The Evil Genie game:

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Granted. Unfortunately, the first time you drive it, the brakes fail and you go plunging into the ocean. There you are picked up by pirates who shanghai you and force you to stand watch at the top of the sails-- when a huge wave knocks you into the water where you become lunch for a dozen hungry sharks.

I wish I could read minds. Confused

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Granted.

Unfortunately, you learn that everyone thinks you're a boring jerk.

I wish I could redecorate my entire house.

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Granted. It's in mod-70s style, and everything is shag carpeting and op art wallpaper, which makes you dizzy.

I wish my hairstyle was more, er, stylish.

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Granted. You now look like Dennis Rodman.

I wish I had the ability to think.

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Granted - but with your fierce persona that makes you doubly scary to shy violets like me.

I wish I was blonde.

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Granted. Poof! You just lost 50 IQ points.

I wish someone would clean my house.

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Granted. Poof! Your house has been cleaned out...including the television, wall safe, jewelry box, etc....

I wish I was happy for the rest of my life.

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Granted. You now have a brain the size of a pistachio.

I wish I had X-Ray vision.

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Granted- but you're surrounded by overweight ninety-year-old men.

I wish I could fill out a B-cup.

(quite the modest wish, no?)

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Granted. For such a modest wish, I'll just say that the bra is scratchy.

I wish I could beam myself anywhere in the world.

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Granted. Oops, you're in an active volcano.

I wish there were better programs on TV.

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Granted, but now everyone, including you is a big fat very sufficiently entertained couch potato!

I wish I could travel the world.

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Granted, Welcome to Newark, New Jersey.

I wish I had a sandwich right now.

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Granted ... here's a knuckle sandwich.

I wish Kansas was in the Final Four

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Granted. The Final Four in the year 2056 and you are too old to care.

I wish I had a new wardrobe

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Granted. Poof! you now have 10,000 new outfits, but they are all half your size and you must become a nudist.

I wish the red-headed girl I knew 20 years ago had been madly in love with me.

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Granted. Now you're Charlie Brown, so come kick this football while I hold it for you.

I wish my electric bill was paid by mysterious beings from another world.

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Granted. We did warn you about the probe , right ?

I wish the deer would stop eating all of our shrubbery.

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Granted. You are now trapped within a 40-foot high
impenetrable thorn thicket.

I wish I was twenty years younger.

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Granted. You are 20 years younger. And, as an added bonus, you will live another 100 years. Poof! You're a tortoise.

I wish I had a live in cook.

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The Evil Genie game:

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