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DESPERATE HELP FOR ENGLISH EDITING INTRO

 
 
Reply Fri 23 Dec, 2016 12:04 am
Hi guys have assignment due soon a couple of hours left. I want you guys to read my intro and if possible the rest of my essay. It would be a big help Smile.

A subplot is when multiple characters in a story and their lives are intervened, so it creates a parallel between their lives that further dramatize the actions in the play as well as highlighting underlying themes. The play “King Lear” written by William Shakespeare is about a king who divides his kingdom based on a love ceremony, which results in his youngest daughter banished from his kingdom; choosing his elder daughters over Cordelia. This parallels to the life of the earl of Gloucester as who banishes his son Edmund choosing one child over the other. King Lear specifically emphasizes a complex subplot to further dramatize the play as it contrasts the fragmentation of the two protagonist’s life King Lear and Gloucester, which is seen through the roles each character played. This is seen through the characters of Lear and Gloucester, Cordelia and Edmund, and Regan, Goneril and Edmund.
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Type: Discussion • Score: 0 • Views: 198 • Replies: 14
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Twinks082000
 
  1  
Reply Fri 23 Dec, 2016 12:12 am
@Twinks082000,
Please if anyone has anything I am so close to breaking down. As my teacher has not been here for a few days to edit when he promised. This is worth a lot even a small comment if its fine is helpful. Smile Sad
Blickers
 
  1  
Reply Fri 23 Dec, 2016 12:38 am
@Twinks082000,
OK, here's a small thing.

Quote:
A subplot is when multiple characters in a story and their lives are intervened

I believe the word you want is "intertwined".

The rest of it, at first glance at 1 AM, seems to be all right.
0 Replies
 
Blickers
 
  1  
Reply Fri 23 Dec, 2016 12:41 am
OK,here's another.

Quote:
so it creates a parallel between their lives that further dramatize the actions in the play as well as highlighting underlying themes.

Parallel, being singular, would require the word dramatizes, not dramatize.
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Blickers
 
  1  
Reply Fri 23 Dec, 2016 12:43 am
Also:
Quote:
This parallels to the life of the earl of Gloucester as who banishes his son Edmund choosing one child over the other.


Should be: This parallels the life of the Earl of Gloucester who banished his son Edmund, choosing one child over the other.
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Blickers
 
  1  
Reply Fri 23 Dec, 2016 12:47 am
Another:

Quote:
King Lear specifically emphasizes a complex subplot to further dramatize the play as it contrasts the fragmentation of the two protagonist's life King Lear and Gloucester,


Better: King Lear specifically emphasizes a complex subplot to further dramatize the play as it contrasts the fragmentation of the two protagonists' lives, King Lear and Gloucester.

Then put a period after Gloucester.
0 Replies
 
Blickers
 
  1  
Reply Fri 23 Dec, 2016 12:50 am
Also:
Quote:
which is seen through the roles each character played. This is seen through the characters of Lear and Gloucester, Cordelia and Edmund, and Regan, Goneril and Edmund.


All this needs to be cleaned up and made clearer and shorter.
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Twinks082000
 
  1  
Reply Fri 23 Dec, 2016 05:17 am
@Twinks082000,
Thank you guys so much for the help! Smile If you guys and gals on the internet can do one more favor for me that would be super ! So my topic about the book King Lear the topic is King Lear and Gloucester: Parallel Plots, Parallel characters a compare and contrast 8 paragraph essay. If you can so kindly edit this paragraph that I am going to compare it to. Its King Lear madness being compared to Gloucester figurative madness.


Lear loses his sanity as a result of his daughter’s treatment toward him drives him into madness. As the rising force of the play, when Lear’s daughter leaves him in the storm, where he realizes what he had done; Lear goes into frenzy and blames himself and battling nature for what he had done, so his problems would be fixed. “ I never gave you kingdom, call'd you children, You owe me no subscription: then let fall Your horrible pleasure: here I stand, your slave ,A poor, infirm, weak, and despised old man :But yet I call you servile ministers, That have with two pernicious daughters join'd Your high engender'd battles 'gainst a head. So old and white as this. O! O! 'tis foul!”. This shows Lear loss of identity as he is now reduced to nothing, and cannot cope with it. As he had played the role of a king for prolonged time it is difficult for him to become something else. In addition, Lear is finally starting to acknowledge what his daughters are doing, but has problems, excepting this that is why he battles nature. As he asks nature to fix the problems, showing a break in his mind as he thinks his problems can be fixed through supposedly battling the storm. Also this shows that he is wrapped in the tragedy, as he cannot see the irrationality of batting in the storm and how Lear affects the people around him as they are all waiting for him to go inside the hovel first.
izzythepush
 
  2  
Reply Fri 23 Dec, 2016 05:30 am
@Twinks082000,
Daughter's treatment means how he is treated by one daughter, but he's treated badly by two so it should be daughters' treatment.

It's been a while since I saw Lear, but I would say Gloucester, (pronounced Gloster btw) does not go mad he is blinded. That's a metaphor for Lear, he is blind, he cannot see the consequences of dividing his kingdom. I think you're making a bit of a leap re the hovel. Lear is still king, it's common for royalty to lead and others follow, the people waiting for him to enter the hovel are following protocol.

I know I sound v critical, but I think you've done a damn good job, it's a good essay, well done.
Twinks082000
 
  1  
Reply Fri 23 Dec, 2016 07:24 am
@izzythepush,
Thanks so much for the comment Very Happy
Great feedback its okay if critical thats what I want.
izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Fri 23 Dec, 2016 07:46 am
@Twinks082000,
Thanks. This is quite useful resource re madness.

https://www.bl.uk/shakespeare/articles/king-lear-madness-the-fool-and-poor-tom
0 Replies
 
Twinks082000
 
  1  
Reply Fri 23 Dec, 2016 09:08 am
@Twinks082000,
Hey guys thanks for the excellent job of editing my essay. You guys are the best Very Happy ! I know this is tiresome but I want you guys to read over parts of my essay as its due soon.
Gloucester is a noble man, who shares same fault of Lear of lack of personal insight, when Gloucester performs a similar act of banishing his child. Gloucester banishes Edgar as he believes that he had committed a crime, as he was convinced by Edmund. As Edmund creates a false letter that falsely indicates that Edgar wants to kill his father for gaining the inheritance. Gloucester believes in Edmund almost immediately, without consulting Edgar if this was true. So Gloucester is immediately enraged, believes the letter and wants to punish Edgar for this, and expresses his rage. "O villain, villain! His very opinion in the letter!Abhorred villain! Unnatural, detested, brutish villain!Worse than brutish! Go, sirrah, seek him. I'll appre-hend him. Abominable villain! Where is he? (1.2.75-78). This shows that his lack of personal insight prevents him from seeing that emotions he is feelings is dictating what he should do; this is seen as he immediately wants Edgar to be punished. As Gloucester immediately believes Edmund without consulting Edgar, and this indicates that there could be a preexisting fear in Gloucester that he thinks the young people want to takeover since he immediately jumped to that conclusion. This can be further proved as stated by Edward E.Forster who states that Gloucestor was misleaded by Edmund could be result of a preexisting fear
Gloucester like Lear trusts the children who do not truly love them, as misleadingly trusts Edmund as he mistakes illusion vs reality, but this is more of a result of “ long-term moral confusion” that is seen with his illegitimate son Edmund. (Foster, Edward E. "King Lear." Masterplots, Fourth Edition (2010): 1-4).
Gloucester is deceived by Edmund who carefully plays the part of trying to incriminate Edgar through his actions. Through playing of character traits such as gullibility and paranoia, so that Gloucester would believe him. The reason why Gloucester so easily believed him is that he could have had preexisting fear of the younger taking over the old, and by playing with his character traits like paranoia this made it easy to convince Gloucester.
izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Fri 23 Dec, 2016 09:56 am
@Twinks082000,
Quote:
As Edmund creates a false letter that falsely indicates that Edgar wants to kill his father for gaining the inheritance. Gloucester believes in Edmund almost immediately, without consulting Edgar if this was true. So Gloucester is immediately enraged, believes the letter and wants to punish Edgar for this, and expresses his rage


You're telling the story here. You're not writing for someone who doesn't know the play. It's not a revue.

Instead, Gloucester's, unjust, outburst at Edmund shows that his lack of personal insight prevents him from seeing that his emotions are dictating what he should do; this is seen as he immediately wants Edgar to be punished.
Quote text.

Maybe it's the typesetting and cutting and pasting to A2K, but you should set text out as it appears in the play.
0 Replies
 
rosebandvar
 
  1  
Reply Sun 25 Dec, 2016 01:15 pm
@Twinks082000,
hey can someone tell me if this sentence is right? Although I felt lost, the children's radiant presence gave me closure.
Blickers
 
  1  
Reply Fri 30 Dec, 2016 10:15 pm
@rosebandvar,
Yes, that seems fine. Sorry the answer is late.
0 Replies
 
 

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