Thank you for sharing. This is what I need to hear :-D You da man ;-)
Er, did you say 32 hours, Montana? I think you were accidentally in Sadist Hospital, where no painkillers are available for anyone. Jeez!
I've never had a child, but I remember my mother (who had 5) telling me the only good thing about childbirth was how easy it was to forget the pain afterwards. She claimed that we do not remember pain all that well, as some sort of protective mechanism... or so it happened in her case. She was lucky!
As for your cousin & his wife, I'm having a bit of trouble thinking of ways he can learn to be a better person, not to mention a better husband. I think the vacation idea is excellent.... but would he go along with it? Can she get away for even a long weekend, perhaps, whether he likes it or not? I imagine he'll only know what it's like to care for a 5-year-old and an infant if he actually does it.
I knew a woman who put her 6-month-old (only) child in daycare, 40 hrs a week, even though she did not have a job at all. This child turned into the most horrific screaming brat you could imagine, and I hardly think it's the kid's fault.
That aside, can she arrange for one-day-a-week daycare for the 2 of them? That will at least help with her sense of helplessness/isolation, which I can only imagine is part of the problem. Even an afternoon a week would probably help.
As for weekends, what if she just tells hubby, I'm Going Out Now, seeya? Just for a few hours, to be a person instead of a mom, every single weekend. Or in the evenings, can she get out by herself or with friends?
He doesn't have to LIKE being a father, but he won't be able to escape the fact that he IS a father.
Mom's night out is a great idea!
Back when the kids were little, Wednesday was "Dad's day to cook".
Translation: Dad will pick up take out on the way home. After supper the
bride went out for the evening. It helped her maintain her sanity and
gave me chance to get closer to the kids.
No pain killers for this gal!
I know my cousins wife could take off any time she wanted and leave him with the kids for a weekend, leaving him no choice, but for some reason she doesn't. Maybe she's just not comfortable leaving her children. I know that when my son was little, I couldn't have left him either. I remember being very protective of my son and leaving him with his father was something I would have never done.
Granted, my ex was a jerk, but I can see how she would be reluctant leaving the kids with my cousin as well.
Er, maybe there's some stuff we don't know about your cousin? After all, silly me, I think, "Who could take better care of them than their own father?" Well, except maybe grandparents, who usually spoil them rotten (big generalization there, sorry).
But if she doesn't feel comfortable leaving the kids with her husband, she really IS trapped. Is he really that bad? If he mistreats the kids or her, that's a whole 'nuther ball of wax, or ball of stuff much worse than wax....
That's just awesome :-D
No no, he's not that bad at all. He would never mistreat his kids. It's just that since he doesn't partake much in the raising of the kids, I don't think she feels comfortable leaving the kids with him for long periods of time.