It's the 25th of Kislev ...

Put on your yarmulke
It's time for Chanukah
Once again it's onaka
The miracle of Chanukah

Chanukah is the Festival of Lights
One day of presents?
Hell, no, we get Eight Crazy Nights

But if you fell like the only kid in town without a Christmas tree
I guess my first two songs didn't do it for you
So here comes number three

Ross and Phoebe from Friends say the Chanukah blessing
So does Lenny's pal Squiggy and Will and Grace's Debra Messing
Melissa Gilbert and Michael London never mix meat with dairy
Maybe they shoulda called that show Little Kosher House on the Prairie?
We've got Jerry Lewis, Ben Stiller and Jack Black
Tom Arnold converted to Judaism but you guys can have him back

We may not get to kiss underneath the mistletoe
But we can do it all night long with Deuce Bigelow
I'm Jewish
Put on your yarmulke, here comes Chanukah

The guy in Willie Nelson's band who plays harmonica
Celebrates Chanukah
Osama Bin Laden
Not a big fan of the Jews
Well maybe that 's because he lost a figure-skating match to gold medalist Sarah Hughes-Her mama's Jewish

Houdini and David Blaine escape strait jackets with such precision
But the one thing they could not get out of-their painful circumcision
Gwyneth Paltrow's half-Jewish but a full-time Oscar winner
Jennifer Connelly's half Jewish, too, and I'd like to put some more in her

There's Lou Reed, Perry Farrel, Beck and Paula Abdul
Joey Ramone invented punk rock music, but first came Hebrew school

Hey, Natalie Portmanika?
It's time to celebrate Chanukah?
I hope you get an abtronika
On this joyful, toyful Chanukah

So get a high colonika
And soil your long Johnikas
If you really, really wannaka?
Have a happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy,...
Happy Chanukah!

[TEVYE]
Tradition, tradition! Tradition!
Tradition, tradition! Tradition!

[TEVYE & PAPAS]
Who, day and night, must scramble for a living,
Feed a wife and children, say his daily prayers?
And who has the right, as master of the house,
To have the final word at home?

The Papa, the Papa! Tradition.
The Papa, the Papa! Tradition.

[GOLDE & MAMAS]
Who must know the way to make a proper home,
A quiet home, a kosher home?
Who must raise the family and run the home,
So Papa's free to read the holy books?

The Mama, the Mama! Tradition!
The Mama, the Mama! Tradition!

[SONS]
At three, I started Hebrew school. At ten, I learned a trade.
I hear they've picked a bride for me. I hope she's pretty.

The son, the son! Tradition!
The son, the son! Tradition!

[DAUGHTERS]
And who does Mama teach to mend and tend and fix,
Preparing me to marry whoever Papa picks?

The daughter, the daughter! Tradition!
The daughter, the daughter! Tradition!

How lucky are we that we
Have lights so that we can see
All though the day is done
What a miracle that a spark
Lifts these candles out of the dark
Every evening one by one
Until the end of Hanukkah
Of Hanukkah
With the jingle bells and the toys
And the TV shows and the noise
It’s easy to forget
At the end of the day
Our whole family will say
These words for Hanukkah:
Barukh Atah
ADONAI Elohaynu Melekh h'olom
asher kid'shanu b'mitzvotav v'tzivanu
l'hadlik nehr shel hannukah
We light the candles for Hanukkah
For Hanukkah

We remember how Maccabees
Fought so all of us could be free
So we celebrate
On this festival of the lights
There’s a joyful time every night
Where we illuminate
The candles of Hanukkah
Of Hanukkah
Barukh atah ADONAI
Elohaynu Melekh ha’olom
She'asah neesim l’avotaynu
bayamim hahem ba'zman hazeh
Hanukkah
Hanukkah

Oh Hanukkah, Oh, Hanukkah
Come light the menorah
Let's have a party
We'll all dance the hora
Gather round the table,
We'll give you a treat
Sevivon to play with latkes to eat

And while we are playing
The candles are burning low
One for each night, they shed a sweet light
To remind us of days long ago
One for each night, they shed a sweet light
To remind us of days long ago

I have a little dreidel,
I made it out of clay.
And when it’s dry and ready,
Oh dreidel I shall play.
(Chorus)
Oh dreidel, dreidel, dreidel,
I made it out of clay;
And when its dry and ready,
Then dreidel I shall play.
It has a lovely body,
With legs so short and thin.
And when it gets all tired,
It drops and then I win.
(Chorus)

Hanuka candlelight, see my flame
Shining on my window's pane;
Come flicker across my glassy glass
And light each lonesome to pass.

If your lifelong heavy load
Brings you down my path and down my road,
My light of Hanuka shines your way
To ask you in to rest a day.

Hanuka candle dances warm
To help you weather your heavy storm;
Shines like my lighthouse light this night
To bring your worried soul my light

Now as I light my first and my last
Of all nine candles to guide you past
Through these winds of blowing snows
To take you to your Hanuka home.

If you don't wish to stop inside;
Too bashful proud, or afraid of pride,
I'll send my beam to light your dream
Under your snow, where my newgrass hides.

Honeyka Hanuka 'round and around,
Honeycake Hanuka, eat them down,
Latkes and goody things all over town,
It's Honeyky Hanuka time.

It's Honeyky Hanuka, shaky my hand,
My candles are burning all over this land,
To light the dark road for the man passing by,
It's Honeyky Hanuka time.

It's Honeyky Hanuka, kissy my cheek,
The light in my window it burns for a week
I'll open my present and take a little peek,
It's Honeyky Hanuka time.

It's Honeyky Hanuka, makes me feel glad,
This box for mother and this box for dad,
For sister and brother, nice ribbons I'll tie,
It's Honeyka Hanuka time.

It's Honeyky Hanuka, huggy me tight,
It's Hanukah day, and it's Hanukah night,
If you've got no money, well, that's all right.
It's Honeyky Hanukah time.

It's Honeyka Hanuka, kiss my some more,
We'll sing and go dancing around on the floor,
Your kiss is nicer than cakes from the store,
It's Honeyky Hanukah time.

It's Honeyky Hanuka, brushy my hair,
Let's dance a big horah and jump in the air,
You look lots prettier to me every year
At Honeyky Hanukah time.