I want to move out of my house!

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Ok, so I am a 16 year old male who lives in Sweden and has major depression problems... I have a friend over in Brazil, she's been helping me through this depression for a while and now im actually considering moving to Brazil and staying in her apartment for a while as roommates. She is one year older than me. But before I move, I want to finish the school im going to, even though it's going to be tough. I will be finished in 2019, and I will be 19 then. After that, I want to either move to Brazil, permanently and continue my education in Brazil, or just take one years break or so from all of this stress, so I can get rid of my depression.

I don't have any economical problems, I should be able to save up for the money I need and I'm going to try to find a job during the time I'm in Brazil. The problem I have is my parents. They won't let me go. They want me to continue my education here in Sweden, they want me to go to some fancy school when im done with the one im going to now.

I want to know what the right decision is here, dont I have the right as a 19 year old to move to another country without my parents' consent??? Even if I don't, why can't I take a years break? They don't care about me being depressed, they say it'll pass in time, but it's only been getting worse during these last two years.

I feel somewhat calm talking to this friend of mine though and she thought it was a good idea for me to come over and we could live in an apartment together, and I am very fond of this idea! Please help me, give me some advice! Sad

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Type: Question • Score: 4 • Views: 509 • Replies: 17

[+4] - saab - 12/07/2016A friend who is 17 does not have enough life experience to really help someone who suffers under depression. Contact http://www.bup.nu/sv/Rad-och-fakta/Depression-och-nedstamdhet/ Sorry to say...

A friend who is 17 does not have enough life experience to really help someone who suffers under depression. Contact
http://www.bup.nu/sv/Rad-och-fakta/Depression-och-nedstamdhet/

Sorry to say I think your parents are right regarding Brazil. You should first of all finish your school in Sweden.
If you want a year between school and studies it might be a good idea to try to get there either to study Portugeese or through a exchange program with a university or another school.

To go over there as a roommate with no real plans is a bad idea.

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Many people go to a new place thinking it will be a magic cure for everything that is wrong with their lives, and find, when they get there, that they have brought their problems along with them. Desperately seeking a magic cure is a bad idea. Fight and beat the depression where you are now, then move on. In any case, you cannot just move to Brazil. You need a visa and residence permit, and they are not given out like confetti.

1 Reply

@contrex,

Many retired people move to Arizona from the northern states and buy a home, and find they just hate it there. The best bet is not to make any permanent plans, but to think of staying for a few months to find out if living there is compatible for you.

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The age of majority in Sweden is apparantly 18, and there is a lot of time between now and 2019.

To the rest of the adults here, how many times did you change your mind about something important between the ages of 17 and 19?

He's got plenty of time to figure things out.

1 Reply

@chai2,

I left home at 17, and struggled to eek out a living. Best thing I did was volunteer into the USAF.

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@cicerone imposter,

That's good to know, but doesn't have much to do with the subject, as he said he wasn't going to move out until 19.

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@chai2,

Seems like he's planning. It's a good option if he decides to go into the military service.
I've kept in touch with another airman from over 50 years ago. As I recall, we both lost girlfriends. We met in Morocco, and he now lives in Texas. We now exchange Christmas card every year. We met in Dallas many decades ago on my way to Austin to visit our son. He still looked the same.

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I wonder about employment opportunities in Brazil, even for citizens.

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@roger,

True; the economy in Brazil is very bad. Unemployment is now 10.2% and increasing.

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@cicerone imposter,

Yes he is planning, but not very realistic.
Life has changed the last 50 years. Even Sweden has unemployment - just like all over Europe. Military is not an option for everybody the way the world looks today.
50 years ago it was easy to find a job, even with a limited education. No way today.
You do not anything about the military situation in Sweden today. So please do not suggest it.

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@cicerone imposter,

And within the European Union the unemplyment is around 20% and not getting better. In Brazil it is around 17%

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Thank you everybody for sharing what you have to say about this topic, I know this might not change much in your opinion. But imma try to mention one of the many reasons to my depression right now. I usually don't but if I can do it anonymously it feels a bit better.

My parents were top grade students when they exited but recently, my grades dropped due to my depression and I also lost pretty much all of my friends. My dad doesn't accept anything except for A's and my mother doesn't say much. I have discussed this with someone I know and always has pretty good advice between now and when I wrote that.

My biggest reason to leave the house is so that I can escape my parents. Everytime I spend time with them, they keep talking to me about me needing to improve my grades or else I wont get a job and so on... I get that, but it really gets me even more down... So this person I was talking about earlier, suggested becoming an exchange student, is that possible? Even if I dont move in with my friend, which we aren't really planning just yet, we are just talking about one of the possible outcomes here, I probably still wanto to move abroad and study elsewhere, so I can be in peace without my parents bothering me, so that I can focus on improving my grades again and trying to get my life together...

Is it still not possible for me to do this?? I don't want to try to seek help through some organization. Anyways, I don't really have much time to write down anything more, so I'll just answer more incoming comments later...

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@Hermanp00,

Lousy grades may make it difficult to become an exchange student.

How about suggesting counseling, or at least asking to go to your doctor? There is nothing wrong with saying, "Mom, Dad, I don't feel so well. Can I go to the doctor?"

And then go and unburden yourself. Let the doctor be the buffer between you and your parents.

Untreated depression can kill you. Going to another country is highly likely not going to be the magical cure for your depression. Instead, you'll just be depressed in a place with a different climate and culinary choices.

Running off to Brazil or wherever is not the solution.

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@Hermanp00,

Parents nagging about ....you have to have good grades....are sometimes unfair.
In your case it sounds like it. My impression is, that Swedish parents are less
demanding regarding grades than in some other coutries.
You ought to speak to someone at school - a teacher or school psychologist if there is one. Not only about your grades but fore most about your depression.
Student exchange should always be done through an orginisation. Otherwise you do not know where you land. It can be anything from the very nicest people to the lowest.
I have been looking at internet regarding student exchange and it seems mostly to be in connection with studies at universities. Again ask a teacher what he would recommend.
At least here is something about why Scandinavian students want to or do not want to ge abroad.
https://liu.se/io/internationella-nyheter/ios-nyhetsbrev/1.545705?l=sv

1 Reply

@saab,

Here is something about exchange for one year.. which is not connected to a university. You have to be under 18.
http://www.utbytesstudent-into.se/

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@Hermanp00,

Dude, parents, ugh. I feel you. I left home to escape my parents. Best thing I ever did. My dad was the worst human being I ever knew, and I was glad to move out. You probably don't feel exactly the same way I do, but I always felt like my dad was Satan spawn. I hated and opposed him through every step of my life because he was always angry and mean to me. Again, you probably don't hate your parents, but I feel what it's like to want to get away from them. If I was in your position, I most likely would have gone to Brazil to be honest. But I think the others are right. You don't want to put yourself in a hard place. Finish your education and move out. Move as far away from them as possible and enjoy your life. Grades aren't everything. Forget what they think.

1 Reply

@Skeleton ,

You obvisually had a very tough life at home with your parents - especially your father. I am sorry to hear that.
It was good for you to move away from home, but does not mean Herman should do it.
Sorry to say - your advise it very superficial. Get away, forget your parents and enjoy life. Especially as it is even dangerous for a young person suffering under depressions.

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