I find it interesting how the guys here guess at the unmentioned aspect of the soon-to-be-ex. It's like a Rorschach Inkblot Test.
That being said, you've gotten a couple of good phases and tacts to guide you in the dumpage.
roger, lol! So true. It's the same one. And I did take a new job, but the old place begged me to stay, so I'm still here part time, and still doing the proofreading too, so now I have three jobs.
So ... what was your insight into dumping the boyfriend, anyway? Because I never said anything derogatory about him, that I recall.
The certificate will take a while to get and to pay for, so I'm way early for that. I'm thinking of taking two online classes, and then a better one on location in Houston. The program is monitored Cambridge University and is the best and is recognized the world over. No short cuts, this time. I'm reaching for the top.
And Japan pays the most and offers the most culturally that I could ask for, with the least culture shock that I would suffer and they are hiring the most teachers and I would be practically over certified for the position of my choice, which would be in a university on the southern half of the islands with a temperature comparable to Florida.
And I would be able to save the same amount of money there as I am currently saving here. And they pay for the relocation expenses.
I should be ready to be placed by May of next year, and still be able to do all that I want here before I go.
So, back to why you thought I should dump the boyfriend?
Would really like to know.
I was dead wrong in my other assumption, so let me just shove that other foot in my mouth...and assume that you really, really have gotten used to having the menfolk flock to you. And you really like it. Almost like an addiction.
What harm could it do to take a year off of relationships and just focus on you ?
Work on work. Work on friendships, and hidden talents you've always wanted to explore.
It sounds like you have a formidable head on your shoulders...
Japan sounds like a great option.
An opportunity to wipe the slate clean and go charging into the next chapter of your life.
Thanks for your good thoughts. I don't know what "assumption" you were talking about. I didn't get it, I guess.
Truthfully, I used to get pretty bent out of shape with the flocking-thing. I always felt I had to have one man, any man, to keep the rest of them away.
I would feel really insulted and betrayed when a male friend would want to cross that boundary and end up asking for more. And they always do. They will wait patiently--for years if they have to--and then, no sooner than the corpse is in the ground, they reveal their true intentions. It's like the last six years or so of our friendship had been a lie or something.
At my age now, I've come to accept it's a numbers game for men. They ask 10, 1 says yes. And it really doesn't have that much to do with me at all. I'm probably more visable than other women. That is, I'm just "out" more, is all. And I'm approachable and interested in almost everything, so it's easy to find something to talk about.
I've learned the signs, I can now give out the right ones a little sooner, so there's not usually that out and out awkward moment. But, there's always a bone-head out there who can't read the signs at all. Or refuses to.
I'm stuck on the hidden talents thing. I work three jobs, volunteer at the school for the blind, garden, play the piano, go to see live plays and operas, ride my bike, read on lots of different subjects, attend formal functions, practise yoga, hike through the woods, have some well educated, interesting friends who provide me with stimulating conversation from current events to physics and philosophy. I'm learning el espanol, and practise with my patient neighbors orginally from deep across the border, do my vocal warm-up and sing some jazz, and I get a deep tissue massage once a week.
I do feel that something is missing, but I'm not sure if learning how to play the harp--something I've always wanted to do--is going to be enough to fill that UNDEFINED, empty hole.
If I move across the world, will the "answer" be there?
Even if it isn't, I think I wouldn't be bored, like I am here. At least not for a year or two.
It would be a new carreer. I've never taught. And the landscape would provide some interesting flora and fauna and geological wonders!
And the architecture, well, when I read about it today in the encyclopedia, it's what I've been imagining for myself for a long time. Would love to see many examples of it up close and personal.
"If I move across the world, will the "answer" be there?"
The answer will NEVER be anywhere but your own heart and mind.
Not totally sure at this time, dupre, but I seem to recall an office skirmish, he had some peripheral culpability, and let you take the wrap for the whole thing. I may be dead wrong at this late date, but that's my best recollection.
That's about what I remember, too. There were some recounted conversations that had me mentally scowling at him.
Thanks, sozobe and roger. Y'all are always here when I need you.
The company brought in a new floor manager and they laid off my boyfriend, but they ended up firing the manager who complained about the inappropriate email.
LionTamerX, I guess I'll work toward the Japan-thing and also work on finding the answer if my own heart and mind--it's so Wizard of Oz-like!--so I'll be prepared for whatever choice I make.
BlaiseDaley, if it's half a relationship, I guess I'll let it fizzle rather than confront it head on, for now. No real harm done in waiting it out a little longer. The right time will hopefully present itself.
Thank you all for your well thought out responses.
I really do appreciate it, more than you could know!
Dupre: glad to have been of some assistance. Out of curiosity, how long have you two been an item? Do you think things will fizzle on their own?
Also, when you do make it to Japan, it'd be great if you could dig up some info on how well Japanese women like American men, ya know, just to be thorough.
BlaiseDaley, we've been dating since Oct 2003.
Been thinking about that fizzle thing. I'm not really sure how that would work.
After all this hooplah, I'm wondering if my discontent is just trying to get settled into my new job. My life has been a struggle for a long while, and now that struggle has stopped and I really don't know what to reach for.
I've had to start the "long-range" "plan" over so many times. I think I know what I don't want, but I'm not sure what I do want.
As for the boyfriend, I really couldn't say. He's a sweetie, but there is distance between us even when he's here because only part of him is here, and I won't put up with that because I just don't have the time.
Thanks for asking!