It sounds like you may need medication at this point. Your doctor can provide this without seeing a psychiatrist or psychologist. I know what your talking about. I hope you have a loved one who can massage this away but just make an appointment with your doctor. I'm concerned that you don't want others to know but tell it to the internet. Stop worrying about what other people think.
They have there own problems. After I started writing this I realize that I have already responded to a post of yours but this post sounded more desperate. You don't have to do anything the doctor says just talk to him or her and see what he or she recommends. If it sounds like a good idea do it. If it does not suit you don't. The doctor doesn't care one way or the other. How many posts have you been doing on this subject and for how long. It doesn't sound like it's
solving your problem. If you have a significant other lean on them and hold tight. If you have a fear of the doctor don't be afraid to kick him in the nuts should the need arise. I don't really know what your life circumstances are so I'm limited on what to recommend. The more money you have the more options you have. The more support you have from real people around you the better off you are. Suffering alone is the worst. You can do better. See a doctor. You decide what to do with his or her advice. My best wishes,