Gettin' Religion

2400




An atheist was walking through the woods one
day in Alaska, admiring all that evolution had created.
"What majestic trees! What a powerful river!
What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a
rustling in the bushes behind him. Turning to look, he
saw a 13 foot Kodiak brown bear beginning to charge
towards him.

He ran as fast as he could down the path. He looked over his
shoulder and saw that the bear was rapidly closing on him.
Somehow, he ran even faster, so scared that tears came to his
eyes. He looked again and the bear was even closer. His heart
pounding in his chest, he tried to run faster yet. But alas, he
tripped and fell to the ground.

As he rolled over to pick himself up, the bear was right over him.
It reached for him with its left paw and raising its right paw to
strike .

The man screamed, "OH MY GOD! ...."

The bear froze. The forest was silent. Even the river
stopped moving. Time stopped.

A brilliant light shone upon the man, and a thunderous
voice came from all around.

"YOU DENY MY EXISTENCE FOR ALL THESE YEARS.
YOU TEACH OTHERS THAT I DON'T EXIST. YOU CREDIT
CREATION TO SOME COSMIC ACCIDENT. DO YOU EXPECT
ME TO HELP YOU OUT OF YOUR FEARS NOW? AM I TO
NOW COUNT YOU AS A BELIEVER?"

Difficult as it was, the atheist looked directly into the light
and said, "It would be hypocritical to ask to be a Christian
after all these years, but perhaps you could make the bear
a Christian?"

"VERY WELL." said the voice.

The light went out. The river ran. The sounds of the forest
resumed.

And the bear dropped down on her knees, and brought
both paws together. And with bowed head said: "Lord,
thank you for this food which I am about to receive."