Very confused

Okay. This is kind of a crazy story and makes me come off as a piece of crap but it is what it is. For the past 5 years I've been in a relationship I have just been unhappy in. Made the even bigger mistake of getting married last year. But I believe I did all that just because I didn't want people to hate me for leaving her, especially since we have 2 kids. She got pregnant 6 months after we started dating so I suppose I felt trapped and just bottled everything up. Well, I would say I reached a point where I couldn't take it any more and instead of manning up and leaving I started talking to a coworker. Now I would say it took about two months of just kind of flirting around at work and stuff before I decided I would see if anything was really there with this girl. It started out as a physical attraction for sure. So one thing led to another and one day after work we hooked up, and then the next day as well. Then we got closer, would talk all day long about everything and anything. We really got to know each other. Then she backed off. I couldn't really figure out why so I decided maybe if I finally leave my wife then I could be happy with this girl. Well I finally broke the news to her that I wanted a divorce and of course she took it horribly. And when I told my "friend" this she decided to come back to me, saying she didn't wanna make a mess before. So everything was good for about two weeks, we continually got closer and we both said we loved each other, said we've been waiting for each other our entire lives. She seemed like she has never been properly loved honestly. Like she dated one too many douches. Not saying I'm perfect because of what I did is wrong, but I know how to love someone very well. I even told her like a little paragraph of how I feel and she said it was the most sincere thing anyone ever said to her. So things were going good, we would hang out at work and hold hands and hook up sometimes after work. But then she backed off again completely. And when that happened I kinda freaked out and probably put too much pressure on her I guess to be with me. I kept asking her why all of a sudden she doesn't wanna be with me, and she said she just doesn't want a relationship. It's been a month of this now but I still can't help but think she is seriously conflicted about being with me. I tried giving her space but I always end up caving and sending her something asking her why we can't be together, we were so good and we both made each other so happy. So now I have a divorce to go through and she is out of the picture as well. And she isn't the only reason for my divorce and I've told her that several times. I just wanna be happy and I was so happy with this girl. I guess it's important to note she is 6 years older then me and lives an hour away but it doesn't bother me. Nothing about her bothers me. We are different people, and we both always said that differences are good. So now I'm just not sure what to do. I messaged her yesterday and asked her what's going on and she said she doesn't want to be in a relationship and that apparently we can't be friends, which is true because she is the most beautiful girl on this planet to me and after everything we've gone through together I simply can't let it all go and don't understand how she could either. I asked her today if we can go for a walk after work this weekend to see what's there and just to see if we can get back to where we were or at least to give me a chance. She read it but no response. I know I should probably leave her alone but I feel like persistence can sometimes work but I'm just probably blinded by love at this point. We both said we feel like we were supposed to find each other, and maybe I just need to put in the work for her, seems wrong but love is weird sometimes.