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secular Institute for the laity under religious vows

 
 
Reply Sun 4 Dec, 2005 02:17 pm
I belong to a secular Institute of women, who live in the world and work in the world and live in their homes but choose not to marry for the love of Jesus Christ. We take religious vows of poverty, chasitiy and obedience and have a religious superior to whom wo share our life's journey's and monthly reports on how things are going.

We have annual retreats together and meet in various parts of the USA together. We share phone calls during the year, e-mails for support and have ample time to share with our director. One must be Catholic to join and unmarried.

We have a postulancy, noviciate and a junurate all at home but all lasting for about 7 years in total of spiritual formations, direction and readings from a director in the Institute and from the Priest of the Institute!

The vowed life is such a fulfilling life that I just wanted to share it with you since it is not a common one. I have been under vows since I was 21 years old, over 25 years now and still happy!

Contact me if you would like to chat about this life and talk...
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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 26,920 • Replies: 728
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neologist
 
  1  
Reply Sun 4 Dec, 2005 03:19 pm
Welcome to the forum nancyann. I find it remarkable that you would devote your entire life to your faith. Would you be willing to share your reasons?
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nancyann Deren IOLA
 
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Reply Mon 5 Dec, 2005 12:37 pm
reply to neologist!
Thanks for replying! As a young girl, I had a pull of love of God in most all I did--though I was very normal. Went to public schools most of my life!. In high school, I wanted to go to a Catholic school but my parents said a plat "No!" I sold papers all though high school and helped pay my tuition and got through a Cathic high school and onto a public college education and college master's degree. In college I knew in my heart, He, Christ was the one for my life. I wanted to give Him all in my ordinary way. I searched and seareced and low and behold, I found, The Pauline family. The founder of the group I belong to is Blessed James Alberione, SSP. He founded 10 Institutes. I belong to one of his 10. One of the 10 is the Daughters of St Paul, The Societ of St Paul, The Holy Family Institute (for Catholics who are married and wish to be under vows in the Catholic Church). We are altoghter called The Pauline Family, we are world-wide!

Oue mission is to gentle to bring Jesus Master to outhers in their lives via Social communication. Check out our sites at Edit [Moderator]: Links removed

I wanted to belong to a group under vows and belong to the church and give my whole life to God!

Nancyann Deren, IOLA
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timberlandko
 
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Reply Mon 5 Dec, 2005 01:22 pm
Interesting career track there, nancyann. Pretty much a product of the Loyola system, including LU Chicago and USF, I managed somehow to develop a rather different personal philosophy (just ask Neo :wink: ), and to escape the fate ordained for me by my family and educators. I'm sure the SJUSA and indeed Holy Mother Church herself profitted some thereby Twisted Evil

Anyhow, welcome to A2K - hope you enjoy it here; looking forward to your contributions.
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neologist
 
  1  
Reply Mon 5 Dec, 2005 01:55 pm
I too am a fugitive from the church who went in a direction different than timber's. But I am interested in your posts as well.

BTW, you may post your website links in your profile to avoid having them removed.

Other links may be added using the URL function.
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timberlandko
 
  1  
Reply Mon 5 Dec, 2005 02:06 pm
As addenda to Neo's suggetions above:
You should check this website's TERMS, to which you assented when you activated your A2K membership; in general, you can't post links to your own websites or to those of entities with which you have a direct affilliation, nor in any other wise can you promote same. That may seem a bit harsh, but its an effective anti-spam measure, the benefit of which far outweighs any concomitant inconvenience.
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nancyann Deren IOLA
 
  1  
Reply Tue 6 Dec, 2005 09:43 am
welcome
Thank you for your welcome! Everyone has a contribution to give to the Church and to society! In our Institute we stress that our presense should be kind and unassuming and for the most part most employers do not even know we belong to the Institute. We keep it private. We live our lives radiating Christ in what we say and do in quiet and gentle ways each day!

In our private homes we have requirements for our religious life/lives! Prayers, Mass, Visits to the Blessed Sacrament, the rosary, confession, monthly evenings of recollection, annual retreats, and so forth. But, there is a "Come and See" program before a person enters our life for a period of time and the person and the Institute Director decide if they want it and if it is for them. They are invite to come on our annual retreas wherever they are to meet us and share with us!

But we come from all walks of life. I happen to be a psychological counselor with a doctoral degree in pastoral counseling and a master's degree in pastoral counseling and spiritual direction. Another is an accountant, another who had been in the Institute for a very long time had become blind just died, we have other counselors, utility workers, office workers, etc. All walks of life God calls to our vocation! Requirements: Single Catholic women! We have another branch for single Catholic men also! Our founder founded a branch for them also!
We are world-wide!

Nancyann
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ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Tue 6 Dec, 2005 01:12 pm
There but for the grace of god go I.
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Chai
 
  1  
Reply Tue 6 Dec, 2005 01:24 pm
bm
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Chai
 
  1  
Reply Tue 6 Dec, 2005 01:38 pm
I can see where you went this route rather than become a nun. This way, you have more interaction on a daily basis with people. Also, in that people might deal with you differently if you were a nun.

Question...Since you live a celibite life, but others don't necessarily know it, have you found it harder to deal with possible relationships with the opposite sex, than if you joined the sisterhood?
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nancyann Deren IOLA
 
  1  
Reply Wed 7 Dec, 2005 06:21 pm
Celibacy/chastity
When I have been living this life at work and at home, I must always remember who I am, like a wife would if she were married at work, how to act with her vowed life! I go to mass daily and get enriched by mass and the Visit to the Eucharist daily and my work with others gets enriched by my personal prayer life with Jesus and my daily communions at Mass.

There have been times when I have been asked out, I just explain, I am not available to whomever politely and if approp. I will tell them why. When I made my vows, I wore a band on my left hand and there have never been any questions about my ring. I am open to those whom I meet in my life about my vows and do not put my vows in danger. When one is under vows of any kind one knows if one is in danger of breaking then or not. I try never to break them!

Nancyann
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spendius
 
  1  
Reply Wed 7 Dec, 2005 06:43 pm
What is your definition of celibacy nanny?

And your's Chai?
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Chai
 
  1  
Reply Thu 8 Dec, 2005 09:01 am
Celibacy is a choice not to be married so one may serve God

Chaste is remaining pure, abstaining from sex before marriage.

A person who was married at one time but was widowed is free to choose a celibate life at that time.
Or they may never have married, never had sex, and choose never to marry.
It can be argued that one may have a sex life, choose to remain unmarried, and call themselves celibate.
I, however do not agree with that. If one chooses a life of celibacy, I feel they are also choosing a life without sex.

Re: Chastity after marriage..... is having sex only with your marriage partner.

Thanks for your answer nancyann.
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nancyann Deren IOLA
 
  1  
Reply Thu 8 Dec, 2005 06:47 pm
Is it harder?
In some ways it may be harder because I don't have the group around me all day long. But I am somewhat open about my faith in a gentle way with my co-workers. When I go on retreats annually, they know it. When I go one monthly evenings of recollection with others of the Institute of the area I meet, I tell those with whom I work about it.

But the support, yes it may be a bit more challenging. But the good thing is this: if one has responsibilities of the family and work and still wish to live a consecrated/religious life of vows, one can do so!

I wear a band on my left hand as a sign of my life commitment since my first vows. I am now a junior professed in the Institute. In about two years I will make perpetuals God willing with His grace!

For me, it is where God has called me. I looked for 11 years for the right place for my vocation and finally for the right "home" for it!

Nancyann
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nancyann Deren IOLA
 
  1  
Reply Thu 8 Dec, 2005 07:03 pm
What is Celibacy? for Spendius
The Roman Catholic has defined Celibacy to remain unmarried and to remain pure for the Kingdom of Heaven. For me celibacy, it was a divine call from God I did not conscious choose until I said "Yes!" at Vows! I always felt a pull to love only Him and to do thing for His glory, like serving others in the apostolate and in some form of loving ministry. But the important thing was loving Him Totally with all my heart, a total "yes to God." Once I said Yes To God it was like being in love, all doors started opening up, and things started flowing.

Celibacy for me is a total Yes to one, Jesus. I abstain from sex for the Kingdom of Heaven and serve people in joyful service. Service is where we are fulfilled. In total and in loving service to others! I get so much fulfillment by giving Jesus Master to the world!

Nancyann
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dyslexia
 
  1  
Reply Thu 8 Dec, 2005 07:17 pm
very interesting.
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timberlandko
 
  1  
Reply Thu 8 Dec, 2005 07:28 pm
It should be understood that there is a distinction to be made between celibacy and chastity, both of which, for the very reason of that distinction, are common components of the vows pursuant to the Sacrament of Holy Orders. In the words of William May, Michael J. McGivney Professor of Moral Theology, John Paul II Institute for Studies on Marriage and Family at The Catholic University of America, " ... (C)oncupisence, which results from original sin, although not itself a sin, is a strong tendency inclining and enticing human persons to sin ... ". Celibacy itself is not enough to satisfy the obligation of submitting one's life to the exclusive service of God and Holy Mother Church; it must be accompanied by chastity in mind and body, else in concupisence one brings upon oneself the occasion of sin.
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ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Thu 8 Dec, 2005 07:55 pm
Well, from my miasmatic understanding of what I was taught, it was taught to us as no sex. Perhaps it was worded ambiguously as 'no marital relations'. But since relations outside of marriage were not ok, there you are.
Actually I have to remember more carefully. I was accepted as a postulant in 1959. I hesitate to say, that since I didn't have much clue about sex, even then, blush, though I did understand shivering when a surgical fellow put his finger on my wrist....
well, anyway, I didn't buy my 'shoes'. But my angst was not about sex, since I was so clueless, but about whether I had to be a nun to be a doctor.

(That is all too convolutedly complicated. But not, as it turns out, an entirely stupid question in 1959.).

That was then of course - I'm an adult now and understand many levels more of church and other history.

I look up def of celibacy in google and see all sorts of stuff. My old view, rather childlike, remember, was quite severe.
And seems to have fit with many others' views.
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nancyann Deren IOLA
 
  1  
Reply Fri 9 Dec, 2005 12:48 pm
Chastity and prayer
Celibacy and chastity must be connected with a very deep prayer life with the concecrated person under vows if one is to live a vowed life successfully! Prayer and meditation, spiritual reading on a daily basis, caring for one spiritual life--all these thing add up to making a life of chastity very happy and very fulfilling. We go to confession by our constitution "STATUTE" which we receive at the entrance of or novitiate which instructs us to go to confession often. This is to grow in faith and to stay close to God! We should all stay close to God no matter what our faith orientation!

We have a prayer book that all priest, sisters and laity pray in the whole Church pray daily called: LITURGY OF THE HOURS. It comes in one volume and 4 volumes. It really helps one to pray better. It really assists me to grow spiritually so as to deepen my life of chastity and life with Jesus, Master Way, Truth and Life! It is a beautiful book of prayers that all countries and culture around the world pray every day in the Catholic Church. You can purchase it from ALBAHOUSE! They can ship it to you! Anywhere in the world!

Without working on one's prayer life and oneself, nothing makes sense! Everyday is a challenge and a journey and even after all these years under vows! To make life a happy life and to make Chastity/Celibasy a happy life which it is, one must work on one's prayer life with Jesus and keep a clear conscience! Yes living a good life and trying so hard to keep the slate of life clean!

I try to life each day like this: Each morning is a clean slate no matter what the faults and failings and sins were the day before. I ask Jesus for forgiveness at night and each morning is a NEW DAY!

Talk to you tomorrow!

Nancyann Deren, IOLA
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timberlandko
 
  1  
Reply Fri 9 Dec, 2005 02:54 pm
Don't want to seem mean, but it appears to me a little like you're working as hard to convince yourself as you are at trying convince your audience.
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