Tempted by affair offer

Forums: Cheating, Flirtation, Relationships, Marriage, Affair
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I am married to a wonderful man. We are friends with another couple that he introduced me to he has known for years. We all get along brilliantly. husband is very similar to the other woman and I am very similar to the other man. My husband has a disability and his partner a neurological issue that occurred a few years into their relationship that changed her personality behaviour somewhat.

The other guy recently admitted he is attracted to me and on social occasions we have flirted heavily. I am also extremely attracted to him in a way I have rarely felt outside of my marriage.

We all recently spent a week together and the lines were blurred some touching and kissing occurred, along with some long discussions and honesty about things he has never shared with anyone. He presented me with a proposal lets just have this physical thing on the side and get what we both want. Which is what we are both missing from our relationships/marriages. That due to the nature of each of their health issues will never change.

Firstly we are very good friends, confidantes. So we are currently taking a moment to think don't want to ruin anything in our lives separately or together. To take it further... I know its wrong already I know I shouldn't consider it at all. But I am and I hate myself for that. We both feel like even if we say No we will just feel this way for years to come.

This hasn't affected my marriage I am still as open and as sexual as before with my husband. My marriage is happy and loving. I do miss the sexuality I could have in a relationship with a person who doesn't have a disability. I didn't realise I even missed it until this happened.

The right thing is to shut it down and move on from it. How do you do that with people you are so close to? How do you kill the chemistry and just enjoy the friendship?

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Type: Question • Score: 2 • Views: 1,916 • Replies: 2

[+4] - CoastalRat - 11/10/2016[quote]I am married to a wonderful man.[/quote]So why would you even consider having an affair? I wonder what your husband would think of this guy who has been his friend for years...

@sbm16,

Quote:

I am married to a wonderful man.

So why would you even consider having an affair?

I wonder what your husband would think of this guy who has been his friend for years propositioning you? Some friend he is. And if you give in and have the affair, is this friend going to be there for you if your husband finds out and kicks you out?

Maybe if you talk things over with your husband and see what he thinks about this plan it would give you some clarity. After all, if it is such a good idea, wouldn't your husband go along with it?

I could say much more about this, but you might consider that rambling. Bottom line, this is your choice, but what you decide will affect a whole lot of people. Choose well. Good luck.

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@sbm16,

I was in a very similar situation. My now ex-husband suffers from a terminal neurological illness and it effected our marriage. I met someone that I really connected with and we started having an affair. Instead of dealing with the issues in my marriage, I allowed things to blow out of proportion and here I am now divorced but still with the other man. I can't tell you how sorry I am to cause not only my ex, but family and friends so much pain. If I could take back my actions I would, but since I can't do that I want to help people in similar situations to do the right thing.

You already know what the right thing is as you said, shut down and move on. So do it! I know it's easier said than done, but put yourself in your husband's shoes and imagine how he would feel if he found out. I would call the other man and tell him that it's wrong to pursue this any further and the only contact you will have with him is when the 4 of you get together. I would try to limit hanging out until the both of you get your feelings in check. If it takes going to a counselor, it's worth it. It would be good to get professional advice on how to handle your husband's disability and lack of intimacy in the marriage. I wish I had done that...

Whatever you do, do not be alone with this man again! Good luck to you and saving your marriage.

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Tempted by affair offer

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