What are we doing? Emotional affair no sex yet...

People lie during surveys .
Ok how is 20 percent is good?
So admit there are plenty of people who are
just living together. They don't know what to do until
Boom! They had just met someone!
Not black and white!

So, does this mean you are admitting that you pulled the 80% number out of your ass? Kinda destroys any credibility you have on this subject. (The highest result of 22% I found came from an Ashley Madison survey. I seriously doubt that people who signed up for affairs on Ashley Madison would lie since they would tend to be trying to justify having signed up on a cheating website.)

So, now that you are acknowledging it is only 20 percent on these surveys, let us see how the questions were answered. In every survey I found, the questions defined lack of sex as having sex 0 times to 2 times per month or there about (or week, depending on the survey.) So, a certain percentage of our 20% may well be having sex with their spouse, just not very often. And some of those women may not be having sex with their spouse because THEY don't want to for whatever reason. Which means the percentage of those who are unhappily in a sexless marriage is likely a good deal less than 20% of all women.

Of course there are those living together not having sex. I'd be a fool to say otherwise. And yes, I'm sure they are conflicted about what to do. And I am sure some of that number meets someone they are attracted to and are wanting to flirt with or hit the sack with them. If someone finds themselves in that position, no problem. They should do one of two things. Option 1: Talk to their spouse about having an open relationship. Hey, if the spouse is fine with the person having their needs met elsewhere, I certainly don't care. Option 2: Separate from their spouse and have all the fun they want with someone else.

Bottom line, in my opinion, if you are married you should stay faithful in all respects to your partner. If you cannot stay faithful because something is lacking in your marriage, then get out of it and be happy. Life is way too short to spend it not being as happy as you can be.

Why are you so mean?

Honest is not the same thing as mean.

Where have I been mean? I have given my honest opinion.

People come here looking for honest opinions/advice. There are people here who will give advice that may be different than mine, and that is fine. Everyone has an opinion. You'll never see me calling names or getting heated with someone who has a different opinion.

What I will always have a problem with are people who in order to back up their belief/opinion throw out false or misleading "data" as though it were fact in order to prop up their belief/opinion. That does a grave disservice to the poster who is seeking answers. In Eliusa's case in this thread, that is exactly what she did. She made up a number and thought nobody would call her out on it. I did. I googled it and gave her the actual numbers that are so out of whack with her number it was obvious she simply made up the number. And then she tries to tell me that all the surveys were wrong because women won't answer anonymous surveys honestly.

Her problem, if I may be so bold as to express an opinion, is that she came here a while back with a post about something she was going through seeking advice. She was given advice/opinions that she did not want to hear and now every chance she gets she tells others that rational posters here all spout the same advice for every situation and how we should not be listened to while she should be. She has a right to say whatever she wishes about me and others on here (to an extent) and every right to give her opinion to advice seekers. But I will not let her get away with outright lying and making up statistics to make it appear to people seeking answers that she knows what she is talking about.

So, I guess if that is being mean, then I am mean. But I would rather be honest and mean than lying and sweet and agreeable. I think that is what people are seeking when they post their problems.

Well numbers here isn't a keystone!
The fact that people do live sexless lives without cheating is THE FACT!
How do you feel about it, mr.PerfectHusband?

Also wives often make it look like they enjoy sex after 20 years.
Just to not stir the pot or not to shake up the air or just to keep
It cozy...and there he comes! Mr.Love! And you mr.Perfect screwed
Up! Or if she is not so...you are lucky and you keep in a dark to the
Rest of your life laying there believing she was actually getting those
Orgazms...bwhaha haha

I agree. You are the one who pulled a number out of your ass in an attempt to give your comment more weight with the OP.

I never disputed that. Why don't you learn to comprehend what others write instead of getting so defensive?

Couldn't care less since it does not concern me.

And of course you know this how? Oh yeah, made up facts again? Your statement may be true. Although I doubt you have any real basis to use the term "often." I don't dispute that there are some women who pretend to enjoy sex rather than take action to remedy that fact. Maybe they should sit down and have a conversation with their husband. Maybe they should be a bit more proactive in telling their husband what to do to make it better for them. I don't know, I am not them.

You have already acknowledged that I am perfect. Thus by definition, I cannot have screwed up as that would end my perfection.

I have no idea if you are somehow referring to my and my wife's sex life here or to the sex lives of women who pretend to enjoy sex. If the former, then I can only say that you truly have no idea what you are talking about. If the latter, well, you still have no idea what you are talking about.

You laugh at me, yet I'm the one with the marriage (and sex life) that you would love to have.

Quote:

Well numbers here isn't a keystone!
I agree. You are the one who pulled a number out of your ass in an attempt to give your comment more weight with the OP.

Ok...let it go with numbers already! People who live life as boring as yours don't know ANYTHING about what is going on outside of your small world!
How do I know it? Because I didn't as you don't. NOW I know. Because I
had been there (I am still there) and you weren't because there is red tape says 'No Perfect Spouse Permitted!'


Quote:

The fact that people do live sexless lives without cheating is THE FACT!
I never disputed that. Why don't you learn to comprehend what others write instead of getting so defensive?

Your every post denying existence of the sexless marriages! You advise people to ;talk' to their spouses. And I keep telling you that those spouses don't want to talk. Because if communications were possible they would have issue resolved before they come here to hear your advises.

Quote:

How do you feel about it, mr.PerfectHusband?
Couldn't care less since it does not concern me.

Nothing in less then perfect marriages concerns you.
You have no experience in infidelity. How can you even BE here at this dirty
side of the forum? What is so appealing to YOU - Husband of the Centuries?
Well...fess up already! It turns you on isn't it?

Quote:

Also wives often make it look like they enjoy sex after 20 years.
And of course you know this how? Oh yeah, made up facts again? Your statement may be true. Although I doubt you have any real basis to use the term "often." I don't dispute that there are some women who pretend to enjoy sex rather than take action to remedy that fact. Maybe they should sit down and have a conversation with their husband. Maybe they should be a bit more proactive in telling their husband what to do to make it better for them. I don't know, I am not them.

I was speaking about everybody whos wives are imitating an orgasm.
And for all of you - you will never know!
Sit down and discuss? Laughable! What is he going to do? Take a course on how to give an orgasm to a woman? just think what you are saying!!! For once!




Quote:

bwhaha haha
You laugh at me, yet I'm the one with the marriage (and sex life) that you would love to have.

I had it! And never in my life I would want it again. Being freshly in love is something you will never know. Trembling every time seeing his call coming trough is non-descript feelings. I am thin, young, flustered and happy! Why would I want to be frustrated, sad and feeling non existent again?

Conclusion: if you don't know how to use a scalpel - don't perform a surgery!
Hugs. Don't be sad. We will find you some clean fun. Except one you have trying to teach a subject you have no idea about...I love you too.

Oh wow, where to begin?
If you only knew how exciting my life is, you would likely be jealous.

You continue to have difficulty with reading comprehension. I never denied why you claim I have denied.

I would bet that most spouse WOULD want to talk if it meant improving their relationship. I am certain though that some spouse would not be willing to talk. Then it is left up to the aggrieved spouse to live with it or end the relationship. Why be in a relationship that is lacking and not making one happy?

Of course not. Why should it?

And you know this how?

Maybe I just like flirting and playing games with you. And I see I have graduated from being Mr. Perfect Husband to Husband of the Centuries. Good for me. I'm improving.

He could do a bit of reading on the subject. Or better yet, his wife could tell him and show him what she likes and what feels good for her and brings her to an orgasm. Wouldn't you enjoy teaching your husband how to get you off? So yeah, sit down and talk about it. Nothing laughable there at all.

Well, you got me there. I am not quite thin, older, never flustered and quite happy. So we will have to call that a draw.

I'm almost never sad. And I like clean fun. Even some not so clean fun. lol Hugs to you. And I love you too.

Quote:

People who live life as boring as yours
If you only knew how exciting my life is, you would likely be jealous.


YOU ARE HERE ALL THE TIME! Whom are you kidding???

If I had my man next to me all the time I would not be seen here or anywhere else. But all over HIM!

Quote:

People who live life as boring as yours
If you only knew how exciting my life is, you would likely be jealous.

YOU??? Do tell...

Well...when you telling me about your infidelity - I hope you don't count our 'get naked' tonight because it hadn't happened yet;)

Naw, it just seems like it.

Same with my wife and I. In fact, I'm only here responding while she takes a few minutes to rest up for another go round. I can't keep her off of me it seems.

Ooops, I think I just did.

I won't count it until it happens.

And you skipped a few 'inconvenient' point...purposely I suppose!

If I skipped something it was likely because it was not important. But feel free to tell me what I missed that you would like a response to.

Here for 1o1 time...what is happy man doing HERE?
Enjoying talk about other people sex? Fess up!

I just checked and I don't see where I talked about anyone's sex life. Given advice/opinions when asked, but have not talked about anyone else's sex life. And you are a bit early for 1 on 1 time. It is not yet 8pm. Lol. And we really need to take that to pm rather than on a thread anyway. We have kidnapped this one enough.

I hope you are at least decent looking...otherwise kidnap your wife!!
BTW is she coming to watch and learn?

It seems you are in a magical relationship . Sex would really be amazing actually with soulmate, experience it enjoy it. Don't let the moral grounds ruin a heavenly experience that has come to visit you. These connections are very rare . If you both are mature enough you will not let it burn your family lives. Handle with care and cherish it .