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My son went to prison and I'm afraid for him!!!!!

 
 
cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Tue 7 Nov, 2006 09:08 pm
He alrady had two strikes against him; 1) his biological father has spent time in prison, and 2) your son has been in trouble many times before.

It's beyond your control, so don't fault yourself for his problems. Whether son or stranger, they make their own choices knowing what the consequences are. That's what being an adult means. He made those choices, not you.

Parents always suffer for their children's problems - be it medical or anti-social problems.

I wonder if there are support groups for parents with problem children that you can join to get support and information - somewhat similar to AA. It's always a good idea to hear how other parents have learned to cope and get support.
jeanniefranks
 
  1  
Reply Fri 17 Nov, 2006 03:15 pm
Wow, thanks for the idea! If anyone knows where I could find a support group like that please let me know! When I was married I used to attend Al-Anon. I bet those same principles would help me now!
0 Replies
 
rolozo
 
  0  
Reply Sun 25 Nov, 2007 11:26 pm
9 years state prison
My son is 26 this dec, he has been a problem since he was little, always getting caught for steeling. As he got older it just got worse, I don't even know who he really is right now. I spent thousands of dollars on him for rehabs, and sober living houses, and just got worse. Last week he was sentenced to 9 years in a state prison, maybe here in california. He had multiple arrests for drugs and home invasion robbery with owner home. WHich meant it was a serious crime, he now has 1 strike and will probably serve 7 years. I am at a lost right now and confused as what to do for him anymore. I am a sober member of AA for almost 19 years and heard everything from tough love to don't stop being his dad. He has been calling and asking for money and I sometimes give in not knowing what he is going to do with it.......I am hoping to hear from someone with a similar situation...Thanks
0 Replies
 
Noddy24
 
  2  
Reply Mon 26 Nov, 2007 02:45 pm
Rolozo--

Welcome to A2K.

At this point I don't think there is anything that you can do to change your son's behavior. As snarly adolescents are likely to tell you, it's his life.

Don't stop being your son's dad--but don't expect he'll will straighten out because you love him. People with drug problems are usually not reasonable, caring people.

Mr. Noddy has a nephew--42 year old--who will be serving his third sentence in state prison for sexual assault. This kid had loving parents and a supportive family--and both a alcohol/drug problem and a responsibility problem.

He insists that the women led him on and that he hit them because they asked for it. Until he admits that he's at fault....

What can you do for him? Stay in touch. Send whatever Care packages are allowed by the prison system. Write to him. If you're a praying man, pray. Worrying about him won't do either of you much good, but separating "worrying" and "caring" is very difficult.

Good luck.
0 Replies
 
jeanniefranks
 
  1  
Reply Mon 26 Nov, 2007 08:10 pm
Yeah, I've heard that "it's his life" crap. Heck, I've used that line myself! And its just as true now as it was 30 years ago. But as a parent, I still bleed when my kid gets cut.
Noddy24 said: "If you're a praying man, pray."
I say: pray anyway! It doesn't cost you anything.
0 Replies
 
red8rubies
 
  1  
Reply Wed 31 Dec, 2008 09:28 pm
@Noddy24,
how stupid do you really think he can send anything when you have to put money on their books to get toothpaste why are you on this site?
0 Replies
 
red8rubies
 
  1  
Reply Wed 31 Dec, 2008 09:30 pm
@Noddy24,
you have to put money on the books to get toothpASTE DO YOU REALLY THINK THEY CAN SEND THEIR KIDS SOMETHING GET REAL
boomerang
 
  4  
Reply Wed 31 Dec, 2008 09:45 pm
@red8rubies,
Noddy died last year after being a valued and loved member of this site for more years than you can imagine.

I know you don't know so we will forgive your idiotic post.
Camille Baggott
 
  1  
Reply Sat 20 Jun, 2009 12:57 pm
@boomerang,
My son has been in jail for one month now and is facing very serious charges. This is not a young man who had antisocial behaviors growing up and was a professional. All that is gone now. I couldn't have been more shocked if I had been told that he lost his life. I have very hard feelings to deal with and I don't know where to turn for support. Only other Mothers could know the devastation. I'm still numb. I write him almost daily groping for some kind of conversation. I live 500 miles from where he is and I have been to see him twice and I'm all he has to put money on his books and I am scared to death of all this. This is sthe first time that anyone in our family has had anything more than a traffic ticket. Help me, please. How was it for you the first months and what can I expect emotionally ongoing? I feel like my life will never be the same again.
boomerang
 
  1  
Reply Sat 20 Jun, 2009 01:18 pm
Oh my goodness.

I'm afraid I'm not any help since I wasn't the person who posted this, but only someone who responded to the thread. I have not had a relative in prision but I can imagine that it is terrifying for you.

I hope someone comes along who can offer you some advice on how best to cope with the situation. I'm sorry that you're going through this.
0 Replies
 
lmigala
 
  1  
Reply Sat 15 Aug, 2009 06:10 pm
@Camille Baggott,
Well I have not gone throught this before. I am in the same situtation. My son just turned 25. A professional as well. Never in trouble with the law. Not even as a teenager. He lost his job due to cut backs then his fiance left him, with their five year old daughter. Things just went down hill from there. Now he is in jail. No one in our family has ever done anything like this before as well. If you find any way to cope through the shock of all of this. Please let me know. I will be praying for you.
0 Replies
 
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Sat 15 Aug, 2009 06:48 pm
@ossobuco,
ossobuco wrote:

You are 38 now, then?

Not to be mean, Jmparrack, but you post a bunch of difficult and varying circumstances.

Yes, some of us do understand the difficulties you describe,
whichever poster under your screen name you are.
If all this is true, I'm very sorry and hope you can get him help -
first to understand stabbing someone isn't ok, and then for whatever legal help he can get.

Maybe, but that ' s not necessarily true.
If he had not stabbed him,
then it coud be possible that he 'd be worse off
like his bio dad, or dead.

Morally, a lot depends on who began the fight.
0 Replies
 
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Sat 15 Aug, 2009 06:52 pm
@Slappy Doo Hoo,
Slappy Doo Hoo wrote:

He's lucky he didn't kill him. Then he'd be in prison a lot longer.
He 's even LUCKIER that the other guy did not kill HIM.
Then he 'd be in a grave a lot longer.
He did something to avoid that.





`
0 Replies
 
NickFun
 
  1  
Reply Sun 16 Aug, 2009 08:23 am
This topic started 3 years ago. Surely the youthful miscreant has been released by now.
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Sun 16 Aug, 2009 08:30 am
@NickFun,
NickFun wrote:

This topic started 3 years ago. Surely the youthful miscreant has been released by now.
YEAH! Will u go look for him?





`
0 Replies
 
Trishalynn56
 
  1  
Reply Thu 24 Sep, 2009 09:42 pm
My son went to San Quentin today. Feeling the blues.
Trishalynn56
 
  3  
Reply Thu 24 Sep, 2009 09:47 pm
@Trishalynn56,
One day a mother, went to a prison, to see an erring but presious son.
She told the wardon how much she loved him, it did not matter what he had done.
She did not bring to him a parole or pardone, she did not bring to him no pomp or style.
She was a halo brought down from heavans light, the sweets gift, a mothers smile.
tsarstepan
 
  2  
Reply Thu 24 Sep, 2009 09:56 pm
@Trishalynn56,
That is a touching poem. The best thing and only thing you can do now is show your son support and compassion. And perhaps eventually forgiveness if that is not or has yet to be forthcoming.
0 Replies
 
suznlyn
 
  2  
Reply Mon 11 Apr, 2011 11:53 am
@Trishalynn56,
I feel so bad for you. Please remember that our time here on earth is not supposed to be ecstacy. Obviously your son committed a crime for which he is now paying (hopefully) - the stupid judicial system. I will pray for you and your son's safety. Think about the good memories of your son. Frame pictures of him when he was young and pure. Love him and visit him, if you can.
0 Replies
 
Endoftheline
 
  1  
Reply Fri 27 May, 2011 06:42 am
My son is 25 and just returned from Iraq. His room mate is an armor and was told by his Commanding Officer to bring back two M14's that were left behind from another Unit. The roommate and my son and another Armor took the guns off base to keep for war throphys. Needless to say the C.O. Got demoted and moved and these three kids are going to prison (military disciplinary barracks) run by Marines. My son is also a drug addict. I am just stunned and don't know how to even feel. He is his own worst enemy!
0 Replies
 
 

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