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I need thoughts and opinions

 
 
Reply Tue 17 Jan, 2017 04:52 pm
I have lied to my girlfriend about something terrible. I recently confessed to it and to all the lies that led up to it. I had been talking to my ex girlfriend who I only see as a friend and only have ever seen as a friend after our breakup. My ex and I haven't dated in 3 years and my ex is with someone else as I am as well. Early in the relationship with my girlfriend and I, we were browsing on social media and she saw a picture of my ex and I. She questioned me about who it was and I told her it was a friend. It was beyond stupid of me to lie about that. I lied because I didn't think she wouldn't understand why we still talked. It does seem crazy to be friends with an ex, but my ex was there for me as a friend only. Months later, before I confessed to my girlfriend about still being friends with and talking my ex, I had told her she was a best friend in my phone. I told her she was another best friend from home in fact. (Even more stupid) I dug my hole deeper. To make matters worse I had my ex portray messages as to being the other friend, that was my "best friend from home". Before I lied again and made matters even more worse I confessed to my girlfriend about everything. I completely betrayed my girlfriend and lied several times about talking to my ex. I never lied about anything else in our whole relationship especially to lie about something so stupid and not worth it was the dumbest decision I've ever made in my life. I told my ex to stop contact with me again and that our friendship was over. I have apologized and owned up to every lie I told my girlfriend about this situation with my ex. It was completely wrong and I should've told her from the beginning. I should of never tried to stay friends with my ex during our relationship. It wasn't worth all the hurt I caused her and myself for being dishonest and betraying her like that. I have to earn her trust, respect, love all over again to make this work and I to be forgiven by her. I know I'll have to work really hard for her forgiveness and trust again. I love her and I shouldn't of lied to her about something so stupid. I think she is beyond worth trying to mend this. I know it'll take time to mend things and for us to heal from this. Should I continue this relationship? Should I try to make it work even knowing it's not going to be easy? Thoughts and opinions would be greatly appreciated.
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Type: Question • Score: 2 • Views: 1,269 • Replies: 6
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PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Tue 17 Jan, 2017 05:37 pm
Geez. Stop beating yourself up.

You love your ex but are not in love with her. You are with your present GF. Remind her of that.

Id like to talk to my ex but he's married and I don't dare go there. He was a good friend. But friends come and go. I can live with this.

Besides, remember why she's the ex.
uwe125
 
  0  
Reply Wed 18 Jan, 2017 07:05 pm
@PUNKEY,
I think you should list all those lies you've told your GF. Than think about it and when you have a nice moment you can confess, maybe not all of them at once but one at the time.
xoslaughterxo
 
  1  
Reply Wed 18 Jan, 2017 07:39 pm
@uwe125,
Ive fessed up and told her all the lies. I just wanted to know if the relationship is worth saving knowing that its not going to be easy. I think shes worth it though, I just wanted opinions. Ive already ended the friendship with my Previous EX
xoslaughterxo
 
  1  
Reply Wed 18 Jan, 2017 07:40 pm
@PUNKEY,
My GF knows and Ive already stopped communication with my Ex.
vikorr
 
  2  
Reply Thu 19 Jan, 2017 05:51 am
@xoslaughterxo,
Why on earth is it wrong to be friends with an ex? Don't you see many worthwhile qualities in her? Is she behaving inappropriately? Is she disrespectful to your current girlfriend? What is it that is wrong about her being your friend?

Granted, it may make things more difficult if your current girlfriend is insecure (and lots of people are insecure), but that doesn't make it wrong.

You probably shouldn't have lied, and at the same time, it's human to worry about these things - and to make sometimes hurtful choices because of our worries and fears...but you weren't trying to hurt her, so stop beating yourself up. Admit that your decisions, based in fear, ended up hurting her, apologise, and don't lie about those things again. But don't beat yourself up, over and over - you don't deserve that, at all.
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izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Tue 24 Jan, 2017 06:26 am
@xoslaughterxo,
xoslaughterxo wrote:
I just wanted to know if the relationship is worth saving knowing that its not going to be easy.


Nobody here can tell you that. You're the only person who knows that.
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