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Tense Question

 
 
Reply Thu 5 Jan, 2017 10:16 pm
My story is in 1st person, present tense, but I'm wondering if it is okay to throw in past tense for emphasis. Here's the sentence in question (remember, it's surrounded by present-tense sentences):

...standing before me was the epitome of a tall, dark stranger indeed.
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Type: Question • Score: 0 • Views: 265 • Replies: 14

 
roger
 
  1  
Reply Thu 5 Jan, 2017 10:47 pm
@krsrwriter,
Sure
0 Replies
 
nacredambition
 
  1  
Reply Fri 6 Jan, 2017 12:30 am
@krsrwriter,
Indeed, I'm not that familiar with sentences that start with an ellipsis followed by lower case but it occurs to be that your sentence that commences with "standing" sounds horribly like present tense.
roger
 
  4  
Reply Fri 6 Jan, 2017 12:32 am
@nacredambition,
I think the op just didn't want to burden us with the entire sentence.
nacredambition
 
  1  
Reply Fri 6 Jan, 2017 12:33 am
@roger,
Notwithstanding.
roger
 
  1  
Reply Fri 6 Jan, 2017 01:06 am
@nacredambition,
Didn't you mean ". . . notwithstanding"?
dalehileman
 
  -1  
Reply Fri 6 Jan, 2017 03:05 pm
@roger,
Still Rog everything seems to get more involved and complex
Krs you need a clearer q and mebbe also some context
...for the Average a2k Fussbudget and Ignoramus (me)
dalehileman
 
  -2  
Reply Fri 6 Jan, 2017 05:04 pm
@krsrwriter,
Krs I'm tense for a resspomnse
0 Replies
 
krsrwriter
 
  1  
Reply Fri 6 Jan, 2017 11:20 pm
@dalehileman,
Sure. The following is more complete:

"Startled, I look over. Standing before me was the epitome of a tall, dark stranger indeed. He takes my hand and gives it a firm shake."

I feel I've heard past tense thrown into a sentence like this for emphasis, but I can't recall where specifically and wanted to get some opinions/thoughts.
0 Replies
 
centrox
 
  1  
Reply Sat 7 Jan, 2017 02:45 am
"The epitome of" and "indeed" are saying the same thing and one of them needs to go. Otherwise you have redundancy and the sentence is over-written.
dalehileman
 
  -1  
Reply Sat 7 Jan, 2017 01:17 pm
@centrox,
Quote:
are saying the same thing
No offense but I'd disagree, Cen; there's a subtle factor depending upon context. If earlier someone had asserted that he had only supposed that tall, dark fella to have appeared, then the "indeed" confirms his supposition The a2k Hopeless Fussbudgets (of whom I'm the leader) will agree most wholeheartedly
0 Replies
 
centrox
 
  1  
Reply Sat 7 Jan, 2017 02:44 pm
Dale, you are getting worse. Big time.
dalehileman
 
  0  
Reply Sat 7 Jan, 2017 02:47 pm
@centrox,
Cen I've no excuse whatever

Writer (whom I'd always thought myself also, with only the most recent of doubts): Would you agree

...'nutherwds, did I make any sense at all that time...
0 Replies
 
krsrwriter
 
  1  
Reply Sat 14 Jan, 2017 11:20 am
@centrox,
"are saying the same thing" "you have redundancy" "the sentence is over-written"

LOL, I see what you did there. Funny.
nacredambition
 
  1  
Reply Sun 15 Jan, 2017 01:31 am
@krsrwriter,
Quote:
LOL, I see what you did there. Funny.


He's our best straight man.
0 Replies
 
 

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