Original Poem: 'Pale Spring'

Ah, jjorge. How enchanting, your "Pale Spring". I love the line "...their leaves clinched tight...."

This is your best yet, my friend. Keep the original writing alive, jjorge. It is quite difficult for me to do now. edgar is still hanging in, too.

Hi Letty!

Thanks for dropping by. As usual you are too kind.

People like you are the reason I wish I had more time to hang out on A2k.

"And surly trees
refuse their part,
Their leaves clenched tight
in buds ungiving,
They know no joy
in love or living,
A colder, paler Spring
Since you depart,
The air warms slowly

and the heart. "


Jjorge - I really love the part I've quoted here. And I like the image the title gives and your description within the poem of a "colder, paler Spring". An image of Spring that I could immediately "feel" from past experience, but that is not often used in poetry.

jjorge
Your writing continues to satisfy. I recognize the locale, which is much different than anything we experience in east Texas.

re: Paler Spring
Hi Jjorge,

this is lovely!
Your poem is a fine example of exogenous emotion...
everything is colored through such a forlorn lens that Nature herself cannot but mirror your plaint.
This is writ with a most enviable economy of expression... so surely and succinctly you depict that titular Paler Spring.

I'm glad I read this one. Thank you.

aidan, edgar, dilvish,

thank you for taking the time to comment.

very good. Poetry is a bitch with which to connect. You do it well.

Ditto, jjorge- my pale spring personified!
You said it so well.

Jjorge! Thanks for pointing me here. It has a very nice rhythm and a perfectly spring-like bittersweet sentiment. I cannot believe a magazine wouldn't publish this. Have you sent it in?? <looks over specs to emphasize point>

No I haven't. I guess I'm collecting my poems so I can send them all together and get one BIG turndown instead of 'the death of a thousand cuts'.*





*Just joking. I'm not really that self pitying.
your generous praise means a lot though, especially because it comes from you.

Ah, this little poem is a gem. Nice one jjorge.

(as an aside...you don't need to say that it's an original poem, this is the forum for original work already)

Thanks for the kind words Stuh.

I know its redundant to say it's an original poem, but for some odd reason the redundancy pleases me.
If you check you'll see that I have done the same with all of my more recent poems.


P.S.
I really like your signature line! (probably because it's outrageous)


P.P.S.
You seem like a really bright fellow* what year of school are you in?







* you are a fellow, right?

Hahaha, thanks

I've just finished my junior year of college at the university of vermont. I am a dual major in computer science and studio art, with a minor in electrical engineering. This summer, I'll be heading down to Texas A&M where I'll be doing artificial intelligence research.

And yes, I'm a fellow.