Am I wrong or bad?

Miscommunication is annoying, of course. Did you really make yourself clear? I ask because it sounds like he was really trying to do his part.

hunh

I'm usually pretty pleased if someone else does the cooking for me.

It's good that you've got celery and eggs for another meal as well as lighter fluid and charcoal for the next bbq.

Did he know that it was potato salad and bbq chicken or nothing?

No, it just iritates me that he ALWAYS does the opposite of what we agree on. I told him I was going to run errands, and then I wanted to grill. I told him that it would be nice if he would just boil some potatoes for me so that I could make potato salad. I guess Im unreasonable. He tried to do something nice. It just frustrates me that we agree on things then he takes it upon himself to change things all the time. He didn't do anything wrong, it just irritated me a bit, and he could tell. I tried not to sound dissappointed, but I blew it. He got upset and left.

If she wolda been even more savvy (like my wife in our courting days). She coulda milked his pity bone by feigning this anger , (Which, by the way lady, I do not get, You have a gem of a guy who ,while even cooking dinner has your ****, up with which he has to put

After feigning the anger, hed serve you the meal an then get all fuzzy and take you out to some really fancy plce next night.

Yes, I invited him for a bbq that I was going to cook. I enjoy cooking out. Yes, he tried to do something nice, but could sense I was dissapointed, and he left.

Yes, I was an unreasonable brat I guess.

Why that bastard.

You mean he actually cooked a full delicious sounding meal for you?

This is beyond abuse, I would call it an act of terrorism against you.

If you let these things go on, next thing you know he'll be baking you pies, maybe even washing your car without your knowing it.

You need to cut him loose, and just pray he doesn't treat some other poor woman this badly.

I got that Tee shirt ever since the Bear first mentioned it severql years ago. I searched and searched. Mine starts "No matter how hot the woman..."

I had weightloss surgery and I can't eat any of his cooking. He cooks with too much sugar, oils, butters, etc it makes me sick, not that I wouldn't eat... I was hungry and had a hard time eating, so I wanted to make what I could eat. I told him that... I didn't say that it bothered me, but he could sense it, and got mad. He left, and I ate something else. I hadn't really ate for about a week, and what I did, I wasn't able to digest. I know, Im terrible.... I sent him a text apologizing. I told him sorry, he tried to do something sweet, and I was a brat and messed it up. I asked him to forgive me.

That works both ways. Oh I am definitely not perfect, but neither is he. You are only judging me by the paragraph you read. You don't really know me, or him.. Sometimes he can be a brat too....lol. I know I can be unreasonable, and I will work on it. Its all good.. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

That's funny. That's where I first remember hearing that phrase too.

The other day I was walking down the sidewalk near the college campus.

Half a block up, I noticied 2 young people sitting on the curb, she apparantly much distressed.

As I got up to them, I could hear her saying through this shaky cry-y voice.......b-b-but I don't UNDERSTAND! (sniff sniff) w-w-w-hy can you j-j-just....blah blah blah.

I'll give the guy some credit, he was trying. They both saw me coming, and she was so into it she didn't care. She was probably deep inside happy to have a (female yet) audience. He was really trying to look concerned, but I caught him looking off for a second like "jesus christ, I could be studying/sleeping/playing on my phone/anything else right now"

I so wanted to say "Save youself son. It's not too late. Run"

You'll be served many a meal in life you say you can't eat. (metaphorically)

You smile, say thanks and take a bite or 2.

He didn't "sense" in some mysterious way you were upset. You let him know loud and clear. Words or not. Just as loud as we all can tell you want to hear that "no, you're not a bad person"
If you've got to ask that, then you have your answer about how you feel about what happened.

My advice?
Grow up and get a little gratitude going on.

If you say you are grafeful for him, you wouldn't be here bitching about a piece of chicken.

That's all I have to say about that.

If he regularly prepares food that you can't eat for health reasons, then you have to take responsibility for completing the meal prep before he arrives.

If he wants to help, he can help when you're both there and you can assign him a task - cutting celery or whatever.

__

Slightly separately, if I invite someone over for a meal - I prepare the meal. I don't ask them to cook part of the meal while I'm not even home. That's not much of an invitation.

I have known him for 27 years. We do that all the time. I have cancer, can't move most of the time. I was having a good day, and I was selfish and wanted to cook for him, as well as cook something I could eat. I guess I have a lot going on, I shouldn't be so uptight.

If after 27 years, he doesn't know what you can and can't eat - or doesn't bother to abide by the requirements, you've got a whole separate problem.

I would never prepare anything for Set with ingredients I know would cause him discomfort or pain.

yes, we definitely have other problems. My last surgery he decided not to come, and stayed home and got drunk. He said that he couldn't stand seeing me in such pain, thats why he didn't come to my surgery or visit me in the hospital.

Don't bite the hand that feeds you, so to speak. Maybe he was hoping you would be happy to come home to less work and more time to spend with him. Definitely over-reacted. I would have left too.

Second reason he might have left is he made a meal that was absolutely fine to eat and not over the top. I mean.. chicken and potatoes at home. Not exactly popeyes restaurant crap. He saw it for what it is: basic food, take it the way it comes cause it does not get more straight foreward than that. But over time with your cancer, you are 'over-sensative' to things that are not that big a deal. That probably got to him more. Basic meal, chicken and made potatoes, and that wasnt good enough for you. Maybe you are more picky than you realize and its starting to get to him and frustrate? Look at all his angles

You are right. I have since apologized. He still hasn't returned my call or text.