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Fri 9 May, 2003 11:09 am
One of the most difficult aspects of caring for loved/tolerated/assigned people who are puttering towards death on a gloomy, downhill slope is that you are always on duty.
What techniques have you developed for lasting just one more conversation, one more day, one more delusion one more tantrum of self-centered fury?
As a child I was very fond of Sara Crew: The Little Girl in the Attic. [/B] As a sophisticated English major I spurned the mawkish sentimentality. As a seasoned adult I was very glad when the book was revived and filmed as The Little Princess.
As primary caretaker and principal witness to the mental decay of the man I loved and married, I've resorted to imaginary role-playing: What would a Real Princess do? How would Our Spunky and Compassionate Heroine React?
Am I the only one with such coping mechanisms?
There are several ways to cope with this situation. The first is denial. Not a good choice, I'm afraid.
The second is to find a support system for YOU. You need diversion from the home environment and you need it now.
Where are such support groups?
I have to guess, that I would ask a social worker or even a clergy person, with whom I'm comfortable talking to.
Lastly, many individuals have place their loved ones in nursing homes for others to take care of. When the situation becomes physically and emotionally unbearable to you and you have no other resources to rely on, then you might consider the relocation to a nursing home.
I think patients do better at home, than in a nursing home. This is my opinion,however.
New Haven--
Thanks for the advice. I've been cultivating support people and finding them in very unlikely places.
Don't worry--I never flee far into fantasy.
Hold your dominion.
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