Perpetual Limerick (:3=

Tags: Limericks, Original Writing, Otf
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Ladies are catty we know well
They have secrets they love to tell!
Some men can be, too
But not Merry Andrew! Smile

And that's as clear as a bell!

The day dawned sunny and fine

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The day dawned sunny and fine
The knickers were pegged on the line
In the wind they flap,
Whilst Mame takes a nap,
In the wind and the warm sunshine.

Sunday bests are pegged to the right

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Sunday bests are pegged to the right
It's where they get the most sunlight

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Sunday bests are pegged to the right
It's where they get the most sunlight
That's not really true
It's behind the loo.
From the road they are out of sight.

That is to spare our Mame's blushes

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That is to spare our Mame's blushes
Or unattractive hot flushes

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That is to spare our Mame's blushes
Or unattractive hot flushes
As she sees my shorts
And derisively snorts:
"They're being shat on by thrushes!"

But today, of course, we have dryers
So that those feathered high-fliers

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But today, of course, we have dryers
So that those feathered high-fliers
must make direct hits
with sad little shits
on scarecrows and other beliers.

Laughing

sorry, Andrew - I couldn't resist (you started the shit thing)...

Let's talk of more pleasant topics
Like sand and sea in the tropics

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Let's talk of more pleasant topics
Like sand and sea in the tropics
Nice but I'm yawning
Ideas dawning
Only one though - I'm myopic.

It's a fine sunny day here in
Beautiful Vancouver wherein
Tourists do roam free

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It's a fine sunny day here in
Beautiful Vancouver wherein
Tourists do roam free
If the cops agree
That free is to not get run in.

I saw a young lady tonight
For sore eyes she was quite a sight
But ten years from now
She'll look like a cow
When the string breaks on her sweet kite.

But it's nice to see such a dear
Who's somebody's daughter I fear

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But it's nice to see such a dear
Who's somebody's daughter I fear.
You dirty old chap
What a lbarrel of crap,
Get back to your pub and your beer.

A sun-bronzed young man from Kentucky

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A sun-bronzed young man from Kentucky
Used nine for eight and got lucky
He won quite a mint
Which bought him a bint

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A sun-bronzed young man from Kentucky
Used nine for eight and got lucky
He won quite a mint
Which bought him a bint
A high price to pay for some nookie!

She spent all his money on beer
in an effort to increase the cheer
for she found him quite sour
his manner so dour

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She spent all his money on beer
in an effort to increase the cheer
for she found him quite sour
his manner so dour
He's only disguising a leer.

But lust is not love it's just lust

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But lust is not love it's just lust
and sometimes just lust is enough
for love has no meaning
and tis only fleeting
hence loving yourself is a must

A cheeky young man from Penzance

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A cheeky young man from Penzance
Stowed away on a boat for France
To seek an au pair
With sweet derriere
And he came back in a deep trance.

His eyeballs had merged into one

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His eyeballs had merged into one
And stung as if seared by the sun

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His eyeballs had merged into one
And stung as if seared by the sun
His schnoz was too long
His face was all wrong
The poor guy was really undone.

A guy is a guy is a guy
Get along? My dear, we do try
But they're really quite

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A guy is a guy is a guy
Get along? My dear, we do try
But they're really quite
Twisted Evil

Almost always right

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A guy is a guy is a guy
Get along? My dear, we do try
But they're really quite
Almost always right
(That's the line they want us to buy)

The Man's not a logical beast

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The Man's not a logical beast
That's what I said, at least
Having seen the women
behave as citrus limon
While expecting a love feast.

But it has not cured me

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Perpetual Limerick (:3=

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