So I started dating a girl from work about 3 months ago, she's 40 I'm 30. Everything was great we just had such good chemistry and the sex was amazing. She would call me up because she was worried about me if she hadn't heard from me and even asked if I'd be interested in moving in. Then out of nowhere she ends it saying she wants me to find a girl my own age that can give me the things she can't, kids etc. We were literally having sex 2 days before! So anyway post break up she's contacted me a lot saying she misses me and she's sad etc, she even invited me for a drink with her and her work colleagues on Friday. I didn't go as I would have felt awkward. I didn't hear from her after that until a happy Halloween message this morning and then I walked past her and she made a point to say hey. She's so confusing, but I think I want her back. What do you guys think?
Do you have children? do you want to be a parent in the future?
I did something similar to your ex about 20 years ago. I broke up with my younger boyfriend as I didn't want to be in the way of his chances to be a parent in the future.
It's whether she wants to pursue a future with me . I've never felt so comfortable around someone before and clicked so well. Corny as it sounds I feel she's my soul mate. I would love to be back with her, I just don't know if she feels the same.
She's worried about what you might be giving up to have a permanent, long-term relationship with her.
It's a fair concern.
(I personally think three months in is early to be thinking long-term, but I can sense where her freak-out came from)
It seems that she'd rather be with you than not - but she needs to know that you've seriously considered the complications that come from being with an older female partner - and one of them is no kids in her case.
It's not to do with *******. It's to do with feeling. I miss cuddling up on the sofa and watching a movie and falling asleep with her in my arms I miss her smell and her sense of humour. Don't get me wrong the sex was incredible but it was more than that.
0 Replies
PUNKEY
1
Reply
Mon 31 Oct, 2016 02:03 pm
She's not giving herself permission to have a serious relationship with someone ten years younger than she is.
She is DONE with kids, career climbing, etc - all the things people do when they are in their 30's. She is watching you enter these years now, and really, doesn't want to re-live them. That's why she let you go, even though she misses the great sex and cuddling.
Would you be willing to spend more time with her if you knew it would not lead to marriage and kids?
Yes I would. I didn't go after her because she was older, we just clicked and yes I would spend more time with her if I knew it wouldn't lead to marrige and kids.
0 Replies
ehBeth
1
Reply
Mon 31 Oct, 2016 05:34 pm
@Wtfishappening,
Wtfishappening wrote:
she even invited me for a drink with her and her work colleagues on Friday. I didn't go as I would have felt awkward.
you missed a really good opportunity to show her that you want to stay part of your life
I'd suggest telling her that you'd like her to invite you again - and say yes the next time.
Forget about awkward.
Work on developing a great friendship that has potential to be a serious, permanent good relationship ... if you are sure children are not on your agenda .
. I've never felt so comfortable around someone before and clicked so well. Corny as it sounds I feel she's my soul mate. I would love to be back with her, I just don't know if she feels the same.
Stumble It!
Tweet This
Bookmark on Delicious
Share on Facebook
Share on MySpace