Wife's Affair

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Please tell me someone how a 55 year old woman, wife, mother and grandmother can be having an affair and will not end it and risk everything?
I'm not the most outgoing man and I must admit don't show my feelings to anyone, but asisde from that I've never been unfaithful in my 34 year marriage, I've been hard working to to point of physical exhaustion a lot of the time, I'm considered loyal and trust worthy to all the people we know. Her sister though says I'm boring and stuck in a rut, how can that be? I've always put family first and made sure they have wanted for nothing. When I was told about my wife's affair (by her sister and with her permission) Ifelt destroyed, what have I done to deserve this I keep asking myself. Along with everything I've found out that several of our female friends know about this affair of 18 months standing and have said nothing, her sister even let my wife and this man of hers stay overnight at her place, betrayed by many I'm thinking. My wife has told me no way is she giving up this man, 20 years my junior by the way and a co-worker of her's, and I can take it or leave it as she feels like real woman again now. I cannot even think about divorce as my beliefs won't alow this. I am thinking of exposng this affair to our extended wife and confronting the pair of them at their workplace. Do you think this is the correct approach to take?

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@oldfool,

oldfool wrote:

I am thinking of exposng this affair to our extended wife

your extended wife?

in any case, a good relationship/marriage needs more than faithfulness.

When was the last time you and your wife went on a date? what have you done to make her feel sexually desirable?

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@oldfool,

oldfool wrote:

I cannot even think about divorce as my beliefs won't alow this.

do you think this matters in any real way?

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@oldfool,

oldfool wrote:

I am thinking of confronting the pair of them at their workplace.

are you interested in continuing to have a relationship with your wife?

if you are, you will probably want to reconsider this idea because it's on the far far side of a bad idea

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@oldfool,

Ouch. First of all I wanna say that I feel for your situation. When there is a problem in a marriage it gets ignored and leads to things like this. Was there any indication your wife wasnt happy? Did you know but not act?

I say as hard as it might be to confront but she sounds set. I dont think there is really anything you can do to change her mind. By all means you can try but it might bring more heartache.

I wouldnt go the revenge route and I know your beliefs make you feel like trying to solve it. But shes the one who has betrayed the marriage, not you so you shouldnt punish yourself over it.

You really dont want her having the best of both worlds, you providing her a place and support and allowing her to continue her affair.

You should decide for yourself what is important for you. I would cut her off. Walk a way. Maybe you might luck out yourself and find a hot 20 something who likes you for you. I know that might contradict your beliefs but you dont deserve to punish yourself.

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'I must admit I don't show my feelings to anyone"

Well - there's ONE reason your wife sought passion, attention, and intimacy with another man.

Forget the "exposure" at the office. It makes you look small. Besides, everyone knows - and don't give a crap.

Do you want to FIGHT for your wife or just sulk away?

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Wife's Affair

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