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Am I a "pervert" if I compliment a woman's physical appearance?

 
 
Reply Tue 23 Aug, 2016 03:21 pm
I've never dated a girl before but am trying to change that. I was at a restaurant the other day. There were two young women (probably in their twenties, like I am) talking to each other. One of them had glasses and I remember thinking that she was one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen. Both of them were finished eating and she kind of glanced at me as I passed her table before looking away. They left the restaurant very soon, but I remember thinking that if I had been alone that day I would have approached the table and tried to make conversation. In my boldest dream I would come up to her and tell her that I thought she was the cutest girl I had ever seen and then would have given her my email. I also considered just handing her a book with my email scribbled inside, along with a compliment.
But at the same time...in romance comedies the guy who does that kind of stuff is usually the "bad guy" in the movie, who ends up getting humiliated by the girl. There is one goofy movie where a guy doing something something similar gets confronted by Cupid, who turns him into a dog to teach him a lesson. In another movie a ninja grandma beats up the guy. In comedian talk shows, guys who compliment women like that are often called perverts and are the butt of jokes, while Meghan Trainor wrote a song telling girls to say no to that kind of guy.
With so much pop culture against that type of man, I wanted to know what you thought. If this were a movie and I had approached that young woman with glasses and complimented her like that, would I be the bad guy?
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vikorr
 
  1  
Reply Tue 23 Aug, 2016 03:42 pm
@Joe Joe ,
Why don't you join some a group with people your own age. Those sorts of groups can include:
- singles groups
- volunteer/charity organisations
- church
- outdoor activities groups (eg kayaking, hiking etc)
- etc

This way you get to talk to and know women your own age.

Or try online dating (it's just another way to meet people), or both online dating, and the above.
-----------------------------------------------

As to your original question - creepiness is in the delivery / circumstances. What you described would probably be creepy (much more likely the bigger the age difference, and the more anxious you are), but perhaps not.
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ehBeth
 
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Reply Tue 23 Aug, 2016 03:59 pm
@Joe Joe ,
Joe Joe wrote:
I also considered just handing her a book with my email scribbled inside, along with a compliment.


there's a downside to this - you're assuming she'll open the book

I speak from experience - as the woman who didn't open the book for well over a year so didn't see the note til the guy had left the continent.

___

Smile. Say hello. Introduce yourself.
Joe Joe
 
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Reply Wed 24 Aug, 2016 10:50 am
@ehBeth,
Thanks for the warning! If by chance I see her again I will introduce myself.
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cicerone imposter
 
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Reply Wed 24 Aug, 2016 06:47 pm
@Joe Joe ,
If that's being a pervert, count me in! There are many ways to approach a woman; some good and some bad. Any friendly approach should be okay.
May I join you? May I buy you a cup of coffee? I really like the neckless/jacket you're wearing.

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