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Sun 26 Mar, 2006 06:59 am
In the past few days there as been several threads about disappointment re relationships and sexuality. I once (in my 30's) dated twice a charming lady whom I dated twice, She initiated sex on both dates. After the second
date I called her to come over to my home to chat. I asked her to define what she expecteded in an on-going long term relationship while I also gave her a list of what I expected both in relationship and sexuality issues. She was afronted and I never saw her again. The point I make is that people (in my opinion) avoid such essential issues from some kind of discomfort of the topic and yet it is a major issue for most relationships. Why not bring it up from the git-go?
Because, in our society, no matter how free you are sexually, you are still taught that it is wrong and shamefull.
Just look at our tv shows. We offer a violent pornography 24/7
You will see someone cut up, raped, shot, mugged, beaten or already dead , before you will see someone having sex or even partially nude simply because they are changing clothes.
Kind of backwards if you ask me.
So - now- push that shame to women , as does the american society, and we feel like we should NOT truly WANT sex for our pleasure, only out of duty for hubbies everywhere.
Ehh what ever.
It is easier to just do it, then to talk about it.
Talking about sex with someone you are either GOING to or ARE having sex with, makes it more intimate. That intimacy level is scary for some, and unknown to others.
There seems to be more romance , and more imagined fullfillment placed on 'fuck'buddy style relationships, then real, long lasting intimate relationships.
but thats my humble opinion and attempt at spelling before coffee...
Two swallows do not a summer make?
hehee.
Takes times to get that for some of us. I never thought that far ahead before.
Now it's just out with it. 'Cause you're right. It saves a lot of unnecessary suffering.
I know I was just uneducated about the whole deal. Still a baby yet in many ways. I had to learn the hard way. No one sat me down and told me what to look for. People got married at 17 where I grew up!
I always was a lil different. Woo hoo! Let the good times roll.
you are supposed to MARRY the people you have sex with?
sheeesshhh
im such a floozie..
( signed , the still legally single gal..)
All of them?
I think the baskin robbins taster spoon is far more sound as far as deciding who you'll marry.
That way at least you know the honeymoon will be fun instead of a grueling freudian type obstacle course of unknown configuration.
Gosh, can you imagine?
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