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Tue 9 Nov, 2004 08:15 am
I met this really cool girl at the mall last night. Her name is Anastasia and she is, like, really cool. She was working at a kiosk selling like these buttons or something and when I walked by she looked up at me and, like, smiled and shit like that.
I glanced at the ground -- I was soooooo nervous, but then, like, I looked up and she was still smiling and I, you know, like, asked her out, and she said as soon as she's done working maybe we could, like, get a malt or something.
Then, later, we were sipping the malt, sharing straws, and looking into each others eyes and all of a sudden she, like, lets out this really loud and offensive sounding fart. I was so embarrassed I could have died.
I ran from the store, like, crying and shit, and she yelled, "Don't go, Gus, it will never happen again!"
So, should I give her another chance or do you think the risk of dating a flatulent woman would cause problems that could never be resolved?
I am so, like, mixed up right now. Please help.
Re: I don't know what to do! Please help me!
gustavratzenhofer wrote:I ran from the store.
Sounds familiar.
Buy her some Beano and wrap it up in a beautiful gold box with lovely ribbons. As she opens it sing that song 'Windy', you know the one-
"And WINDY has stormy eyes,
that flash at the stormy skies-..................that song.
If this dosen't cement a bond between the two of you then I'll eat my hat.
Keep us posted, we care.
Oh wow! Thanks, paula. You're really cool.
Let me get this straight Gus...you live by the swamp and wear the same bib overhauls day after day...you raise the capybaras in your house instead of the barnÂ…and you're offended by someone farting?
You should be so lucky...ask her out again Gus.
A girl that will fart around you or allow you to fart around her on the first date is worth her weight in gold....a regular gal...this is a girl who won't think twice about giving you that good night blow job after a night of heavy square dancing down at the VFW no matter how sweaty your balls are.....this one's a keeper Gus...
Oh, colorbook and bear, you two are just the greatest!
Do you really think I might get a blowjob, Bear?
That is so cool.
It's almost xmas, he could decorate a little tree just for her with little beano bottles hanging from it. And just as an added bonus he could glue some breath mints to the limbs. It's important to go the extra mile when it comes to a loved one.
I see a BJ in your future, lucky guy! <wipes tears of joy>
Slip the caller a buck and have him make "Crazy" the last dance of the night....she'll be putty in your hands.......just make sure you're not putty in her mouth, if you take my meaning....
paulaj wrote:It's almost xmas, he could decorate a little tree just for her with little beano bottles hanging from it. And just as an added bonus he could glue some breath mints to the limbs. It's important to go the extra mile when it comes to a loved one.
what am I missing here paula...use the mints like suppositories and fart through them?
Bi-Polar Bear wrote:
what am I missing here paula...use the mints like suppositories and fart through them?
No no no, it's just an added bonus. Wouldn't it make you happy if your honey did that for you?
It's beautiful.
I don't know...if she was real gentle and kissed me while she did it maybe.....
Bi-Polar Bear wrote:I don't know...if she was real gentle and kissed me while she did it maybe.....
And then ripped your clothes off and had mad circus sex in front of all the neighbors? Like that?
she would have to have at least some of the clothes off me to get the mints nserted to begin with paula (this stuff just isn't as hilarious when I have to explain it)
Let me understand this: someone farted in your presence, and you didn't counter-fart?
I farted once while a girl in Lynchburg Va was giving me head and before I even had a chance to apologize she cocked her leg up and let out a ripper you could hear for blocks.....and never broke her concentration on the job a hand.......I would have married her right away, but she was already married to a friend of mine who was out of town.......
let us know how it goes Gus, she sounds like she could be a fun gal to fart around with.....
Bi-Polar Bear wrote:let us know how it goes Gus, she sounds like she could be a fun gal to fart around with.....
That was
poor ................................but aptly put, well done.
Bi-Polar Bear wrote:I farted once while a girl in Lynchburg Va was giving me head and before I even had a chance to apologize she cocked her leg up and let out a ripper you could hear for blocks.....and never broke her concentration on the job a hand....
Hmm, sounds like she was a .......................
professional.
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