THE IRISH CRUSADER

This is a sad story and I hope you'll all feel sympathy for the hero:

THE KNIGHT ERRANT:

"Oh, say gentle maiden, may I be your lover
Condemn me longer to moan and to weep
Struck down like a hawk I lie wounded and bleeding,
Oh, let down your Drawbridge and I'll enter your Keep".

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THE GENTLE MAIDEN:

"Alas, Gentle Errant, I am no Maiden
I'm married to Sir Oswald, that Cunning old Celt
He's gone to th wars for 12 months or longer
And he's taken the keys to my Chastity Belt".

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THE KNIGHT ERRANT:

"Fear not, Gentle Lady for I know a locksmith
To his shop we will go, on his door we will knock
And try to avail of his specialist knowledge
And see if he's able to unpick your lock".

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THE LOCKSMITH:

"Alas Sir and Madam, to help I'm unable
My technical knowledge is to no avail
I can't find the secret to your combination
For the Cunning old Bastard has fitted a Yale".

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SIR OSWALD - THE CUNNING OLD CELT:

"I come from the wars with dire news of disaster
A terrible mishap I have to confide
As my ship was passing the Straits of Gibraltar
I carelessly dropped the key over the side."

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THE GENTLE LADY:

Alas and Alack I am locked up forever
Then up spoke the Page Boy, "Leave it to me",
If you will allow me to enter your Chamber
I'll open it up with my duplicate key."

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