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Sun 25 Sep, 2016 10:41 am
My partner is extremely insensitive to my emotional and sexual needs. HELP!! I've tried bieng open and explaining things but it has not helped. He makes promises to do intimate affectionate things to me later in the day and gets my hopes up ( my pathetic ass actually believes it, gets excited and thinks about it the rest of the day) but when the time comes he never follows through or does what he promises. I'm extremely frustrated and considering leaving after nine yrs. we have sex almost daily but he gets off and goes off to do whatever leaving me frustrated, excited, alone and very confused. I'm so starved for passion and his affection that it makes me cry. He lays beside me and acts like there's nothing wrong and if I act upset he seems confused about the issue. I've told him many times to slow down and take his time but it doesn't matter to him. Why does he do this to me day after day after day. ?
@mamievdavis,
The qUestion really should be why do you allow it?
@mamievdavis,
Because you let him.
Time to talk, and probably in front of an impartial third party observer (e. g. a counselor).
@mamievdavis,
Relationships end. If this were me, I would leave the relationship.
You have done what you should do. You were open and patient and explained clearly what you needed. If he either can't or won't give you what you need, it is time to move on.
Good luck.
Have you ever tought about masturbating before or during sex with him?
Maybe take some responsibility for your own orgasm?
If he's doing what he does, then you need to do what you need to.
@mamievdavis,
It's really quite simple: he doesn't know how to make love to a woman.
He hurries because he thinks it's all about himself. Either teach him to slow down - by teaching him foreplay and not letting him do intercourse until you are ready OR find a man who likes to please a woman and recognizes that making love takes two.
The latter is so much less work.
To those who are advocating leaving him over this, don't you feel this is like throwing out the baby with the bath water?
Yes, maybe he's not talented with sex (or at least with her, it's her perception he's not good). Maybe he's just not good at sex, period. I don't know.
We don't know anything else about this relationship. Married? Children? Is he otherwise a kind person, a stable person who doesn't drink, do drugs, other criminal activity, etc etc.
Has this been going on for 9 years, or is this a recent problem? Are there health issues? Heart disease, diabetes, issues with premature ejaculation, a thousand other things? What are the ages of these people?
If any of us here had a partner that was sexually compatible developed a condition, slowly or suddenly, had an accident, would you leave that person because they weren't the same?
We also don't know how she's expressing herself to him. Maybe he's confused because she's really not touching on what is going on.
Or maybe he's just not into pleasing her in that way. Is that a reason to abandon whatever good things are going on?
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