The light-bulb needs changing - bring on the.....

How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to change the bulb and two to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.

How many sound men does it take to change a light bulb?

"One, two, one, two..."

How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb up the ladder, one to kick the ladder out from under her and a third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."

How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. It's a hardware problem.

How many Java programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

One, to generate a "ChangeLightBulb" event to the socket.

How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.

How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Of course, as everyone knows, just five years ago all it took was a bunch of kids in a garage in Palo Alto to change a light bulb.

How many psychoanalysts does it take to change a light bulb?

"How many do you think it takes?"

How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but the light bulb really has to want to change.

How many film directors does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but everyone says that his last light bulb was much better.

How many librarians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"I don't know, but I can look it up for you."

How many tax advisors does it take to change a light bulb?

"This Summer there's a Tax Deductible Convention in Hawaii, dealing exactly with this issue."

How many radio astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They are not interested in that short wave stuff.

How many economists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The invisible hand does it.

How many economists does it take to change a light bulb?

First you assume the existence of a ladder....

Yea, but how many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?

Golden Retriever The sun is shining, the day is young, we have our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a light bulb?

Border Collie Just one. And I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code!

Dachshund I can't even reach the stupid lamp.

Toy Poodle I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he's finished rewiring my house, my nails will be dry.

Rottweiler Go ahead! Make me!

Shi-tzu Puh-leeze dah-ling, let the servants...

Labrador Oh me, me, pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I, can I, huh, huh, can I?!

Malamute Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he's changing it.

Cocker Spaniel Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

Doberman Pinscher While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch.

Mastiff Mastiff's are NOT afraid of the dark.

Hound Dog ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

Chihuahua Yo quiero taco bulb.

Pointer I see it , there it is, it's right there...

Greyhound It isn't moving, who cares?

Australian Shepherd Put all the light bulbs in a little circle...

How many Borg does it take to change a lightbulb?

All of them. One to change the bulb and the rest to assimilate General Electric

How many male chauvenists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Let her cook in the dark.

How many Zen masters does it take to change a light bulb?
Two: One to change the bulb and one not to change it.