quick responses/put downs

Vivien, I've occasionally come up with a snappy retort at the right moment. But I can't remember any right now. My mind ain't what it used to be.

Painting is relaxing? I took a painting class to help me relax. The tense knot between my shoulders told me I was in the wrong place for relaxing.

If I remember a snappy response, I'll be back.

My favorite is, "I'm underwhelmed"!

Apropos of painting. We had an artist friend. We asked him what he thought about a painting we had bought, and his reply was, "It's charming".

At the time we were a bit upset, but over the years it has become a family expression, to indicate when we are "underwhelmed" with something!

It must be so relaxing,painting.
Tell me, is it relaxing having no brain?

OTOH, you can always call them on a putdown rather than sinking to their level.

For example, whenever someone tries to belittle you, simply ask why they felt the need to do that. You can certainly rephrase that, but the idea is to toss their nastiness back in their face rather than responding in kind.

Generally, it leaves the nasty ones taken aback and sometimes they even apologize.

Good advice.
I had the idea a while back of not saying anything, then the last thing they said would resound in the air making them feel stupider and stupider.

Thank you, materialgirl. Yes, simply letting their stupidity stand, thereby implying its lack of importance, is also a great way not to sink to their level. :wink:

I agree with that if there was an intentional put down - but the put down of 'painting must be so relaxing' is just such a mind boggling lack of understanding that I am left speechless! I need a way of conveying that without being toooo offensive!

I understand what you mean perfectly, Vivian, but damned if I can come up with a clever, snappy response. Sorry.

Vivien

May I assume that you're a painter, professionally? In which case:

"I think it will be more relaxing after I'm dead and my true worth will be better understood! I just hope I can earn enough while I'm alive to fund my painting into old age and produce a decent body of work for others to appreciate while I relax."

KP

Vivien- I understand why you can be miffed when someone says that painting is "relaxing". IMO they are saying that out of stupidity, not cruelty. If it were me, I would come up with a snappy retort, like,

"Yeah, about as relaxing as running uphill on a mountain"!

Painting is about as relaxing as having your nipples twisted like doorknobs....not so much.

vivian--

You could smile sweetly and say, "Perhaps I'm an exception, but I find painting heightens all my senses and increases my awareness of the world. Are you thinking, perhaps, of art-as-therapy?"

Hmmmm.....

Yes, it is relaxing. Very much like banking (insert their profession here) I understand.

or....

I understand turpentine has that effect on many people but frankly it just gives me a headache.

or.....

<thinking>

When all else fails, pull out the Dorothy Parker quotebag:

You could

<sigh>

and

<turn>

and

<mutter>

You can lead a whore to culture but you can't make her think.

Sometimes things are better left unsaid Viven.

My favorite ' put down' is to say absolutly nothing...
just stare. Never loose eye contact. Dont say anything, dont flinch, dont even laugh.

just stare..


being stared at makes people feel creepy . Espically when they KNOW they were trying to insult you.
Silence can be a deadly weapon with dumb a$s people.
Works for me. Espically considering, I cant think of good things to say back to someone either. ;-)
When you dont speak, you take away thier power. Even staring is hard sometimes too.. at least to do it effectively.
I just focus on a booger ( seriously!) or the small eyelashes, the crook of thier nose.. SOMETHING close to thier eyes so I am always looking into thier eyes but not really concentrating too hard.
Frustrates the hell outta people lemme tell ya...

<---- me staring RIGHT NOW!!!!

It was until they started paying me for it.

Ahh, the key to a good one-liner is timing and context. Having a bunch memorized is just wrong, they'll be ineffective.

"Painting must be so relaxing."

"Yes it is, especially when I'm comatose. So, what are your 'hobbies' <sarcastic tone>, welding and small engine repair?"

Another good technique is to just change the subject by saying something like, "so how are your kids, do you know where they are?"

From the opposite perspective.

You call that painting? I made something like that once using a dead cat and a piece of drywall.