Re: Boyfriend / Buying Property Quandary ... need advice
Thanks for showing up to help me.
I want to buy a house ... with my boyfriend ... and I want to protect myself.
Best way to protect yourself: Don't by the house with your boyfriend. Don't do ANYTHING jointly involving money with someone that you're not prepared to share your life with.
After my divorce in 1990 and losing my house, I decided not to ever own with anyone again.
If I buy a house and he moves in with me, I would expect him to pay rent, but that doesn't really seem fair to him.
Why not? If you buy the house and he moves in he should be considered a roomate. You're not married, what's his isn't yours and visa-versa. Keep it seperate, totally.
If we buy together, what happens if he defaults on his half? I'm assuming that I would have to make both payments. I'm also assuming I wouldn't be able to just evict him. And I'm assuming I wouldn't be able to sell it without his signature.
This is entirely dependant on who signs the contract. If you're name is on it solely, it's your house and you're responsible for it. It's not the same as when you were married and you both half everything.
What happens if he gets sued for all he's worth? Can they take my half of our house?
Again, depends upon who signs for the mortgage.
If we marry, I'm just concerned because he has prior debts and I don't want to be responsible for them.
If prior debts worry you, then you're not ready to remarry.
So am I doomed to living alone?
You're doomed to nothing that you don't choose. Make wise choices.
But what's happening now is that, he has an apartment, but he's here every night, so I feel that, even though I understand that he has an apartment, I'm paying all the bills for both of us.
I always seem to get sort of stuck in these types of scenarios, and well, I really need some ideas.
Idea #1: Quit dating losers.
Idea #2: Tell him straightforward that if he is to continue spending so much time at your place that you'd appreciate some help with the bills that he's racking up for you. If he refuses, start hanging out at his place more.
Maybe the only way I can get a guarrantee is to make sure we both pay cash for the house. But, then, I do wonder about the upkeep and taxes. I just don't want to be taken advantage of again.
You can't call it being taken advantage of when you make such a decidedly bad decision. If you break up and he winds up taking a bunch of stuff that's yours because you neglected to think the situation through then you pretty much deserve what you get.
My last boyfriend--a land rich, cash poor millionaire--had me paying for all the bills. It's a long story ... and I lost; when I finally left him I had less than nothing. I'm too old to take anymore chances on men and money. Need a plan.
Start helping yourself. You don't 'need' anyone. You can get by just fine on your own with a bit of financial advice from someone well versed in such things. Trying to plan your financial future on something as unstable as 'boyfriends' then you're never going to be secure. Ever. If you don't wish to remarry, then do yourself the courtesy of leaving every Tom Dick and Bob that come along out of your financial world.
Don't people buy property together all the time. Like investors or something? How can I work this out.
They sure do. They're called 'partners'. Or they're married. Don't try to force something that experience tells you won't work out. You wouldn't go into an investment office and ask to speak with the guy that's got the most personal debt, would you?