Sisterhood of Big-Footed Women & others forgotten by fashion

Testify, my friends, to the indignities suffered upon anyone who is not of cookie cutter size and shape and color. You need not be female in order to have suffered.

I am talking about the big, the petite, the tall, the short, the wide, the skinny, the swarthy, the pale, the big-footed, the narrow-footed, the short-waisted, etc. among us.

I am talking about you and me, not Barbie and Ken. I am talking about women who are not a size 4. And men who do not have a 30 inch waist.

I confess. I am a large woman. Not huge. I am not a house. But that's not what designers would think. They think, hmm, not a 2. Must ... charge ... more. Must ... make ... ugly ... clothes. Must ... make ... few ... or ... no ... choices. Must ... make ... shopping ... humiliating.

I do most of my shopping online or via catalog. I tend to venture into stores for shoes or if I am certain that something in my size and color preference is available. I shop a lot in men's, as the clothes tend to be made better, plus my feet are large (women's size 12, they're 11s on a good day, alternating St. Swithens' Days or something like that). Of course this is no good for work clothes. This is more for casual stuff. For work, I improvise a lot.

I'm pale. I'm what's called a Spring (as opposed to the other seasons of the year). This means that black really only looks good on me if it is glossy or far away from my face. It means that pure white is out. This means that autumnal colors are okay but not my best choice. It means I get saddled with some ice cream colors, which is okay for the summer, but can be hard to find for colder weather. And I live in New England, so autumn and winter clothes are more important than summer togs.

And it's not just about weight. After all, at my thinnest, I still wore a size 11 shoe. And I still had coloration problems, in terms of clothes available in pretty much any color other than ones that look good on me. There are just so many times I want to wear beige. Really. I'm funny that way.

So, testify, brothers and sisters, and share your finds. There must be a way to ease this pain. And be strong!

Repeating my ENTIRE RANT from Shewolf's wonderful "Punk-Ass" thread:

Dear PUNK-ASS Corporate Dress Code Enforcers and Female Clothing Manufacturers all over the world:

1) Pantyhose are evil. Not only are they always too short, the waists are so freakin' tight they're like torture devices. Eva was right-on here. And what's with Control Top anyway? I'm not even TALKIN Control Top here, just the ordinary kind that aren't supposed to control anything.

Are you afraid they're going to Fall Off if they're not made with those itty bitty waistbands? And what exactly makes you think all our Tops need to be Controlled? Why not just reintroduce the Corset with boning and get it overwith?

Not only that, haven't you ever been to Florida in the summertime? Just try walking across a parking lot wearing a set of these too-tight nasties and you get an Instant Yeast Infection!

And don't even get me started on what happens when you don't have A/C in your car and have to wear these things! Ugh, how awful it is to have these danged things actually pasted to your legs, which are now pasted to the plastic car seat, when you finally arrive at work, so you have to freakin' Peal Yourself Off just to get out of your car!

2) Slips, bras, and underwear are inherently uncomfortable. What the heck ever happened to COTTON? Are you afraid that if our skin can breathe it might be, what, STINKY or something? What's wrong with a cotton slip? How about Linen, which is Actually Cool in the summer.... has anyone EVER seen one of these items made from Linen?

Did women just Vote for the most uncomfortable underwear fabric ever invented... that is, Nylon, to be used for practically everything?

Do we have some sort of Debt to Society which must be paid with eternal Nylon underwear torture? Is there a woman alive who hasn't had Nylon (or Polyester, or Acetate) stuck to her body from neck to knee and just felt like ripping it all off and screaming?

3) Make-up! Sure, you SAID you invented make-up that wouldn't melt off your face in Florida heat, but you friggin' LIED! Then you SAID you invented make-up that wouldn't end up on every piece of paper you ever touched in the office, and you LIED AGAIN!

Is there some sort of ceremonial reason that little bits of make-up have to be wiped on every single bit of paper in every file in Corporate America?

Same thing with Nail Polish! Why the heck does it still come off on these same bits of paper? We can send a man to the moon, but we can't invent nail polish that doesn't look like you bled all over your latest presentation?

4) We do NOT all wear a Size 6 shoe! I wear a 9 1/2, yes, that's right, and last I heard it was PERFECTLY LEGAL to do so! Do you MAKE any shoes in that size? Oh, wait, yes, America has manufactured exactly TWO PAIRS of shoes in my size, and they're both incredibly ugly!

You think just because my feet are big, I don't want to look nice? Think tall women should look even more dorky than they already are? Think I should have surgery to make my feet smaller so I can wear all those itty bitty shoes that look like they're made for ancient Chinese foot-wrapped hobblers?



Whew! I feel better now.