Explicitly sexual photos of an ex

Explain that to him just as you wrote about here. I can't say that he might think you were snooping, though. You'll need to get past that part. He should've kept those pix more private.

Uh... you did know they had sex right? And he comes home to you every night not her? It's just sex... Get over it.

Talk to him.

Since you've said you don't want the photos in your bedroom/closet, be prepared to suggest another spot for him to keep the photos.

If you can't talk to him during this moving in process, you need to determine if you're really in an adult relationship. Don't move in til you've had the discussion. Full stop.

He's having a GF moving in with him - and he has "forgotten" to clean out his closet of these photos?

H-m-m. Did he want you to find them or is he totally a dizz-brain?

Think about this. He needed to be more sensitive to you.

(Why would he keep them, anyway?)

Have a look at the difference in reply between men and women on this thread. The two genders tend to think rather differently on this subject.

Because they are his and he has every right to keep his belongings. It would be a better choice for him to keep them in a private place.

Wouldn't it suck if/when these 2 people eventually broke up, and now he doesn't have something that was important to him.

2 women and 1 man say keep them and suggest storing them elsewhere. 1 woman asks why keep them. 1 man asks why not have them.

I'm not sure you've got anything too definitive there re gender

Many years ago and far away, my lover used his new polariod camera, and we enjoyed it. He tore the one photo up, so me not to worry. That worked at least back then.

ThT was my first thought ehBeth. Seems that, except for punkey, we're all on the same page.

The only thing I would add to the OP is to really ask yourself if you weren't snooping just a little bit.

I can't imagine how they weren't in some kind of box, envelope, electronic storage device or at least enclosed in something.

Did you have to in any way open something to find these pictures?

Or were they just scattered all over, face up, so that you had no other choice to see them when you went into the closet?

Maybe you're uncomfortable with asking him about it because he would be within his rights to ask you why you were looking through his things.

If you were, why were you?

If you were, you need to keep your mouth shut and move on. They won't be fresh in your mind forever. If they are, you've got other issues you need to work on.

Maybe polariods have changed by now..

Perhaps I should have written it slightly differently, as they are actually 2 separate, though related, sentences.

1. Men and Women tend think rather differently on this subject

2. As an example, have a look at the difference in reply between men and women on this thread

As to your breakdown - there were other thoughtlines / differences in attitude & tone that get lost when one attempts to summarise.

Men generally don't have this discussion with women they know, so it's not too surprising that it is generally unknown to women.

Two men have responded.
Three women has responded.

What gender similarities and differences do you see in the responses?

really? it's not that odd a discussion for my real world

At the point that I replied, I count 2 men, and 2 women who had replied, one asking why keep them....which is who my reply was directed to.

That you think it's okay to keep such photos after a breakup is fine...but it's not a common attitude amongst women.

That is probably true, re the world at large.

most of the women responding here think it is all right

most of my real life female friends would think it's ok to keep the pix - and yes, this kind of discussion has happened

Good for you, and the group of women who are friends with.

We have different experiences, and so disagreeing about the commonness of such views is okay. In the end, I consider this arguing over differing experiences and perspectives. Something that doesn't lead much anywhere.

And again, my initial response was to Punkey, who asked a question.

and you'll note chai's response, noting that Punkey's response is the one that is out of the mainstream

Are you trying to win something here?