That's pretty amazing.
0 Replies
 
littlek
 
  2  
Reply Sat 23 Sep, 2006 08:17 pm
I'm a Loser - The Beatles

I'm a loser
I'm a loser
And I'm not what I appear to be

Of all the love I have won or have lost
there is one love I should never have crossed
She was a girl in a million, my friend
I should have known she would win in the end

I'm a loser
And I lost someone who's near to me
I'm a loser
And I'm not what I appear to be

Although I laugh and I act like a clown
Beneath this mask I am wearing a frown
My tears are falling like rain from the sky
Is it for her or myself that I cry

I'm a loser
And I lost someone who's near to me
I'm a loser
And I'm not what I appear to be

What have I done to deserve such a fate
I realize I have left it too late
And so it's true, pride comes before a fall
I'm telling you so that you won't lose all

I'm a loser
And I lost someone who's near to me
I'm a loser
And I'm not what I appear to be
0 Replies
 
flushd
 
  3  
Reply Sat 23 Sep, 2006 08:19 pm
I think a lot of it is due to how people live nowadays. People are busy and often don't have the close ties to their community that was once common-place.

On-line dating and chatting is convienent. You can fit it inbetween school and work and talking on your cell. lol. Well, you get the idea.

I do think it's important to stay grounded in reality, though. I never got into on-line dating sites or anything like that - just chat and forums. However, I have friends who have; and they have this little mantra: After a short time, meet or stop talking. Don't waste your time or get too emotionally invested.

It happens countless times that folks can start to fall for the persona that is mostly built up in their head - that's why it's good to get a check with reality as soon as possible. To make sure the person is who they are presenting themselves to be, and if there is any real chemistry.

That fantasy aspect can lead people to go half-way across the world and somehow believe that life, work, and regular relationship realities won't come into play. But it doesn't have to be like that. It IS real: two people with real lives and feelings. People can get hurt.

Feelings are feelings. I haven't met anyone on this forum, yet I genuinely care about the people here. It's weird, but it's true.

You just need to use common (or not so common) sense like in anything else. And take safety precautions.

Anyways, to the original query: I think you should go out on a few dates with different people, and/or find more time with your friends going out and having fun, meet new people, cut down your internet time with this guy, decide if you want to meet and if so make solid plans to do so (and figure out if this is even a possibility for you in your real life).
If there are no plans to meet: say good-bye so you can get over these feelings and focus back on yourself and what is going on around you.

Sorry for such a long post! I think this is a situation may folks find themselves in, and it's not that weird. It's a genuine q.

peace
Below viewing threshold (view)
flushd
 
  1  
Reply Sat 23 Sep, 2006 08:41 pm
I'm a loser baby, so why don't ya kill me? - Beck

I love that song! Laughing
0 Replies
 
NoNe
 
  -2  
Reply Sat 23 Sep, 2006 08:44 pm
flushd wrote:
I'm a loser baby, so why don't ya kill me? - Beck

I love that song! Laughing
no, people like u need to live and set a good example for others, imo
0 Replies
 
CalamityJane
 
  3  
Reply Sat 23 Sep, 2006 09:25 pm
Oh please, NoNe, I just read about 10 postings of yours, and they
were all obnoxious as hell. The only one who needs adjustments
in life is you!
0 Replies
 
NoNe
 
  -2  
Reply Sat 23 Sep, 2006 09:28 pm
CalamityJane wrote:
Oh please, NoNe, I just read about 10 postings of yours, and they
were all obnoxious as hell. The only one who needs adjustments
in life is you!
U see, I already got u interested in my persona. I am taking it as a compliment. :wink:
0 Replies
 
CalamityJane
 
  2  
Reply Sat 23 Sep, 2006 09:31 pm
Sounds awfully like Roxxanne Rolling Eyes

I have no interest in you at all, but I find your behaviour towards others annoying, and since I am quite outspoken, I let you know.
0 Replies
 
NoNe
 
  -2  
Reply Sat 23 Sep, 2006 09:36 pm
CalamityJane wrote:
Sounds awfully like Roxxanne Rolling Eyes

I have no interest in you at all.

I love u too.
0 Replies
 
stuh505
 
  1  
Reply Sun 24 Sep, 2006 12:10 am
Quote:
It happens countless times that folks can start to fall for the persona that is mostly built up in their head


That's it, right there...
0 Replies
 
honey rose cr
 
  3  
Reply Sun 24 Sep, 2006 02:07 am
Losers? Gee, that's a bit harsh...

BTW we didn't meet on like an internet dating site or anything; we both RP, or Roleplay for those of you who aren't into that sort of thing. :wink:

--We creative write together basically, and our characters are dating. We're both really flirty both on and off site, but I'm one of those sort of people that can get obsessive over something like this and I'm really not sure he feels at all the same way I do. I've suggested him coming to stay over here and he actually seemed a little interested; he really wants to visit England at some point anyway; but I can't see any way either of us could afford plane tickets anywhere atm.

I'd just like to clarify that he's 17 years old and I'm 16, so it's a bit more complicated than it might be if we were fully fledged adults....
flushd
 
  2  
Reply Sun 24 Sep, 2006 02:18 am
RPing. Ok.

Honestly, honey, my advice would be to take a break from it. Start with a commitment to a week or two w/ no RPing. Observe yourself.
Does that make you anxious?
Are you thinking of the next time you'll get to go on the comp?

Wean yourself off if that's the case. Try new things, go out, whatever.

Maybe you just a need a break. That stuff can get addicting. You don't wanna go there.
dadpad
 
  3  
Reply Sun 24 Sep, 2006 03:04 am
honey_rose_cr wrote:

I'd just like to clarify that he's 17 years old and I'm 16, so it's a bit more complicated than it might be if we were fully fledged adults....


Yeah that makes a whole lotta difference. You got quite a bit of social learning to do yet sweetness.

Like flushed said.. Time to take a break.

If you think about things sensibly, most 16/17 year old relationships last a few weeks/couple of months and the same is likely with this. There is a good reason for this too, its to teach you what you do and dont like in a partner. This is what you need to learn about. Cultivating a romantic fantasy about flying off overseas at your age is just that - a romantic fantasy. Nothing wrong with that, we all have them, but as you develope you need to recognise what is real and what is really a fantasy. Nobody should be able to tell you what you can and cannot achieve but you need to add a touch of realism.
0 Replies
 
Noddy24
 
  3  
Reply Sun 24 Sep, 2006 01:14 pm
Long distance young love is good for practice--provided that you don't neglect full-time people in the Real World.
0 Replies
 
 

Related Topics

A good cry on the train - Discussion by Joe Nation
IS IT OK FOR ME TO CHEAT? - Question by Setanta
New to Dating Issues - Question by dee2me
Should I trust my instincts? - Question by helpthehelperhelpher
Love problem!!! - Question by Cool123
 
  1. Forums
  2. » Can you fall in love with someone you've never met?
Copyright © 2014 MadLab, LLC :: Terms of Service :: Privacy Policy :: Page generated in 0.05 seconds on 11/01/2014 at 12:01:53