Please explain to me what happened. :( Thank you.

Hi. I could really use some help trying to understand what really happened and how badly I messed up. I apologise for the long post, but I needed to explain in detail each situation.

My bf of two months left me about a month ago. It was a very short relationship but a very intense one (in a way). Let me explain.

I met him through a mutual friend, had heard wonderful stories about him and we instantly clicked. I could tell immediately he really liked me. That was probably what I liked most about him when we first met. We spent a lovely day in nature and I felt very comfortable around him. Not even a week later, he and I were going out alone for the first time. It was so easy to talk to him, everything about him I liked apart from him coming on a bit too strong with what he wanted to do with me in six or seven months' time. I thought it was a bit too soon and rash to mention this to a girl you had just met. But I didn't think it was creepy, rather childlike, playful and potentially unstable.

On our third outing we decided to start officially dating. Again, he immediately asked me if I wanted to make it social network official, called me his gf and asked me which date we should make the official beginning of our relationship. He was excited like a child (he's a grown man), put how he felt on social media instantly. This was my first mistake - I kind of let him run the show. I don't really mind not being in charge, but I was utterly confused by our situation - and I will tell you why.

On our third date he had warned me he would be super busy for the next few months and if I wanted to postpone the beginning of our relationship. I found this strange a bit but said no, I wanted to try. So we did. And honestly I had no idea how challenging it would get. For the first couple of times we saw each other for a two hour walk over the weekend (so a walk per week). Mind you, we lived like twenty min away from each other, not that very far away. And the one time the weather was really bad, he implied we could postpone meeting as we couldn't really walk around (again, there were other things to do apart from walking around and I found this strange, so either a walk or nothing?). The third time I had gone through a minor surgery and didn't want to walk around. He did suggest it but I asked him to come over instead. He canceled about an hour prior to coming over due to really poor health situation (this is where I tell you he has a lot of serious health issues, including some really nasty headaches). In the middle of me replying to him my phone died and by the time I found the charger and turned on my phone, he had already replied he would come over after going to the ER. My interpretation was he got scared I got upset and turned off my phone. The rhetoric was strange, he seemed terrified to lose me from day one. He ended up coming over, we had a blast, we kissed, ate dinner, watched a movie and he called this day one of the best days of his life. I told him he could come over as much as he wanted to, I would cook for him, massage his head, cuddle, leave him be and work in the other room. I just wanted to start establishing this closeness he was already mentioning in his texts.

Then he went on a business trip and allegedly got me a present (I say allegedly because I have never actually received this present). By this time we were talking marriage, kids and stuff and yes, I was wrong for allowing his rhetoric to go as fast as it did, I was nowhere near feeling all these feelings, and to be honest, I didn't think he was either. He was definitely infatuated with the idea, but it seemed rushed and forced to me. Again, not that I couldn't get to the point of being in love, but I was nowhere near that. I allowed him to take control completely and told myself I felt all these things. Heck! I said it to my friends too.

The first real incident in our relationship happened on his bday. Let me explain. I had asked him on several occasions IF he wanted to do something for his bday. He sometimes said yes to doing something with me and his friends, sometimes just the two of us, but not doing anything wasn't really on the table. By this time I had realised that he would always give himself a bit of a buffer: I will let you know....I might not be able to make it....I'll try to recover and meet you in an hour.... So I was being careful about not demanding anything. But since he said he did want to do something, the day before I went to town to get him the perfect present, a card and some decorations. At 3 pm I sent him a text asking him when we would meet the following day - I got no response. At midnight I texted him again wishing him a happy birthday but also telling him I don't understand why he ignored my text (as he had been active on social media I could tell he was online) and we could discuss this later. In the morning I got an essay on my phone about how insecure I am, how people need to be confident in order for a relationship to work and how he doesn't like threats (as I said we could discuss it later). He also told me he had taken some heavy medication and wasn't able to reply (for 19 hours??). He also told me he knew I was at a concert that evening and didn't want to bother me. Lastly, he said he had forgotten about this project thing he had to do that day but I could go on his social media and check that he wasn't lying. He should have messaged me prior to taking the meds as he had told me we would do something on his bday, even for like half an hour. He kind of apologised, even though he would later on use this situation to establish a pattern of me attacking him.

Then we went out for coffee and this is where he told me very casually we would not be together for our one month anniversary as he had a business dinner. I understood that this had been planned well in advance and wasn't upset about that, rather the fact he was very casual about it(I didn't mention it though). i began to wonder what my rights were in this relationship and whether I had the right to feel like his behavior was not ok. All of our plans were kind of on the go, casual, after work, before something else, and this started to bother me quite a lot.

Incident number two happened about a week and a half later. I asked him to do something over the weekend (this had started to cause anxiety as I never knew if I would see him or he would just cancel). I should also mention that during a (yet another) walk we took he had informed me of some psychological issues he had been diagnosed with, which meant he was on meds every day and sometimes very unresponsive. I didn't get a lot more from him, instead he asked me to discuss this with his close friend (a man whom at this stage I hadn't even met). Anyway, I ask him to come over Friday, he postpones it for Saturday, Saturday morning I text him if we'll see each other that evening and he tells me to go to my friend's party and we will meet tomorrow evening. Tomorrow he goes on a hike (he had asked me to join, but due to my surgery I wasn't allowed any heavy physical activity and he did warn me it would be proper hiking). Saturday afternoon he did text me and asked me if i was having fun (presumably at this party I was going to), to which I responded I was still getting ready to go. So Sunday evening comes, he's back from his hike and asks me if I want to go out and grab something to eat. I say I would much rather prefer staying in. Another half an hour later I get a text something malfunctioned in his apartment and he can't come over and he'll make it up to me tomorrow. I got upset, I really did. I asked him why he waited until the last minute to come over. He said he had in fact come over yesterday but when I told him I was going to party he turned around and left. This made no sense as he did tell me to go to this party earlier that day. So why would he even try to come over that afternoon? It.made.no.sense. A few days later he texted me telling me he was having second thoughts about being in a relationship, he really liked me but wasn't sure he was ready. I foolishly told him we could work on it.

I started thinking that maybe his problems were a lot more severe and prevented him from wanting to be with me in a specific situation, as in for more than an hour and a half alone. Most of our meet ups were on his terms and this got really annoying really fast. The thing that made everything a lot more confusing is that I would get the sweetest messages from him, he would post about me on social networks with so much love but when I would try to keep a message convo going, he would normally cut it short by saying that he was tired, busy or he would just stop replying. I had no idea what to think. He was very good at keeping up with the idea we were dating, but then when I would want a bit more substance, I wouldn't get it. Yes, we walked, yes we talked about our kids' names and stuff, but it all seemed rushed and forced and I am not saying this was all his fault but when I would want him around in a more intimate environment, he would either cancel or almost cancel - and accuse me of being insecure or dramatic.

The final incident was kind of two-folded. It hurts me especially because before Christmas he took me to his office party and was so proud to show me around and introduce me to his colleagues. Right after Christmas we were (trying) to have a chat via messages (even though I had asked him to call me instead of text me) and he again - stopped, in the middle of our chat he just disappeared. He then later posted stuff on social networks, so I knew he was online again, so why not reply to my innocent question? Some of you might think this was petty or obsessive - but this was the ONLY way and time we communicated, and yes, I had asked him numerous times to make our communication a bit more substantial. I got upset and told him it would be polite to reply to his gf. To this he started attacking me that he was going through one of his episodes (this was the day after, so it had nothing to do with him cutting our convo short the day before), I was the only one making him feel f***ing guilty and if his world didn't revolve around me, sh** would happen. I was really hurt by this and withdrew a bit. He later messaged me as if nothing had happened and then the day after he cancelled our New Year's via a text, hinting at, but not being specific about what was going on. He did apologise and said I meant a lot to him, but I had had enough. I texted him that he had broken me, that he was a liar and a coward and that this time I did want him to feel like sh**. Then he texted me the specific reason why he needed to cancel, which, if true, was perfectly legit. I felt so bad, I apologised, but it was too late. After a two hour conversation where I tried to explain some things to him, he told me I had verbally abused him and he can't get over it. He also told me I had a pattern of attacking him and he wasn't going to have it anymore. He tried so hard for this relationship and this is what I did. He proceeded to imply some nasty things about me on his social network and told me he would never be with me again, He said I had lied to him about being confident (never happened) and he had invested so much into this relationship and now it was all for nothing.

Can someone please help? Thank you.