Atrophy Of The Testes

This gives new meaning to the phrase, "corn flake." Kellogg didn't simply invent the corn flake, he was a corn flake.

Kellogg was a great man.

In my bedroom hangs a poster of Tony the Tiger with a clothespin on his engorged penis, signed by Kellogg himself.

EGads!

Now how do you all feel about breakfast?

They made a movie about Kellogg called "The Road To Wellville"...it's a comedy, but I'd say more of a dark comedy. When they advertise the movie they usually run this piece of dialog.

Mathew Broderick: Oh, no, no, I can't eat fifteen gallons of yoghurt.
Anthony Hopkins: Oh, it's not going in that end.

I've seen parts of that movie. Prolly time to see it again!

I've seen the Chinese version of this film.


Shot in the Wan King province, I believe.

oh john.

HA!

I have stories about him.

Married, never had sex, adopted 32 children.
His mental hospital burned down some years ago..
i forgot how many
and all of is inventions went with it.

Some of the ones that were left were showcased in the movie Road to wellville , wich gave the family shudders.
He was not THAT damn crazy........


ok........ yes he was..


He believed that straw was a perfect form of fiber
so was wood
and would eat this daily.

He was a big advocate for child adoption and, the idiocies of the bible.
Mind you, he was christian...

he just believed that ti was written before 'modern medicine' and there for was a RX for death.
Martial sex being one of the big ones.

John believed that masturbation was a poison on the body, and a form of self abuse.
He advocated circumcision as a punishment for masturbation and told people to not circumsize at birth, rather, wait until masturbation became a secret part of thier lives ( puberty)
Carbolic acid was a womans form of self abuse punishment.



John and Wallace.

Wallace started Kelloggs.
Wallace and some one else.. I forget who. It wasnt 3 like in the movie, it was only 2 guys..

John thought Wallace was creating the death of america by feeding people corn.
John thought that it should contain more natural forms of fiber.
Like wood



thank goodness Wallace was right.

He loved to eat wood, did he?

Not good, my "tastes" are atrophied...

He lived to the age of 91

Who wants to live to 91 eating bark and never gettin' any?

Proven fact: every wank takes five minutes off of your life.

One more and I'm history.

That can't be right, or I'd be in negative numbers by now.

Sinner.

Sinner...perhaps....but I've got forearms like oak trees baby!!! Micky Mantle ain't got nuthin on me.



..in a golf announcer half whisper....

For those of you that did not get the Micky Mantle reference; The Mick is considered by many experts, and rightfully so, to be the most powerful hitter to ever set foot inside the batters box. The Oklahoma native developed an extremely powerful upper body whilst doing his daily chores on the family farm, as well as summers spent as a "screen ape"...which is a person that pounds big rocks into smaller rocks with a very large hammer. Mick is credited in the Guiness Book of World Records with the longest official home run, at, 565 ft. Most fact books also note that he hit a dinger 643 ft at Tiger stadium, as well as a 656 ft shot very early in his career....both of those homers are over two football fields in length folks. At under 6' as well as weighing in at less than 200 lbs, compared to the frame of Mr. Mcgwire at 6'5, 250 lbs, all I can say is Mark who? The Mick was indeed, a mighty, mighty man.

...we now go to hole nine, {Retards For Jeebus} where it appears that Setanta is about to deliver a spinach induced roundhouse to Husker....

Some Parents Really Followed Dr. Kellogg
Some parents literally followed Dr. Kellogg and claim success upon implementing his idea in their sons.

The son should undress in front of his parents especially before Mom and give his underwear for "examination". The mother will shower the boy or watch him to shower. The bath room door should be kept open when he showers. When the semen stain in the underwear Circumcision will be arranged.

The boy would be circumcised by a lady doctor without anesthesia. Tight circumcision and frenulum removal. Other female relatives will be present to witness the circumcision.

The boy will not be allowed to wear anything until the wound is healed. Only females would apply cream and change the bandage. Some moms even invite their sisters and lady school teachers of the boy to show his circumcision. Warning will be issued to the boy if he masturbates again he will be undressed in front of females. This punishment really worked for some boys according to some internet posts.

Re: Some Parents Really Followed Dr. Kellogg

Word of the day.